Don’t be Fooled Again — Keep Taking Nutritional Supplements

Mainstream media outlets such as The Today Show were abuzz this morning due to a new editorial published in this week’s Annals of Internal Medicine entitled “Enough is Enough: Stop Wasting Money on Vitamin and Mineral Supplements”. The editorial was based on three studies that just concluded looking at the effects of multivitamins on preventing heart attacks and cancer, as well as improving cognitive function in men older than 65. It’s conclusion, yet again, was that vitamins do not help improve human health and in fact “can be dangerous and should be avoided”. This is the message that went out to tens of millions of trusting Americans. The problem is that it’s a flat out lie.

There are so many problems with this story that it’s difficult to know where or how to begin to address it.

[Before we do so, just for the record, let’s be clear where I stand personally with some background and a disclaimer so there is no confusion. Though it isn’t my main occupation, out of pure love for the subjects of health, wellness and anti-aging research, as an entrepreneur I have worked in the health and nutrition industry on and off for over twenty years on the side. It is a passion. I started off as a hobbyist out of a burning desire to improve and optimize my own health — I envisioned a sort of super-hero like optimal ageless health and vitality. Eventually I decided to enter the industry as a business person. I’d always loved business and I loved health and nutrition, so it was a perfect fit. Through the years, I have worked as a researcher and writer of numerous articles on the subject and as a health and nutritional supplement consultant to individuals. I also owned a chain of health food stores that were sold to the GNC Corporation, owned a chain of juice bars, have done consulting to retail store owners in the industry, and eventually transitioned to product development where I worked directly with large manufacturing labs to create a line of anti-aging products — the most notable and successful being the UltraMax-HGH line. Though it may be redundant because it’s well known data, I still feel it’s important to state for the record. I eventually moved to the manufacturing side because that’s where my real passion was — supplement research, as well as where the most money can be made. I founded and was the CEO of a large nutritional supplement manufacturing company called Ageless Foundation Laboratories for six years that I actually started out of one of my health food stores when I was 25 years old. It grew into a multi-million dollar company within a few short years. That company was eventually sold to a much larger publicly traded company called Naturade. The products I developed are still on the shelves of most health food stores in America and in many other countries around the world. With that said, I do not currently own any nutritional supplement companies nor profit in any way from selling any. I have no vested financial interest in the industry. Only a love and passion for the subject.]

With that said, let’s begin. The most important thing to understand about this most recent article and the studies that were released is this: Number one, this is only happening in America. Most other civilized countries around the world do not let large corporations and industries control the health of their population, nor do they auction it off to the highest bidder the way the United States does. Hopefully this won’t last forever. Number two, there is a battle being waged against the natural foods and nutrition industry by the American medical establishment. It’s corporate piracy at its most ruthless. It has nothing to do with health or wellness or anyone wanting you or me to be healthy. Instead is has everything to do with making money. It’s been going on for nearly one-hundred years. Ever since the transition from medicine being an all natural healing modality to a corporatized monopoly worth hundreds of billions of dollars back in the early nineteen-hundreds.

Here’s the skinny: drugs and medicines can be patented. As long as they are “synthetic” or man-made. Natural foods and nutritional supplements cannot be patented. The reason for this is because supplements are normally “food sourced”, whereas drugs are synthetic. Foods cannot be patented. (Though this has not stopped Monsanto from somehow managing to find a way to patent seeds of the earth and suing farmers for using them. Go figure. But that’s a different post.) There are literally billions of dollars that a company can make from a patented drug, because once it’s approved, they are the only company that will be allowed to sell it. Nutritional supplements do not operate like that in the United States. No one can patent an herb or vitamin and be the only company that is allowed to bring it to market. This infuriates the pharmaceutical industry. Anything that has the potential to take money out of their pockets does. And the nutritional supplement industry has turned into a 16 billion dollar a year business. Not too shabby.

Every time a person chooses to go all natural versus the traditional allopathic medicine route, doctors, hospitals and pharmaceutical companies lose money. There is nothing the American medical industry despises more than all natural or holistic medicine. They are constantly working behind the scenes — through bogus clinical trials, or propaganda campaigns disguised as PSAs, or in Washington DC through spending hundreds of billions of dollars in lobbying — to discredit anything remotely natural or nature based. They’ve been trying to discredit chiropractic medicine for decades. To no avail of course, because chiropractic really works. And it works great. No one should be allowed to live without visiting one at least twice a year if not once a month. But don’t go telling a traditional doctor that. They have no idea how to fix the body without drugs or surgery. The same goes for nutritional supplements. If you take St. John’s Wort, B vitamins and EFAs along with plenty of exercise to ward off anxiety or depression for example, drug companies don’t make any money. Neither do doctors. The same goes for lowering your cholesterol or preventing heart disease or any number of other maladies. If you stay healthy and never get sick through good eating habits, restful sleep, lots of exercise and the right nutritional supplements, needless to say, no one who works in the traditional medical establishment is going to make any money from your wellness. It’s only from your sickness that they get paid.

Here’s the funny thing about that though. As soon as a new herb is discovered that has healing properties, the medical establishment immediately rushes off to the lab to try to figure out what in it is so helpful so they can synthesize it., i.e. steal it from nature. If they can synthesize it, that is, create it in a lab from scratch in an artificial manner and render it useful in some way as a “medicine”, at least half as useful as the original herb itself, they can then patent it and sell it as a “drug”, even though all it is is just a fake less-effective version of something that came naturally out of the ground. Bayer Aspirin is nothing but a synthesized version of the herb White Willow Bark, an herb that was used for thousands of years as an all natural analgesic. Heroin and Morphine, also invented by Bayer interestingly, are simply synthesized versions of the Poppy Plant and opium. The hair loss drug Propeica may have been a new wonder drug at some point. But there was nothing new about it. In fact it is nothing but a feeble attempt at a synthetic version of the herb Saw Palmetto extract, something which has been used for thousands of years to lower the body’s excess DHT (di-hydro-testosterone) — one of the main causes of hair loss. Ironically simple and cheap Saw Palmetto extract works ten times better at preventing hair loss than the very expensive drug Propecia. Go figure.

I must admit to feeling more than a wee bit annoyed by having to post this information, only because I’ve done it a million times in a million ways. And so have lots of other people. There is nothing that will be written here that is not easily accessible through simple online research or at any local library, AND just due to the fact that I have been discussing it for so damn long. Thousands of people and organizations have. So forgive me if I skip around a bit. My feeling is that the most important thing here at this moment is just to get the information out there yet again to address this particular study asap — especially since this particular article mysteriously garnered so much media attention. In fact, let’s address that for a second with another very important area of day to day life where we are constantly fooled.

Nothing we see or hear or read in mainstream news has not been paid for and “pitched” through a PR firm or a news wiring agency. One of the reasons why the media reports on the White House everyday is because the White House sends them press releases everyday. It’s nearly a mandate. Whether interesting or not. President Obama pardons a turkey on Thanksgiving — a ridiculous event for so many reasons — and yet year after year you’ll see it plastered across your TV screen and splattered on the front page of many local newspapers. Why? Because the White House issued a press released through the right channels and big media covers any and all that does so. So too do large corporations that can afford to. So too do large Hollywood studios and television networks pitching their “next big blockbuster”. If you’ve always found yourself confused as to why the Kardashians and Paris Hilton and Brtiney Spears are all over the news when you have absolutely no interest in them and you have a feeling that most everyone else you know shares your sentiment, the reason is simple: they are paying for very expensive PR firms and issuing daily press releases. These get picked up by news distribution aggregators such as Reuters or Associated Press –wiring services — and then trickle down to smaller news services such as CBS, NBC, CNN, etc. and their local affiliates. That’s how we get our news. Through nothing more than a slightly altered, subtle form of glorified advertising.

This is the main reason why every media outlet in America picked up on the “vitamins don’t do any good” piece today. The Annals of Internal Medicine has access to billions of dollars. They issued a press release. Many news agencies don’t even bother to check on what they publish. They simply re-distribute and reprint everything that is issued through the news wiring services. I know this because I’ve been in the entertainment industry for most of my life and know how it works. If there’s any guilt to be had in the process, and I don’t necessarily believe there is, I’m just as guilty as the next guy. You wouldn’t believe the kind of things you can get away with releasing as “news” simply by paying to release it through the right channels. It’s laughable. And at the same time frightening as all hell. A good PR Firm will cost anywhere between $4,000 to $25.000 per month with a three month minimum. Without one of them, you’re a nobody. Meaning, you’ll have a tough time getting anyone in big media to pay attention to you, no matter important your news might be. If you want to do it yourself, you can form your own corporation and purchase a subscription to PR Newswire — the largest of the wiring services — for $1500 a year and then pay approximately $700 for about a 500 word press release. You won’t necessarily get picked up by The Today Show. That’s where a big name PR firm comes in. But you will get your news in tens of thousands of media outlets all over the country in less than 24 hours. This is how it’s done.

It’s the reason why we only hear about things that have money behind them AND why we almost never hear about things that do not have big money behind them. It’s the difference between major record label artists and indie artists; the difference between big budget Hollywood movies and indie films; the difference between big celebrities — no matter how annoying or worthless to society — and admirable do-gooders who we’ve never heard of: publicity, PR firms and PR wiring services. Or the lack thereof.

This is also why we heard all about this new study claiming that vitamins don’t do you any good but we almost never hear about the millions, yes, literally millions, of studies that have been conducted in labs all over the world that show that nutritional supplements cure disease or extend life. There’s just no money in running a science lab and conducting these studies unless you can patent that nutrient. And nutrients cannot be patented. This doesn’t stop labs and universities from doing studies. Scientists love research and exploring, getting to the bottom of things. They’ve got a sincere innate passion for discovery. They’re almost all conducted by research grants or non-profit companies who care a lot less about business than they do research. So the studies are out there. They just don’t ever make the news because there’s no big payoff in it. If reading about health studies and clinical research is your thing, or if you just want some proof that nutritional supplements work miracles in improving human health, go here: You will see hundreds of studies that have been conducted that prove the effectiveness of vitamin C supplementation in preventing disease and improving health. This is just one example. Millions of such studies exist about thousands of different vitamins, herbs and other kinds of supplements. Everyone is at first shocked by how many millions of studies are out there that show how effective nutritional supplements are to human health. It is quite shocking at first. But again, we just never hear about them. THIS is one of the many shams being perpetrated on the American public on a day to day, year to year basis by big government controlled by bigger corporations.

So why would the medical community not want us to know about all these studies? Even more important, why would they spend millions of dollars to conduct different studies to try to disprove the thousands of studies that have already been conducted that show how effective certain supplements are? Hopefully you now know the answer to those questions. No money in nutrients. Plenty of money in disease, doctors, medicine and patented drugs.

I know what you’re thinking and you’re right. I didn’t quite believe any of this when I first heard it either. That was 20 years ago. I was just a kid. It sounded crazy. Like conspiracy theory speak. Doctors are in collusion with pharmaceutical companies to try to steer me clear of natural healing so they can profit from me being sick and using only drugs? It sounded insane. (But hey so did almost everything I learned about the history of the popes and the Catholic Church too….) But I kept reading and studying. I learned about how fluoride first got introduced into the system in America to “fight tooth decay”. Turns out that giant aluminum companies didn’t know what to do with the millions of pounds of aluminum fillings and dust they had leftover after manufacturing. So they got the idea to pay the government to dump it in the lakes and rivers. The government needed the money. As they always do. So they bit. The manufacturing companies were able to pay the U.S. government less than they were paying large union backed disposal companies to dispose of the same junk. Pretty soon they launched campaigns talking about the potential benefits of drinking “fluoride” — a chemical that the stuff breaks down into. They began paying dentists, in the form of scholarships, grants, donations and sponsorships of course, started pseudo-research organizations to promote that drinking fluoride and rubbing it on your teeth could prevent cavities. After all, aluminum is an abrasive. It made sense in theory. Millions of dollars were spent. Tens of millions. But nowhere near as much as they were spending to dispose of their aluminum leftovers the proper way. So it was actually cost effective. Pretty soon every municipality in America wanted those monthly checks from the big manufacturing companies. After all, all they had to do was allow them to dump aluminum fillings into public water systems. Flash forward a few decades. The aluminum manufacturers have saved hundreds of millions of dollars and 99% of Americans believe that rubbing aluminum dust on their teeth is good for them. And yes they even believe that drinking it is good for them.

The same thing happened with antiperspirant. The average American antiperspirant is actually nothing but the refuse of aluminum manufacturing companies. Read the ingredients. You’ll see it right on the label. The process allegedly works by clogging your pores with tiny metal shavings. You still perspire, which is a natural method your body uses to expel toxins; you just don’t perspire under your arms. You’ve clogged your sweat glands up with a toxic heavy metal. It’s brilliant. It also just might be the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard, right? Who in their right mind would deliberately shove microscopic toxic metal shavings into their body only for it to leak into their entire system? Turns out that a lot of people do. Because they don’t know any better. They’ve been fooled. Again.

With the advent of twenty years of research into Alzheimer’s Disease, many studies are starting to show conclusively that the one thing that all Alzheimer’s Disease patients have is an excess of aluminum in their brains. Where would all that aluminum in the brain be coming from? You guessed it. Antiperspirants, toothpastes and fluoridated tap water. The irony is that aluminum pots and pans have basically been banned from being used in the kitchen precisely because we are so concerned with the potential harm that is caused from eating food cooked in aluminum. Go figure that one out.

The first question I asked myself when I started learning about all this was “why isn’t the government doing anything to stop all this?” I believe that if you’re smart enough to be here, you probably already know the answer to that question. Why did the Obama administration allow Monsanto to block the labeling of genetically modified food into becoming law when he promised to be the hope and change president? Why has he locked up more black men for drug possession than any other previous president? Why has he deported more illegal immigrants than any other administration? Why does he have the dubious honor of being the first American president in history to authorize the assassination of an American citizen with no arrest or trial? Why doesn’t he do anything about fracking when whole towns around the country are becoming contaminated, desolate, unlivable swamps of pollutants where people can light their tap water on fire with a match and hundreds are getting sick or dying? There are a lot of these questions. In the end, the answer always seems to be about one thing: money.

I don’t believe that Barack Obama is necessarily “evil”. No more evil than George Bush or Dick Cheney or any of the others. Rather, it appears more that they just have a stronger desire for personal achievement than they do a desire to improve the world around them or right the wrongs of the world. In order to reach the level of president of the United States, one has to say yes to a lot of things one would never normally say yes to. Excepting the purely mad or sociopathic that is. Strange bed-fellows begin to appear in your inner chambers. Carrying large amounts of cash. What are you going to do? If you say no, you lose and you’re never heard from again. But if you say yes… The world can be yours. Or at least the presidency. Unfortunately it doesn’t begin and end at the top. In fact it only gets worse the further down the food chain we travel. Less money. Less access. More need. More ambition. As long as we continue to fool ourselves into thinking that attention hungry, ambitious politicians make effective civil servants and leaders, we will continue to face these same dilemmas, dangerous, harmful, even deadly.

It took me a long time to believe that the government knew about potentially harmful practices and products and didn’t do anything to stop it. It’s a terribly frightening fact to contend with. You feel naked and alone when first confronting it as a reality. For if you can’t trust the government, then who can you trust? And your doctor? Egads, you’re telling me that he or she is knowingly making decisions that are harming my health?

No. Not necessarily. It turns out that many of the largest medical schools in America were started by and are largely funded by large multi-national corporations, like Carnegie or Kellogg’s. There are agendas. Subtle but strictly adhered to. Scholarships are given out by the thousands by pharmaceutical companies. And it’s common knowledge that your average American medical doctor takes no more than three credit hours on human health and nutrition. This means that after eight or nine years of schooling they may know less than you do about health and nutrition. That’ s an alarming statistic. But it helps shed light on why most American doctors don’t know much about nutritional supplements or even health itself. Instead they are trained in disease. And the way they are trained to treat disease is by medicating it (with drugs) or operating on it. In fact, most doctors are even paid in various ways to prescribe drugs to their patients. This again is just a staggering fact to integrate. Why on earth would a doctor prescribe you an all natural nutritional supplement if they’ve been programmed to not know anything about nutritional supplements and instead are being paid to dispense drugs? They’re not evil. They’re just ignorant. At least at that level. It’s the higher-ups who are truly evil. The doctors are just the dumb middle men. Some of them at least.

If you ever want to test this out, next time you go to your doctor, ask him what he knows about a particular nutritional supplement. Not what he thinks about it, but what he knows. Choose one that you happen to know a lot about. See what he says. You’ll be surprised. It’s not that they don’t know a lot. On the contrary. They know tons. And thank God for that. Just not about health and nutrition. They can break a disease and its symptoms down like nobody’s business. They just have no idea how to prevent cognitive decline naturally or help you shed 20 pounds using exercise and the right nutritional supplements.

Luckily this is changing. When I was actively working in the nutrition industry, I was approached by doctors all the time who wanted to enter into the nutrition industry in any way they could. The stories were always the same. “The health insurance companies have us by the short hairs Fishy. I’m barely making enough to support my family. Certainly nothing compared to how many years I spent in school. You make way more money that I do. Certainly I can get in somehow… You can use me as a spokesman. Put my picture on one of your boxes of magic pills. I have to have a staff of ten girls in the front of office just to collect the money we are owed from these health insurance companies.” It’s sad. Their industry is a bloody mess. And it’s primarily due to the monopolistic control the health insurance and drug companies have over it. The doctors and the patients are the ones being screwed. Which is why it is vital that we learn as much as we can about health and nutrition ourselves; and encourage our doctors to do the same.

Over the years more and more traditional medical doctors are learning about the health benefits that can be had from simple changes in eating or the benefits of nutritional supplementation. It’s not like it was ten to twenty years ago. In fact, some of the products I helped develop were researched with medical doctors who had a keen interest in the subject. This is a hopeful trend. Many are beginning to see the light and are moving more and more towards holistic medical practice rather than a strict drug and surgery based approach.

Another thing to point out about the above mentioned studies is this: they were testing “vitamins”. What they don’t bother to mention is that most of the nutritional supplements that are on the market today are NOT vitamins. What they were testing were things like vitamins A, C, D, B vitamins, etc. They’re right in that most people don’t necessarily need these vitamins if they eat even an adequate diet. But they fail to mention that the most popular supplements in the world today, the ones that are all the rage for optimum health and anti-aging, are not vitamins per se. Instead they are very advanced lab created nutritional supplements and phytonutrients. Things like Essential Fatty Acids or Resveratrol or CoQ10. Alpha Lipoic Acid. AKG-L-Arginine. Various herbs that have been modified to only contain the most active constituents. These were not what they were testing in their so-called studies. Instead they were just testing the old basic vitamins, the kind that were popular back in the seventies. The kind that no one takes anymore.

Turns out they were actually testing “multi-vitamins”. Who in their right mind who knows a lot about health and wellness takes a multi-vitamin these days? It was silly kids stuff, these studies. A bait and switch game in an attempt to try to discredit what is turning into a very profitable industry. One that they desperately want in on. (Nearly every giant pharmaceutical company also happens to own a smaller vitamin manufacturing subsidiary with their own line of nutritional supplements that they try to sell to doctors. Again, it’s funny because it’s so contradictory.) Discredit nutritional supplements but at the same time manufacture them to sell to doctors just in case.

If I hadn’t experienced such miraculous results from using nutritional supplements over the years, I wouldn’t know about or believe in their myriad benefits. But I have. And I do. I boosted my IQ, measurably so, by almost 30 points. This was back in ’96. Just for the pure hell of it. Because I wanted to. I wanted super human intelligence. So I started on a smart-nutrient protocol and scheduled two IQ tests with a psychiatrist. One before I began the protocol and one six months later. I was pissed that I didn’t nail 160. The psychiatrist thought I was insane for not being satisfied with 158. But like I said, I was shooting for the moon. Going for superhero type stuff. Which I believe is entirely possible with the right mix and the right kind of nutritional supplements.

My current doctor (who is a naturopathic doctor, not a traditional allopathic doctor) is still scratching her head trying to figure out how I was able to lower my cholesterol by 250 points in six months using only nutritional supplements. To me there’s no mystery. It’s simple science. Anyone can do it. What really puzzles me is how the hell I allowed my cholesterol to get so high in the first place. Number one I was just being lazy. I had let myself slip a little over the last few years. I must confess I have a real weakness for red meat and certain dairy products like butter and cheese. Combined with the fact that it’s hereditary… I was doomed. It’s a trade off I supposed. Luckily I know how to combat the ill effects of these passions pretty easily. Now my cholesterol is back down to normal. And I didn’t have to change a thing in my diet. I just needed to augment it with the right nutrients.

Speaking of cholesterol, dinner has been served. So I’m off. More later. Check out this article on the studies that led to all this nonsense and you’ll see for yourself how full of holes the studies were. But let me leave you with this. There are plenty of “bad” supplements on the market today. The industry has grown tremendously over the last thirty years. Not many are reputable. Many are in it simply to make money. No different than any other business venture. And they’re more than happy to take your money regardless of whether you benefit or not from their magic pills. You have to know which brands are good and which are not. There is also the fact that one can easily take too much of certain nutrients and that can be harmful. They may be from nature and even all natural. But hey so is poison ivy. Research is imperative if you’re going to begin taking nutritional supplements on a regular basis. And less is usually plenty. Lucky for you, I have lately started to get a hankering to enter that industry again. In a very creative and what I hope to be helpful way. More on that later. In the meantime, be careful. Do your research. See a naturopath. They have a very solid background in nutritional supplementation and wellness. But for God’s sake don’t be fooled by this latest editorial by the medical establishment. Take your supplements. You too could be superhero like in no time.


The Evolution of Organics

There was a time when deciding to eat all organic drew a deep line in the sand between you and the small group you hung out with and “everyone else”. For the last 20 years we’ve talked about this more than a lot. They watch TV, listen to Top 40 radio, follow sports, believe they’re either a Democrat or a Republican, and shop at regular grocery stores. They’ve never tripped on LSD or any hallucinogens for that matter. They don’t see a problem with marijuana being illegal but they “get together to have drinks” a few times a week. They don’t know who Ram Dass is, but know and love Oprah. They think Avatar is a movie. They doubt “taking vitamins” really does anything and they aren’t sold on why they need to eat only organic food. They think that because their doctor told them to do something that it makes it okay.

Every now and then we come into contact with these people. We have to on occasion. They find out that you “fast” or “juice” or “take vitamins” and they might say something like “I’ve always wanted to know more about “living more organically” and taking vitamins and all that….” They have organic food confused with taking nutritional supplements and they call all nutritional supplements “vitamins”, even though health conscious people barely take any actual “vitamins” because we get them from our food. But that’s the term that’s stuck in their head. But you do your best to answer their questions with respect and the open heart and honest eyes of a child so as not to offend and truly serve in that moment.

But things change. The lines are starting to blur. We’ve grown. We’ve all grown. We never used to shop at “regular grocery stores”. Only “they” did. But a funny thing happened. Just as the big chain health food stores started slowly taking over the market from smaller mom and pop health food stores, so too did the products they carry start to become less and less health conscious and more and more profit conscious. Most of them are publicly traded now. So you can just as easily find a non-organic product on their shelves as you can an organic one. Ironically at the same time, big chain “regular grocery stores” started carrying organic products in addition to regular people food. It started first with eggs, then cream, then almond milk and soy milk started being added. Now depending on what city you live in you might be able to shop at a so called regular grocery store and be able to find just about everything you want organic.

This is a huge change. For people who have only recently started eating only organic food in the last few years, it may not fly right over their heads. But for those who have been eating organic for a decade or more, it’s a downright astounding transformation in society. Princess Little Tree loves shopping at a place called Trade Joes. From what I gather, because I don’t do grocery shopping and hence don’t know much about it, Trader Joes is kind of a cross between a health food store and a gourmet store. You certainly won’t find any GMO food there. Labeling unnecessary. And you won’t have a problem walking out with a full cart of organic food. But the other day I accompanied Little Tree to a regular grocery store on our way home from somewhere; where I don’t remember. Yes even the best of us may pick up a few things there once in a while. What amazed me is just how MANY organic foods the story carried. Entire aisles full. It was a completely different experience than a mere few years ago. (Granted I cannot accurately guarantee when the last time I was actually in a grocery store, but still…)

At the check out counter there was a ragtag little flyer hanging up on the register that announced a lecture they were having this weekend to help explain “Organics”. I was amazed. SO much so that I snapped a picture of it. Frankly it gave me hope. Things do seem at times totally screwed and insane here now, it’s true. This isn’t the world of even ten years ago. The world has lost its mind. But for every crazy moment in our linear lives, for every mad shooter and bomber, for every lying politician full of greed and deceit, there seems to be some other remarkable moment of evolution that can give us hope that things just may be improving along the way as well. That’s how I took this little sign about the over 300 different organic foods that this regular big-box mom and pop grocery store now carries. A sort of sign of evolution.

On another note, related, the entire time we shopped, we used this app we’ve downloaded on our iPhones called Buycott. You simply hold your phone over the barcode of anything you want to purchase and in a second or two it tells you whether it has any GMO products in it or if it is owned by a company who makes GMO foods or has ever supported the “non labeling of GMO foods” bill. It was amazing. Even more impactful in the long run probably is the fact that with the touch of a button you can then SHARE what you discover with all your friends on the social network of your choice. I have a feeling this will compel a lot of these big food manufacturers to stop the GMO bullshit faster than any protests on the steps of the Capital Building will at this point. It’s a brilliant app. Download it on the iTunes app store when you can.

James Gandolfini and the 8 Foods We Eat in America That Are Banned in Other Countries

The news that Sopranos actor James Gandolfini had died on Wednesday hit most Americans with at least a little surprise. Death does that. It’s so permanent. As sad as the event is to some, if not everyone, (especially those close to the man one assumes), there was an odd sense of something uncannily not surprising about it.

(I only met Gandolfini once. We shared a pleasant three hours together with a few other guys smoking cigars in Midtown Manhattan a few years ago. Though I would not classify us as being close, he was as nice a chap as anyone else you’d want to hang out with.) Wednesday’s news could have been about anyone. In fact it was. James Gandolfini was after all just another one of the many thousands of people who die everyday. And lest we forget, approximately every four seconds someone on planet earth dies from hunger or thirst alone; in addition to all the people who pass on from accidents or natural causes.

The only reason this event received more attention than the ten to fifteen souls who died in the last sixty seconds while I was writing this will is because of America’s insanely hard to rationalize obsession with Hollywood celebrities. There’s no logic in it. No anthropological undercurrent of genetic or survival instincts at play. It’s just a very strange disorder of priorities, most likely created by the evolution of American society into a thrill, luxury and pleasure seeking society as opposed to a day to day survival based one.

As I expressed through various social media a few moments after we heard the news, the biggest take away from Gandolfini’s death — besides the obvious empathy for his family, is just how young he was. Because life expectancy continues to increase as knowledge of health and wellness information expands and technology advances, 51 years today is what 31 used to be. Most men aren’t even peaking in life yet in many Western and even Asian cultures. It’s a terribly young age to die, as in the forever kind of death. In this regard its shocking and more than sad. Though for those who knew Gandolfini even from a distance it wasn’t the craziest thing ever heard. He certainly didn’t look 51. Personally I thought he was closer to 65. Not that that would be any less disturbing. 65 may have been a ripe old age to die once upon a time but these days it seems just plain tragic. The man did appear to be much older than he was and he certainly didn’t appear to be healthy or even health conscious or concerned.

This got me to thinking about what a strange place the United States is in regards to our beloved capitalism and our health. On the one hand we pride ourselves on possessing one of the most liberal free markets in the world today, i.e. very few rules laws and regulations and thus an easy environment to make a ton of money in fast. On the other hand this has led us to simultaneously have one of the most inhumane and criminal set of circumstances and practices related to the public health. America is one of the only “civilized” or “first world” countries in the world where people can still be notoriously dishonest with each other to the point of killing each other in the name of making money. Whether it’s poison food or deadly drugs and so-called medicines or environmental toxins in our air and water, it ain’t hard to get away with committing alarmingly egregious acts in the name of business and free enterprise.

I’ve said it before but it’s worth repeating. There is no way the average person in America could grow up here and raise a family and know how to live a healthy lifestyle unless they actually do a ton of research on their own and are willing to almost entirely buck the system and go against the status quo. If you just live your life doing what everyone else does or what you see illustrated in the mainstream or recommended by the medical establishment you’re bound to get sick and die of unnatural causes. This is primarily due to the legal bribery and blackmail system that governs and controls the United States White House and Congress; they call it “lobbying”. 99% of Americans don’t even realize this is how the government works (or doesn’t work better put), so they don’t understand that there is a problem to fix. They assume everything is okay, safe, secure, been set up already, and all they have to do is follow the rules and they’ll be fine. Little do we all know.

Only in America can you manufacture and sell poison food and get away with it while being fully aware that 1 out of 3 people will get cancer but be fine with it because “everybody does it.” Below is an interesting article on 8 poisonous foods that Americans consume daily but are banned in other countries. You can see the list by clicking here.
And this list though shocking is actually pretty slim compared to the reality. It just touches the surface. Americans are so accustomed with the notion that most people get cancer and heart disease and Alzheimer’s that they take it for granted. They seem to believe that these diseases are “natural causes”. It would be funny if it weren’t so sad.

There’s more. Much more. Because the practice extends way beyond our food. It’s the environment. The air. The water. Over the counter medicines and toiletries. Prescription medications. Doctors and the health care system. Everywhere you look you see blatant causes of America’s leading causes of illness, premature aging and untimely death. And though there is common knowledge about these facts within the industries that produce these goods and provide these practices and within the government, the knowledge is not shared with the people because it would limit the amount of money that tens of thousands of American companies could generate unless they changed their business procedures and practices or their entire business model.

This would hurt the economy we are told. We have always been told this since the invention of invention and commerce. It’s the oldest excuse in the world. And yet it is firmly held belief by many. A rallying cry of big and little business across the board. Fluoride is a great example. Cows milk is another. On and on. So for now, as things stand, each and every person in the States needs to look out for their own health and wellness and yet of their family. No federal agency or sitting president or mainstream media outlet or medical doctor is going to advise us to not grill meat because it causes cancer or not drink diet soda because it has been proven to make one MORE obese and cause brain tumors. This is all information one has to find out for themselves. It’s unfortunate for the James Gandolfinis of the world. Whether they’re famous actors or just good old fashioned regular folk.

One Battle Out of Many Abated

It’s 3:30 am. Slightly more than the usual insomnia. [Note: One conflicting aspect of the Personal Expression Age in regards to social media is the tendency and temptation for us to head for the immediate gratification of posting to a public site such as Facebook or Tumblr rather than our own blog or website, which is obviously a more permanent, and financially lucrative, place to sit one’s deepest innermost thoughts and feelings. It’s a phenomenon that I’ve just recently been observing, having noticed that over the last four years — since the advent of social media gone mainstream — there is direct correlation between how little I post to these Diaries on a regular basis now, compared to the seven years prior, and how much more time I dedicate to being actively engaged on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Tumblr. This is something we should explore in more detail later….]

So rather than “writing” — that sacred act once studied and revered of sitting down to participate in the art and craft of honing one’s ideas with the written word into something potentially coherent, permanent and hopefully even beautiful and admired for all the world to see for an eternity, something that I’d made a daily habit out of for more than twenty-five years, I opted instead for the more ephemeral and much simpler and easier (though perhaps more immediately gratifying) act of a lazy status update on Facebook. This is a trend, perhaps even a habit now, that I fully intend to break in this new year. The point was a simple yet major one. A very recent and profound victory over and breakthrough in my battle with ADD.

[I do believe in sharing, that it’s important to “share”, which is one of the primary benefits of the Age of Personal Expression, this new loving embrace for public sharing…. but for artists a balance must still be found between the two: this temptation to share instantly through social media, and the more tasteful and permanent art of writing. One cannot suddenly abandon one’s occupation of the art and craft of fine writing and letters and replace it with social media posts that are not only inherently temporary but also obligated by necessity to be limited in scope and depth just because it happens to be easier and more instantly gratifying. Unless of course they want to and choose to. That’s their choice. I know many a fine writer who has drifted off into these uncharted shallow rocks never to be heard from again except in little blurps and bleeps on Facebook or Twitter, their wit and wisdom once preserved for the ages now reduced to mere one or two sentence anecdotes, sarcastic comments or the occasional angry rant. As a fan of fine writing I’ve found the trend to be saddening. …

Nonetheless, last night at least, I caved once more. There is something very appealing about that instant read that one feels they receive when posting to a social network that now feels lost even when posting to a popular blog, which theoretically and realistically is just as public as any social network. The irony is that feeling is the same feeling we used to get when we first started posting here over ten years ago. There were no social networks. So the idea of posting one’s innermost secrets online in general — knowing that within minutes or hours others would be reading them, was completely enticing, exciting and exhilarating. Just as posting to a social network like Facebook is today. And with instant links and feeds from one’s blog to every social network out there available, there really is no reason why we should feel so torn and tempted. Perhaps it’s the instantaneous part of it that is so tempting. Or perhaps it’s the more engaging aspect of it…. Depending on what one posts, one can literally almost guarantee themselves some kind of response if that’s what they’re after. Frankly my honest appraisal of this strange phenomenon is that it just comes down to pure laziness. Status updates on social networks are like blowing bubbles. Here now, gone tomorrow. Or like thoughts never revealed in our roaming mind… Here. Gone. What? So there exists no need to perfect them or hone them in. The growing trend in communication amongst ourselves as a society is to focus far less on how we say things and rather just on getting them out, regardless of merit, form or function. This may not necessarily be a good thing. Let’s end this train of thought now and venture out toward the open sea where we originally were headed.]

Where were we? Insomnia. Yes. In case that wasn’t already obvious. But perhaps this time of day or night is best for this type of post. For any other ADD/ADHD folk out there, I am happy and relieved to report that after decades of struggling, maddening frustration and trying everything out there and then some (including brain mapping and even low frequency electromagnetic brain zapping therapy) I believe we’ve finally found something that actually works. Lo and behold it turned out to be the oldest, most obvious and commonly used treatment. Just took a while to get the nerve to try it. Anyone else out there still challenged by it, just know that it is real, it’s not in your imagination, you’re not crazy, it is indeed physical /chemical /biological and not just “all in your mind” as many people try to get you to believe; AND better still there may be a chance there’s a solution out there for you out of the many that are becoming available. Keep trying. Don’t give up. Believe in yourself. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. -Fishy

And thus was the post. Which yielded a string of inquiries as to just what treatment was I referring to specifically. It wasn’t something I had planned on revealing publicly truth be told. But if the sharing aspect of the Personal Expression Age cannot be fully expressed and utilised as we originally predicted it would be to yield full-on democratic revolutions of entire nation-states then it really doesn’t hold much value at all. So privacy be damned we must at least attempt to embrace this growing trend honestly openly enthusiastically and wholeheartedly. So I replied.

OK peeps, I wasn’t going to actually mention what was working for me personally, because I think it’s such a physically personal thing, dependent on each individual’s own biology, that I don’t necessarily think what works for one person is guaranteed to work for another. Plus, there is so much controversy regarding meds for this condition, especially certain ones. But for me, it was Ritalin. But only 5mg doses. What they call “a children’s dose”. Old school. It’s only been a week, but the difference has been intensely noticeable. First recommended by doctors when I was diagnosed at 4, my parents absolutely refused to put me on it. And ever since I’ve tried every other med and therapy that exists in my refusal to try that one. What changed? A close family member, Beaver actually, I found out was going through the same exact search attempting to deal with the same symptoms. Granted he had never been diagnosed with ADD when we were children, but after relaying a series of symptoms to his doctor it was suggested that he take the standard ADHD written test and sure enough he scored something like an 87 out of 100 on it. Damn close to my 93. [Being an avid and proud skeptic, not only did I insist on taking the test several times in different versions, I also demanded that my wife and several other friends and family members take it as well to see if “everyone” would have the same score if given the same test. I was quite surprised to see that after taking the test on two different occasions, Princess Little Tree scored less than 10 both times. This strange fact helped verify for us that perhaps there was some validity to the test after all and it wasn’t just an over generalisation trap where all who took it would appear to have this popular new dis-ease.]

After a year of trying everything under the sun Beav’s doctor finally said “we could always go old school and try a children’s dose of Ritalin.” His desperate reply, “Well it can’t be worse than all the other things we’ve tried… fine.” After a few months of surprised success and regular use he suddenly remembered ME, thank you (what took you so long?), and realised “Holy crap I have to tell Fishy about this! He has this a lot worse than I do! I wonder if he’s ever tried this one.” I resisted at first, knowing all about it, what it is, what it does, knowing that like most other amphetimines it could make me pass out in ten minutes OR worse cause me massive anxiety…

(Though we’ve still not discovered the genetic abnormality nor even the chemical problem in the human brain of those with ADHD, one very strange characteristic of those who are challenged with it is that speed for lack of a better word, or stimulants of any kind, work in the reverse on them. Thus coffee or tea or diet pills or amphetamines of any kind will usually make someone with ADHD feel sleepy rather than wired. And sure enough any sort of downers such as barbiturates or tranquillisers will make an ADHD person feel more alert, talkative and motivated. I have personally suffered but also benefited from this weird reality since I can remember. If I drink a cup of tea I fall asleep. If I drink a cup of coffee I begin to yawn and feel tired. If i take a valium I feel like I just took speed. It’s crazy weird. But after a few years of dealing with it, one starts getting the hang of how to use it to one’s advantage or else I assume one would just off themselves. Because frankly it’s a terribly confusing and frustrating way to live. If you’ve ever noticed this about yourself there’s a good chance you’ve got either ADD or ADHD and it just hasn’t been diagnosed yet. Now you know.)

Regardless of all this, I have still always resisted taking uppers of any kind. But Beaver sounded so encouraged and relieved from the agonising ADD symptoms he was experiencing that I just decided I had to try it. For the last few years especially, life has been more than challenging. It’s been downright excruciating. I usually refrain from talking or writing about it publicly because number one it’s extremely personal, and number two I don’t wish to influence people in any way one way or another toward believing anything limiting about themselves. But yes if I was to be totally open and brutally honest with the world about this subject, I would admit that I took pain killers for years on a daily basis starting at the age of around 16 in order to manage my attention in order to just do the normal things in life that everyone else seems to have no problem with. This eventually led to a nearly fatal mental and physical breakdown in 2008 that was officially dubbed “exhaustion” to the public and I ended up in a rehab and then my parents’ home to slowly detox and rebuild my health.

The only problem was that I was then faced with having to deal with living daily life with a severely screwed up brain and nervous system (that’s in essence how ADHD feels) without pain killers, and as any doctor or patient will attest, nothing treats ADHD better than opiates. That particular combination of chemicals known as opioids just happens to work the best for people who struggle with the host of symptoms lodged under the ADHD mantle. Late 2008 early 2009 was the worst six months of my life. I was happy to not be always on the chase for pills, but the truth is that in this day and age with online pharmacies so prevalent it was never really a hassle finding or buying them. So it wasn’t like I ever labeled myself an addict. And strangely enough neither did any of the doctors who began treating me. They instead said that I was one of those rare cases of someone who lucked into finding the exact drug that worked best for what they had and I was self medicating with it. It just happened to be illegal to self medicate your ADHD with pain killers. At least now it is. This I predict, and so do many professionals in the psychiatric industry, is going to change sooner than later. There is after all a reason why so many tens of millions of people reach for pain killers and once found find themselves more adept, more efficient, more functional and more productive with even small doses.

There are details to the story that should stay private. For now. Let us agree that it is challenging to wake up one day and realise that the rest of your life you are going to spend with your chest on fire with anxiety, that you can’t focus your attention on anything for more than a second or two, that you are unable to finish anything that you start, that you feel a constant state of fear inside you that literally stings, so much so that you find it excruciating to do the simplest things like go out socially or even answer the phone, let alone have a job or take a shower, that you have a supernatural long term memory but you cannot remember why you entered a room or picked up your phone or a notebook, that you never know what day it is or what the date is, you don’t know your age or anyone’s age for that matter because there’s “that thing with numbers….” Worst of all, you’re always in pain. Life. Just. Seems. And feels. Unbearably painful. At least in the mind and body you are in. And God knows you’ve tried everything that exists or has ever existed on planet earth or anywhere else in the known universe to help or heal, but so far nothing has.

For me now it’s been more than four years of regular visits to psychiatrists, psychologists, doctors, naturopaths, chiropractors, specialists, healers, gurus, psychics, mediums, soul readers, you name it. If it exists we’ve tried it. All in our quest to “find out how to fix Fishy.” Princess Little Tree often recounts how crazy, courageous and resilient I am all at the same time because I often appear more like a lab rat than a human in just the sheer amount of medications that have been shoved into my body over the last four years in our attempt to help find a solution. Doctors have been stymied but vigilant. And slowly we’ve found some even ground to rest on. Things have gotten increasingly better. Though I do long to help others, and I think most people would attest to agreeing with that statement, the exact combination of medications that they now use to treat my specific condition I would prefer to keep private except for what’s already been mentioned. It’s been a long and very hard road. Not just for me but for the entire family. I believe Princess Little Tree has probably suffered the most second only to me. She had no idea when we got engaged that it would be this difficult. Frankly neither did I. But that’s the negative spin. The positive spin is that it appears at least this week that we’ve turned a new corner and won a major victory here.

After hearing from Beav regarding his success with Ritalin, I talked to my doctor in New York and he was like “Hey, you’re talking about a very small nearly negligible dose there… It’s less than what we would usually give children. And you usually fall asleep with medications like that. Or they exacerbate your anxiety. But at this point I don’t know what else to do for you and I know you’re struggling bad right now Fishy. I’m willing to try it if you are.” So we did. Worry Fear Anxiety Nervousness all preceded that first morning about one week ago. “Here we go,” my wife’s and my own eyes said to one another as I took the first dose on the first morning, ready for the worst. What would it be this time? A freakout? A massive anxiety attack? I pass out for hours with her hovering over me checking to see if I’m still breathing? An emergency 911 call, paramedics gathered around my bed while I lay there with my hand on my chest gasping for air? All possibilities and former experiences since this adventure first began four years ago.

But instead I felt intensely focused, motivated, energised and in control of my attention for the first time since I used to use Vicodin for the same purpose. After a 30 year battle, including years of self-medicating with both natural and unnatural, legal and illegal substances, ingesting things, not ingesting things, fasting, cleansing, vegan, non-vegan, and every spiritual religious pseudo-spiritual new age practice or self help course ever invented for spies like us I finally know what it’s like to actually feel focused and not totally freaking distracted and unable to control my mind for more than two seconds. I’ve worked harder and smarter in the last five days than I have in years. The caveat: Ritalin IS speed. There’s no getting around that reality. There are side effects. Like last night’s insomnia. (I took my second dose too late in the day.) AND you are going to encounter the usual cadre of well-meaning but ignorant know-it-alls who for some reason misperceive that you’ve solicited their advice as they recount how unhealthy it is and how easy it would be for you to go au natural etc.

But the real message of this ramble is this: Only YOU know YOU and what you’ve been through. And only YOU know what’s worked for you and what hasn’t. It’s really nobody else’s business. And if they are all up on your shit for feeling better, it’s most likely they who need some healing of their own. God only knows you’ve already tried anything and everything they’ll good-naturedly offer you. I moved the majority of this post to the Transcendence Diaries in order to add more details and finish this just for the sake of privacy. Today I have tried to share more openly than I ever have before regarding my own personal experiences with these things, for I know how frustrating it can be for others after years of struggling with it myself. What has worked for me may not necessarily work for someone else. But it just might. You never know till you try. For now, I’m quite surprised that we found something that seems to help. It’s one battle out of many that we are currently facing for some reason slightly ameliorated for the time being. And that’s a damn good thing.

Motion Sickness

Dear Kristen,
Sorry to hear about your little one’s motion sickness. I have NO idea how on earth you heard that I have it — talk about the end of privacy in the modern age! — but you’re right. I do. And no, I don’t mind taking a few minutes to share how we handle it. You are right, I am someone who travels a lot. And that makes it all the worse. But there are ways to treat it. Like your two year old son, I have suffered from motion sickness since i was a baby. At first my parents thought that i had contracted some sort of flu, until a doctor recognized that it was probably just motion sickness. Decades later I am still “dealing” with it.
Hyland’s Motion Sickness tablets as you mentioned are slightly helpful. But being a homeopathic product, and therefore very “subtle” on the bio-system — they are probably just not strong enough for your little one compared to how severe his motion sickness is. I use that product regularly — whenever traveling (even in cars, but also planes trains and subways (forget about boats — I cannot get near them) and it does seem to make a difference.
It may be in my head, haha!, but it seems to help. BUT… i must add that it is in addition to taking half a tablet of non-drowsy formula Dramamine (the ingredient is called meclizine hcl, 50 mgs and you can get the generic version of it much less expensively than the name brand Dramamine). I buy them from in bottles of 100, usually three bottles at a time. I basically live on the stuff in order to not feel dizzy. Sucks. But it’s just the way it has been for me since I can remember.

      I usually do not require the full strength Dramamine anymore. The non-drowsy formula does just fine for me. I will take a half of one an hour before traveling (letting it dissolve under my tongue for better absorption, because they’re chewable) and another half about 30 minutes before traveling. They almost always do the trick. I believe the Hyland’s also just helps in some way. Seems to anyway. Regarding other medications, I have tried them all. I was on Scoplomine for a long time, and quite honestly I would never give that to a child. In fact, I would never even give it to me again. I found the side effects much to severe and frankly I am not even sure it wasn’t making matters worse. It makes your vision so blurry that you cannot even read after a few days on it. Horrible stuff. I would say the same applies for all the other meds out there for it.

I will assume that you know all the rules and tips and tricks to battle motion sickness since your child has it, but just in case I will list a few here. The sea-bands they sell (including expensive watches now) that are supposed to work on your meridian pulse points I have never found to be very effective for me personally. Although I know people who swear by them. Make sure your son is always sitting in the front seat. Difficult for a 2 year old I know, but it makes a HUGE difference. The back seat is horrible for someone with motion sickness. I’m not sure if it’s illegal where you live; I assume it is in most States. But the less he’s in that back seat the better.
Obviously make sure he never reads, watches TV, or uses a game or cell phone while in the car. That’s just asking for it. And that he always looks straight ahead, out the window when you are driving. Really makes a difference. We also always keep salty crackers in the car. Just in case one of us starts feeling a bit dizzy. For whatever reason, a few crackers (with some sodium content — low-sodium crackers never seem to do anything) really help take the dizziness away and prevent it from getting worse — as in elevating to nausea. Having a carbonated beverage on hand such as Sprite really helps too. But (and this might be obvious if you are health conscious already) avoiding all caffeinated drinks while traveling also really helps. For whatever reason, caffeine tends to make motion sickness worse. Coca Cola or Pepsi for instance are killers when it comes to increasing dizziness. Yes I have heard about people using ginger. But frankly when one has motion sickness really bad, that’s just not going to touch it compared to Dramamine.
They say motion sickness is usually inner-ear related and is genetic and hereditary, and thus there is nothing that can be done for it. I’m third generation at least, maybe longer. At least one person in every generation of our family has it. I have seen specialists all over the world for it and participated in countless tests and experiments and so far have never found any that have been able to offer any tips better than these. Dramamine seems to be our best defense.That and lots of rest. For some reason I find that if I am tired or sleepy before traveling it tends to potentate it.
Regarding sleeping in the car or bus or wherever, I find that it’s usually the best method of relief once it comes on. Or to prevent it from coming on. So a homeopathic calming tablet or two is also good for that. Just to relieve the anxiety that comes with knowing you might get motion sick when entering a moving vehicle. Sometimes I think the anxiety of worrying about getting it actually causes it. (go figure… ha!) But I’ve had plenty of experiences where I wasn’t even thinking about it and it still came on. First the dizziness, then the sweating… and well, you know. Best thing you can do is always remember that even though YOU aren’t susceptible to it or feeling it in the moment, it doesn’t mean that your son isn’t. Many try to “suffer through it” because it feels so ridiculous and can easily ruin a good time with family and friends. But it’s a very real dis-ease. Love understanding and compassion from others work wonders.  And PS — some people actually grow out of it they say. Let us hope that’s the case with your son.

Herbs and Nutrients for men’s sexual health

For the record (skip this if you are easily offended by such content) I began experimenting with herbs and nutrients aimed specifically for men, or for men’s sexual health. And for sexual health and libido in general. Don’t ask me why, because I’m too young to need them that’s for sure but I was just curious and wanted to check the whole thing out and see what I could experience out of it.

Found the following: muira puama, catuaba, maca, nettles, tribulus, damiana, Arginine, gotu kola, ginseng, magnesium.

These are the most favored herbs and nutrients and vitamins for this and all have various different effects and reasons for their usage and benefits. I was most interested in libido enhancing and ability to increase erection duration and frequency. Again, no reason and no need but just wanted to see what the effects were. Perhaps I could get ten erections in a day instead of five… lol! that type of thing. again, crazy and probably superfluous to say the least.

Being an extremist I just started to take them all at once throughout the day just to see what happened. The prob is that some of them increase testosterone and that is how they help men. The prob for me is that I don’t need any more testosterone and there is a good chance it could lower my singing range/voice pretty quickly. Which did happen. you can tell when they are working because your voice lowers and you feel more rage and confidence and manliness, for lack of a better word. You feel stronger and your muscles feel tighter. You feel more energy and anger easily. You also do notice more erections. Which isn’t necessarily a good thing if you already are pretty regular and don’t plan on having sex ten times a day. but I was impressed that they work so quickly.

I also noticed that the size of the old boy increased measurably. I wouldn’t want to run into that in a dark alley one night. it was and still is a sight to behold. Although possessing it requires wearing larger pants unfortunately. Presently in the running for the eighth wonder of the world from what I hear. The problem though is that my ability to ejaculate went down noticeably. Yes frequency of erections were increased. Yes the size increased. Yes the duration of erections was measurably increased. But that’s not necessarily a good thing. I found it much more difficult to ejaculate. In all frankness, skip this if its not your thing or you are squeamish, I have found that I can just go for as long as one would ever want to and still not ejaculate. I’m talking an hour or more. totally erect. Even to the point of just plain boredom or pain due to going so long. Some girls’ dream. Other girls’ nightmare. Depending on the girl and the situation I would guess. frankly, I have not found this to be a good benefit. Kind of a pain in the ass. or rather, a pain in the penis.

Recommendation, if you don’t need it, don’t mess with it. if its not broke don’t fix it. but at least now I know that in thirty or forty years that if the need ever arises that this stuff is out there and works. try at your own risk. don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Last screening: the quiet American with Michael caine. Good movie.

Current read: the Methodist way, history of the Methodists.

Current spin: paloalto, a good Britpop band from America.

Still in awe over the church experience

Still in awe over that church experience.

There is this antibiotic that the doctor has me on called leviquin. This is the fourth night in the row I have experienced this. it is now 3:21 am and I am wide awake. If you take it before bed you will at some point become aware during your sleep that you are sleeping and dreaming. It is a restless sleep to say the least, but filled with very vivid dreams, more like hallucinations. Filled with wild imagery and color. I have gotten two beautiful songs out of this drug so far, both while sleeping/dreaming. In the last dream I was just having I was dancing through a field with this young boy and Trophy wife, the singer. and we were in this imaginary world like hr puff and stuff or pee wee herman or neverland. All these rivers and tress and butterflies and we were just singing this gorgeous song together that we were making up as we went along. Finally I just thought this is enough, I’m going to wake up and record this song into a tape recorder. This is to good not to get down. So I snapped myself out of the dream and recorded some and now I’m just sitting here writing because my brain is moving so fast. it feels like speed. I cannot believe they release this stuff onto the market and just dish it out to regular unsuspecting people who trust whatever their doctor says. [and here’s the thing, I only take one half at a time because I’m just that way. more people die in America every year from legally prescribed prescription drugs than any other preventable cause. It’s the number one cause of death in America. I forget the number but its ridiculous. Like you hear it and you can’t believe it. so I always take really small doses of everything. I couldn’t imagine if I were taking whole tablets. I’d be jumping off the walls. But it has cured my ear ache pretty fast.]

Another side effect is this itching. My whole body itches. And this sucks. But it is worth this hallucinatory effect to be sure. My mind feels on fire almost. I would almost call it anxiety but I kind of like it, so I don’t mind waking up like this in the middle of the night to type or think or sing for an hour or two. If I did, I’d be hating life. but just what it does to the mind is so freaky and refreshing and exciting, I’m kind of welcoming the million miles an hour rapid thoughts. One caveat: this drug cost $368 for the bottle so this isn’t a cheap high, but worth it if you can get just a few. Also, its an anti-biotic, so its not the healthiest thing to be taking recreationally. If you’re up for it though and into mind exploration, this would be one to try. and I’m talking about purely scientific purposes here of course. if you’re into psychotropic drug research. I would almost classify this as a nootropic because the ideas fly out so fast.

Something I had come to understand tonight. about the whole girls saga that I write about endlessly. Quick before I lose my nerve to set it to paper. the thing is this. if you meet someone and they aren’t the someone, meaning you may have this great chemistry with them and be moderately attracted to them, but you aren’t head over heels with them, then of course yes the natural tendency is to want to hang with them. of course. so in me, that desire, its natural. Its not wrong. and all this time I had been making myself wrong for wanting to date all these girls who weren’t ‘the one.’ so for a long time now I haven’t been allowing myself to do it at all. but here’s the catch. If you already know they’re not the one. if you already feel that. that you’re not going to or not capable of or not going to be desirous of having a mid to long term affair with them, but just kind of in it because its moderately amusing or they are intellectually stimulating or you have fun with them, then you have to tell them from the beginning. You can’t just be dating them and playing along for your own selfish reasons because they’re fun in the moment. because to them you might be someone they really like. And its easy to use that to your advantage. But you can’t. you see its like if you meet the woman of your dreams and she introduces you to all these guys she went out with who you kind of say to yourself ‘well how the hell did you go out with him?’ its like that. we as men have to have the same kind of discrepancy that we expect girls to have. which normally we don’t. we just go out with whatever girl we can so we can shag them. because after all that’s our natural instinct, to do as many girls as possible. But we all know what happens after we bag a babe. Normally we lose interest pretty quickly. And that sucks for that girl and then it sucks for us because we feel guilty. And then we lose them as a friend. so the thing is about being real. Its about being real with ourselves and with the girl. Wow. that’s some heavy shit. I just never saw it through to its conclusion like that. I think this may have something to do with being a man. with being a gentleman. I think it may even be something like you can in the end actually date the girls because you may really enjoy certain things about them, but you just need to be totally upfront with them and let them know from the start that you’re friends. Kind of like girls do with us. you know how they do that? I know, it sucks. But they have that capacity. And we usually don’t. we’ll just lead any girl on just so we can sleep with them. but again, I think we have to start taking that attribute of women and applying it ourselves.  There will be a lot less conflict and battle of the sexes going on if we’re upfront like that.

Last screening: frank Lloyd Wright biography by ken burns. Wow, what a crazy one. inspiring though disconcerting. Let us hope that it is possible to achieve the same level of genius without the same degree of dishonesty and creepiness.

Killer ear ache the last few days

Killer ear ache the last few days. this is my second one in six months. I know what its from. its because I don’t have a housekeeper now and I take baths. I have always taken baths. My new image consultant or image coach more like it, what did we call him again? JB? Yeah, JB I think. he’s always trying to get me to discover more of my quirks because he says it makes great press. Of course you need great press if you are a somebody, but I’ve made a career of being a not-somebody so I have no idea why we are worrying about great press. But in any case, JB tells me, there’s another quirk for you. I have always taken baths. There was a brief time in high school when I thought it was cool and grownup to take showers so I did it for a while because it was all about discovering the inner-man within and bagging the babes, but by college I was back in the tub every morning.

So did that freak any of my girlfriends out through the years? yeah I think it did. a grown man jumping out of bed to go sit in the bathtub for an hour every morning. but now everyone is used to it because well I’m an adult now and I think everyone has just pretty much assumed ‘yeah, well Fishy takes baths. He just does. He’s always done that.’ when at home for the holidays mom always wakes me up early so I don’t make everyone late because of the bath factor. Classic.

[I just heard a girl on the street say what the fuck. I hate when girls curse. I know. totally sexist. But I can’t help it. I’m old fashioned. if I hear a girl curse I just totally lose my interest in them. if a girl says fuck because she’s really mad that’s one thing, as long as its cute.. you know. like “honey you just said fuck.” And then she apologizes. But if you’re at dinner with a girl and she says fuck matter of factly… Forget about it. I’m looking at her wondering how I ever managed to be at a dinner table with her. I’m not saying I wouldn’t sleep with them. but I just wouldn’t go out with them. you know, girls should offer you that girl thing. and saying fuck is not just not that girl thing. speaking of girls, today some girl comes into my office and slaps all these naked photos of her in all these erotic poses on my desk and walks away. I’ll tell you, ever since I decided to stop being player and hold out for number one the girls are just coming out of the woodwork. Its nuts. I think girls can feel when you’re not playing anymore. They try to get through that maybe because they see as a challenge. Or maybe just because you aren’t putting out that I’m a player vibe anymore. Who knows. but this is crazy. now when I finally decide to get serious and look for Mrs. Number one… now they’re just everywhere. and the naked pix didn’t even turn me on. which could mean that I’m gay I guess. Holy shit that reminds me last night I walked to this local newsstand on second avenue to get a smoke and there was this GAY XXX magazine on the counter so I opened it up and looked inside. And holy shit. it was filled with naked men with huge erect rods doing each other. I mean they were like really doing each other in the poop shoots. I had never seen that before. I mean, we hear about it, but to see it like that in full color. Wow. that was some crazy stuff. so that’s what they do for real then huh. Crazy. hey, whatever floats your boat.]

so where were we. O.k. so no housekeeper and the apartment is really gross. I mean we are back to the college days at this point. Seriously disgusting at this point. But that’s because I’m working around the clock and frankly even if I weren’t who wants to clean their own house? so I just let it go because well its fun and I’m lazy and probably too much of a snob at this point for my own good. but the bath tub is so gross! I’m talking gross and I still take these baths everyday in it like that character from the old MTV show the young ones. And I don’t really mind because I’m really enjoying the old dirty college days vibe. I don’t know why exactly but I’m actually enjoying it. I think I secretly look at it like my last blast. I mean, lets face it, once you settle down with a girl you can’t just let the house go and live like a pig so I’m just really getting a lot out of it and making the most of it. there is garbage everywhere and when I walk I just kick it around the room. Now bear in mind that I’m pretty high right now from all this pain medication from this effing ear ache so don’t count on me to admit this tomorrow.

but yeah I think the dirty tub water is giving me these crazy ear infections. From dunking my head under the water. But that’s not the point. Frankly, I’m quite saddened by the whole thing because the doctor told me I had to take showers for a while or I could end up in the hospital. He said that if I didn’t get in his office today I would have ended up in the hospital by Sunday because he had never seen an infection so bad. He asked how I was dealing with the pain. I told him I was popping like twenty Advil a day at this point and I finally only came in because I lost my hearing in that ear and it sucked because I couldn’t talk on the phone in my left ear and type anymore.

So he had to drain it and then place this long cotton wick with medicine on it way down deep into my ear canal. Talk about pain! holy shit. excruciating! With an earache he’s shoving this long needle down my ear canal with this tube of medicine. He says ear aches are right up there with child birth and kidney stones as far as pain goes. I would agree, except I’ve never had a kidney stone.

So The doctor cost me $440. not kidding. So that’s what life without health insurance is like. and the prescriptions were $521. you read that right. I’m not even kidding. Five hundred bucks for three bottles of medicine. Leave it to me to get so sick from taking baths that I have to spend a thousand dollars on an ear ache. Fucking a I thought when I was in the drug store. No wonder people are complaining about health care costs in this fucking twisted country. a billion dollars an hour we are spending of our tax dollars on bush’s destruction of Iraq and we can’t afford health care for Americans. I never knew it was so expensive. For the life of me I cannot figure out why all these congressmen work for us still. I mean, I never had to pay for healthcare before so I had no clue, but all these poor old saps in line in front of me and behind me. all these old people. no wonder they are so freaked out. but still, they don’t do anything about it. what a bunch of fucking idiots. If I had any idea I would have been freaking even more than I have been. And these congress people are supposed to be working for us. but I just don’t think Americans put two and two together. I just don’t think they realize, really understand, that they work for us. they are supposed to serve us.  and our needs and then you have all these schools that can’t afford auditoriums and after school programs and all that. and yet every week we spend a billion dollars on this war with our money. and everyone is still just going about their business. why? what a bunch of crazy fools we are here. I will just never get it.

I am so in love with New York. so in love with my neighborhood. Very lucky. right in the heart of things here. of course I hate New York as well. I hate it just about as much as I love it actually. I abhor the subway rides. And then those long ass walks after the subway ride. accomplishing things here if you aren’t completely loaded and have someone else doing everything for you is really fucking hard. Two of my fav guitars have been at the repair shop for a month now and I just don’t feel like going to get them. because you guessed it. no car. so it’s a cab thing. I don’t know. not having a car really just makes things more frustrating and annoying and seem more difficult. But New York is so beautiful. what a wonderful crazy crowded friendly place it is. what an honor and privilege it is to live here.

Last screening: bewitched. Boo boo made me see it. hadn’t seen her in months so I was up for anything just to spend time with her.

Current spin: autechre. This is sound and nothing more. like Nabukazu takemura my favorite. Art for arts sake. I LOVE this style of music. also Akufen. Same style. Such good stuff. if you like that style. They are calling it glitch music now. I am calling it brilliant.

Maria full of grace

Just got the call. Our friend Maria is getting worse. She has started to bleed through her trachea tube. It is only a matter of time now. she has we guess decided to head the other way. I call her lover *** and I tell her we are there for her. hundreds of people around the country are there for you both thinking about you and thinking the best thoughts for you. I hope you know that. I know. I know. and Maria knows too she tells me sobbing into the phone. Fishy, there is one thing you can do. tell me sweetie. will you write a song for Maria? She sobs. I already did. I wrote one that night that I was with her in the hospital. And you know what? she added some lyrics of her own. oh my God thank you so much Fishy. that is so cool. I know. it really was. I will play it for you one day. I will record it. it is called Maria full of grace.

Boo Boo Kitty tells me that its o.k. that Maria wants to check out. that will finally be free out there floating. I lied this imagery. It helped me calm into it a bit more. death is heavy for the people that are left behind. But perhaps its not so bad for the person who leaves. At least for Maria, attached to all these machines, afraid to even wake up for fear of choking on the dam tubes shoved down her throat… maybe for her its an alright thing to pass on. I will hold that space for her. for whatever she decides to create. I will miss her though. Very much.

Current spin: ivano fossati, not a word. This is AMAZING. REALLY GOOD MUSIC.

Getting used to being famous

Last night I dreamed that the TV show got picked up. this was a good dream.

Experimenting with two different brain food nutrients, Bacopa, and also Vinpocetine the last few days. I know I said no more smart pills, but I couldn’t help it. had been a while. I had spent a lot of time studying these two nutrients the last few weeks and couldn’t resist.

I found that the Bacopa made me calm but wired at the same time. I was very focused and was able to work straight for about six hours without stopping. Focus and concentration were clearer. Less multi-tasking. More aware of the tendency towards distraction and multi-tasking, which I think is a real time waster. You end up getting ten things started and no things actually completed. With this nutrient, I found that I was better able to stop this and stay clear and focused on what I was doing in each moment. but I did find it very hard to sleep last night. a slight agitation till at least 1 or 2 am. I will report more on the vinpocetine as the day progresses. Just had one so far.

Have decided to start experimenting with new exercise techniques that I have gathered from a few new theories that the last few years have been bubbling under the surface, new theories on exercise physiology that propose that long continuous repetitive exercise such as aerobic or cardio or multi-reps are not as good at fat burning or muscle building or strength building as originally thought. But that instead that this may cause the body to slow down the fat burning and strength building processes. There are two totally different camps with two totally different theories on this that are both saying very similar things. One is a doctor and one is a group of exercise physiologists. But both are discovering such similar data that I believe that they may be onto something that will revolutionize how we look at exercise and human fitness. The short story is this: to build strength and muscle and burn fat faster, do short duration very heavy load maximum capacity exercises and then rest and then do it again and then rest. And that’s it. no more tread mill or running machine for a half hour, and no more ten to twelve reps of numerous exercises for one muscle group. just short bursts of max capacity full out assaults and then rest. No more fifteen to twenty minutes in a day and that’s it. I will try this for a few weeks and check it out. experiment a bit with different approaches and see what happens.

Notice that because I am learning French presently that I hear French being spoken all around me a lot more frequently. That phenomenon similar to when you learn a new word that you’ve never heard before and then all of a sudden you hear it three times in a week. like ‘where the fuck did that word come from? did everyone just learn it yesterday?’

Today I was walking to the park and this guy approached me all hunched over with a cane and a big suitcase. He looked terribly sick and withered away. he had all these medical papers with him and kept trying to show them to me. he said he was trying to get to the UN youth hostile on 48th and needed a cab because it hurt him to walk and money to stay the night because he got kicked out of the hospital today. there he was just roaming the streets almost crying…. said he had aids and hepatitis. I told him it was alright and to cheer up…. My heart was in agony over his disposition and I hailed him a cab. I emptied my pocket and only had twelve dollars. Enough for the cab with maybe five bucks left over. So I gave him all of it. I walked away and realized that I was now officially trapped. That was all I had and all I will have till God knows when. I helped him put his suitcase in the trunk and patted his back. “feel good old man.” As I walked away I just started crying… I don’t know if I was crying because I realized that I was now completely broke or because of his horrible situation… but I couldn’t help crying. I just can’t believe what people go through everyday all around us. the pain and misery in the world is unbearable sometimes.

Being a well known person, or at least having the appearance of a well-known person, is a strange thing to get used to. it is a big world that we live in and there are billions of people. New York is especially immune to famous people. so no matter who you are you can still get away with walking around just like anyone else for the most part. Unless you’re jay leno or p diddy you figure… someone like that. But I’ve noticed that it does take some getting used to being someone who people feel a need to stare at all the time. you have to let it roll off. The worst part is when they approach you and ask you who you are and then you tell them and they tell you that they’ve heard of that person but can’t figure out who it is, but you are standing right in front of them… they’re like “Fishy…. I’ve heard of him… who is he?” and I’m like “I’m Fishy…. its me.” and they’re like, “no… no…  I’ve heard of him though… where have I heard that name before…” as if it isn’t you but someone else… they recognize that they recognize you, and they recognize that they recognize your name, but they refuse to believe that you are that person because why the hell would you be just sitting in the park like everyone else… so I’m supposed to sit there with them and try to figure out who this person is… I always think to myself after one of these episodes ‘well, where should I be then? where do they expect you to be if not in the park on such a beautiful day?’ it’s a very strange thing. like being between worlds or something….

The weather here in New York is unbelievably beautiful today. a cool 40 degrees. Blue sky and sunny as all hell. Everyone is out and happy. Is there any place more perfect and wonderful than Manhattan? I think not. Not today at least.

I am almost to the point where I am accepting my real age. Not quite. But close… still in moderate resistance to it but its getting easier. I still claim on most days to be anywhere between five to ten years younger than I am depending on what I feel I can get away with. I cannot fathom entirely how old I have gotten in such short a time. Our grandparents were right when we were children… life does pass you by rather quickly. The grave is much closer than we realize. But I am becoming more accustomed to the idea as time passes I’ve noticed. I would guess that this is a good thing.

Fake sugars

Hey, You should have seen MY APARTMENT before this weekend. I hadn’t done the dishes since that lady in October!!! I left them in the sink over Christmas!!! Holy cow that place smelled awesome!!! and then I decided I would start throwing the garbage on the kitchen floor so I wouldn’t have to worry about changing the garbage bags so the kitchen had like two feet of garbage covering the entire floor. I would just go in there and wade through this big pile of garbage to get to the fridge. My landlord came over once to loan me a space heater and he couldn’t walk in the kitchen because of all the garbage and he didn’t know what to say to me. he just stared at me standing there at the entrance of the kitchen with all this garbage piled up to his knees… it was fucking hilarious!!!

All clean now though… living like that for a while was fun. I must admit. felt like college again. but living clean is a good thing too.

Thought for the day:?There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today in America than?on Alzheimer’s research.??This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with?perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to?do with them.


The U.S. government has pledged $350 million in aid for tsunami victims. That may seem like a lot until you realize it spends that much every two days to finance its war in Iraq.

Just when you think it’s not possible for someone to be any more evil….
The dangers of aspartame and Donald Rumsfeld

I know this report from years ago. It basically is just the historical timeline of the chemical known as aspartame or NutraSweet which is a poisonous chemical found in artificial sweeteners that some in the “unknowing masses” contingent use as a sugar substitute. As most people know, aspartame is poison. In thirty years of testing it has always proved to cause brain tumors and seizures, but there it is right on our grocery shelves. what a lot of people don’t know is that in 1985 at the time the fda banned aspartame from ever being able to be consumed by humans because it was poison, the company president was Donald Rumsfeld, now the American secretary of defense. At this time he was the president of GD serle, the company that was trying to push this baby onto the unsuspecting market. And when they said no, he said he would “call in his markers” (use his political influence) to get it pushed through… which he did. Read the whole story above: Health advocates fought hard against aspartame in the mid-nineties. But still couldn’t save the public. Same thing now with the whole ‘milk it does a body good’ since everyone knows that milk is dangerous stuff. we all drink it. as little as possible of course, but still you have to be a moron not to know by now that milk is total fucking poison to the human body. (I know what you’re thinking… I like milk too. but mainly now just in my coffee.. I use soy milk or rice milk in my cereal. I’m just too freaked out by the studies of how bad milk is for us, but man I love cream in my coffee)
Anyway, so aspartame gets approved through all of these really criminal and underhanded methods and now like with many things in the United States you have millions of people getting sick and dying every year and everyone standing around with their hands in the air going “what? I don’t know how he got sick! Its all terribly sad and funny stuff. like everything about being human… our history, our laws, the rules, everything, all of it… its all written by the rich and powerful and has nothing to do with the truth.

[think about this. we all know how similar Osama bin laden and gw bush are. pretty much one and the same. In fact, lets face it, gw bush has killed thirty-thousand times more people now in Iraq than Osama bin laden did in the world trade center attacks. So maybe gw is even more evil than Osama…. who knows. but that’s not the point… the point is this. you have these two men, both radically conservative and militant men who are willing to fight and kill to defend their religious beliefs and who right in front of the entire world are out there killing people in the name of their country and their God. right now through the world media, human beings, human consciousness is being influenced, almost forced to turn a blind eye to the horrors perpetrated by Mr. bush and at the same time being encouraged to look in horror at Osama bin laden and his attacks at the world trade centers.

Now if bush stays in office and is effective in his bid to take over the country of Iraq… and doesn’t do anything too crazy in the next four years… which is highly unlikely but lets just say he hangs in there and has a smooth ride… this is the crazy part… are you ready? here it is: he will be writing history. Two hundred thousand people killed at his command or not he will write the history that says that he is a good person and that Osama is a bad person. that America is the good country and that Osama and Hussein and the evil terrorists are the bad people. etc. you get the picture.

This is the way its always been. Humans have always had to put up with evil fuckhead bastards during their reign of terror and then a hundred years later we reverse our opinion and start recognizing how much in error we were at the time.. this is just human history. O.k. so what if Osama or Hussein would have won? Or even Hitler? Guess what? you with me? you getting it? yes exactly. they would be writing history instead. and they would be the good guys to the whole world. and America would seem like the bad guys. and they would seem like great men for defeating the Americans who were killing all these people and bullying all these little Muslim countries by only attacking our world trade centers and only killing three thousand people…. you see, that’s the point. It has nothing to do with who’s right or who’s wrong… and it never has. Not since human history begun. It all has to do with who wins the battle. Always has. That’s who gets to tell everyone how to print the story the next day. the last man standing. absolutely fucking fascinating stuff. horrible and terrifying. But interesting.

this is the human way. sad but true. the world is run by greedy tyrants. One minute some cat named Rumsfeld is trying to push through a poison chemical that the fda has proved causes tumors and seizures onto the unsuspecting masses so he can make more money, and twenty years later he’s running a full-on assault on a tiny country named Iraq which happens to own the world’s second largest oil sources, ordering young American kids to kill hundreds of thousands of Iraqi people. the world is run by tyrants whores and thieves. Always has been.

What always comes to my mind next. whenever I have this thought. Its this. what would happen if I ever ran a huge company like Serle? Or became the secretary of defense? Would I become a insane and greedy tyrant who doesn’t give a shit about the truth or about other people’s health? I mean, is this just how it is? do all people in high positions become evil monsters? …

O.k. I’m just kidding. Trying to be fair to the old boy. But no, sorry, that wouldn’t happen to me. lets face it. guys like that are assholes because they were born assholes. And they just don’t care that they’re assholes. Money and power is their thing and that’s that. the rest is unimportant.

I swear to God I just emailed someone to go download msn messenger because email is sooooo slow. And two days earlier someone had said the same thing to me… go get msn messenger so we can talk faster than email… can you imagine? We are already thinking email is too slow for us???? God how long has it been now? seven or eight years now since we’ve been using email. more really. So yeah that makes sense… tech is moving fast now…

Last screening: the rules of the game. 1939 French classic from Renoir.

Ignorance is bliss

Went to the Internet movie database, as one often does when needing a bit more data, to read what others have said about la dolce vita so I could perhaps gain a keener appreciation of the film. many people have it actually placed on their top ten or top five lists. [This site is brilliant and essential by the way if you do not know it. I’ve been digging it since ‘98. Go here and check it:] Best movie lists are impossible of course but always fun. its always interesting to read other peoples lists. you read about movies you’ve never even heard of before. You can then jump right over to and order the DVDs to come sit in your player for a night.

My top five if I absolutely had to, but only in this moment, with very little thought and in absolutely no order; in fact they are all tied for first place:

raging bull, sound of music, my fair lady, schindlers list, 8 ½, the matrix, fight club, godfather 1 and 2, but 3 gets nowhere near the top 1000. royal tennenbaums, of course, and life aquatic of Steve zisou, star wars and empire strikes back are always fun, until the end of the world and the two angel movies Wim Wenders did, far away so close and that other one. and then give me any early Cary grant movie just to have him in there. I don’t really care which one. take Philadelphia story. That’s a good one. and would have to get eternal sunshine of the spotless mind in there because I think it may be one of the best screenplays ever written in humankind’s history. of course apocalypse now, since along with citizen Kane, it just may be actually in the top two of all time. oh yes and also the top two would have to include at least three of Woody’s, say, Annie hall, deconstructing Harry, and stardust memories, off the top of my head. Solaris comes to mind for its tone and vibage, but prob not top fifty. But good flick because it speaks to US and not the common masses like most movies do these days.

For tonight that would be it and that would be a fine list for any desert island experience.

For fun we took our IQ tests on this website, I missed 4 questions out of 40. Scored a 136. Not bad. Not as good as I expected but not bad. Top 5% overall percentile. Top 100 percentile in visual-spatial, logical, and linguistic intelligence, which means that out of the one-million people who have logged on and taken the test on this site, the score is higher than 100% of all of them – however they figure that??? Or that 0% have ever scored higher; so where did I fuck up? The glitch is that I flubbed some math; only top 95% in mathematical intelligence. All four of my wrong answers were math related. Princess Little Tree on the other hand was so good at the math problems that she didn’t even need to see them. I would just call them out to her and she would answer them correctly in a few seconds. I was impressed. She is after all she reminds me an engineer. I have no idea what engineers do actually but I assume it must have something to do with being good at math.

Stats are as follows:
In fact, 95% of all people have IQs within the range 70 to 130. 68% of people score between 80 and 120. The following chart to your right, shows these percentages and where your IQ score is on that scale. You scored in the top 5% of all participants.??Fucking math. Always been my weakness. But not bad for a kid who was by all accounts a complete fucking idiot in school and never got a grade above a D in twelve years. [this is the truth. I’m not even making it up for dramatic purposes or poetic license. I just never could do school. Always felt lost in it.]

I have always believed, despite what experts claim, that our IQs are constantly changing. Or better, are constantly able to change, depending on our up-bringing and our desire and ability to change the results/outcome of that upbringing and of course our present circumstances play a minor role in it such as how much sleep we’ve had or how much caffeine or how we distracted we are in the moment etc…

I’m pleased with the results of today’s test because I take good care to exercise which I think keeps you smart, I stay in a constant state of learning – for me its certainly prioritized higher on my list than any social concerns – I’m always going to choose reading or writing or working or studying to going out — taking classes of any kind on a regular basis and always learning new languages and staying in this constant state of learning is not only going to keep you smart, but I believe, makes you smarter.

I have also been taking the right nutriceuticals for about fifteen years straight now without fail. And I stagger my intake of certain nutrients depending on what I feel is going on in my mind or body at the time, which I think is also important, the secret weapon. I used to be really into smart drugs and nutrients, in the nineties if you remember, but haven’t been touching them for a few years now since, one, I started intuitively postulating the theory that they could have a tendency to make one more depressed – why I don’t know for sure but could have something to do with their potential to increase acetyl-Choline in the brain, and two, one day I just realized I didn’t need to get any fucking smarter. I took this amazing brain formula about a year ago for the first time in years and I was just flying on it all day, but I just had this thought that said what the fuck, the last thing I need right now in my life is to have any more ideas or to have any better of a memory than I have, or be any more creative than I already am. It wasn’t to ‘be smarter’ that I was in need of; instead it was to be more disciplined, to have more will, to have more follow through… things like that I realized were more important to me now.

But back at the peak of my experimentation with smart-nutrients, about 1998, a friend who was in graduate school for psychiatry asked me to take an IQ test for her so she could fulfill some requirement for a class. I happily obliged since I was curious to see if the benefits I thought I was feeling the last few years prior were merely anecdotal or if in fact they were having a measurable effect; I upped up my dosages of smart nutrients for about a week before the test date. I scored a 147 on the test which she told me was a good score. Comparing that with my recent score of 136 would lead me to believe that I have actually gotten dumber. But since I am happier than I’ve ever been I would tend to believe that the old adage that ‘ignorance is bliss’ may have some truth to it and we should all be trying to dumb down rather than get smarter.

For the record for those who are interested, the nutrients I am referring to are the following: Choline – the PC kind, PS – phosphatidal-serine, PGA – pyroglutamic acid, DMAE — dimethylaminoethanol, ginkgo biloba, Bacopa, vinpocetine, galantamine, l-carnitine, L-phenylalanine. That’s a good start. From there you could move up to actual nootropics, which are drugs not nutrients. But the line is pretty blurred between the two. The smart-nutrients work just as well as the drugs at this point. Again, for me, I’m off them all now. And if that means I drop a few points in IQ, that’s cool. if I have any more ideas than I have now I’m going to fucking go crazy as it is.

For Sir Richard:
But while we’re on it, as far as supplements go, which of course is a major passion of mine, and should be for everyone, my current regime consists of the following:
•    a greens drink once or twice a day to alkalize and get foundational nutrition since I don’t eat very well right now.
•    a Myoplex protein shake because I’m poor and lazy and it provides me with 25 grams in a 2$ one shot with only 5 carbs,
•    a calcium and magnesium with boron and other minerals supplement (I use advacal by lane labs because it is the best form available now) a good calmag is one of the essentials. It keeps you calm, helps you sleep, prevents kidney stones from forming, and most importantly prevents your bones from weakening as most peoples do as we get older so you don’t have to have a fucking hip replacement like Eddie van halen or nikki sixx just did, both in their mid-forties. fuck that.
•    I also like Jarrow formulas advanced bone up which combines the same calcium as advacal with anti-inflamatory nutrients to prevent arthritis or sore and stiff fingers from playing the guitar and piano for hours. [coffee and soda cause arthritis, that’s it in a nutshell, and I love coffee and don’t want to give it up. so a good joint formula like this is important or else.
•    a good B complex with coenzymes – this is the better form, much more absorbable. By far the most important for me. B vits saved my fucking life. alcohol coffee and smoking all leech the b vitamins from your body and so does stress. And my life is filled with all four. And guess what happens when you don’t have enough b vits in your body? panic attacks, anxiety, feelings of stress, depression, irritability, inability to sleep or concentrate, low energy… etc…. also the food we eat here in the states has all the vitamins ripped out of it in the processing stages so a good b vit at least twice a day is essential. But don’t take them at night because if they are good they will give you energy. But at the same time overall calm you down and prevent anxiety. Crazy but true. good stuff. essential. Your life will change within a week of going on a good b complex.
•    Food for life by rainbow light. A phyto-nutrient formula from fruits and vegetables. Lycopene for the prostrate; lutein and carotenoids for the eyes, etc. good stuff. this is the best phyto-nutrient, the most natural one, out there.
•    Alpha-lipoic acid and acetyl l Carnitine combo. Great for energy, memory, male performance, clear thinking, insulin balancing, powerful anti-oxidant protection. On and on.
•    I take an hgh formula about five times a week to keep the level high in my system. I use UltraMax HGH for obvious reasons. It’s the best one out there. great for skin, hair, nails, male performance, libido, fat reduction, increased lean muscle mass, etc. best overall anti-aging combo on the market today. at three bucks a does it better be.
•    I am really into hormones right now. I can honestly say I have never felt better in my whole life. I switch back and forth between DHEA one day and pregnenolone the next, always taking Sundays off. Talk about massive amounts of energy and sharp clear thinking. makes you feel like superman these two do. most days I am just on fire.
•    Deer antler velvet. I don’t take it very often right now because I still think it fucks with my singing, increasing my testosterone levels too rapidly lowers my range, but if you aren’t a singer you will love this nutrient. Super-high in IGF-1 and other cofactors. I still like it every now and then when I need to kick ass. if you are an athlete you will love it.
•    For more energy I take rodiola occasionally. Maybe a half sometimes. But lately I just haven’t needed any more energy. The city energizes me enough.
•    Also NADH is amazing for energy. But be careful, it sneaks up on you. you can get very wired from NADH. And it lasts. Again, I just don’t need it right now. Sublingual formula only seems to work.
•    Fiber. I don’t take it everyday. But its great to fill you up so you don’t eat as much, lowers bad cholesterol like a mother, and keeps you regular when needed. I take it once a week or so. as we get older the need seems to increase. If you eat like shit your need is higher.
•    A lot of people may ask where is the multi-vitamin or anti-oxidant. But by the time you’re done with this list there are plenty of vitamins and anti-oxidants in here for more than your required daily need.
•    One or two caveats: Arginine and glutamine are great for lean muscle increase and fat reduction but UltraMax HGH has plenty of both.
•    also, switch your supplements every month. This is the key. This is the secret weapon of the knowing few. You don’t have to take them every day or every month.
•    Also, what works for me may not work for you. everyone’s needs are different. You have to study the shit like crazy for a few years and experiment to discover what your own needs are.
•    Also, switch brands to see what works best for you. you can’t believe how different each brand is going to feel.
•    Also, there is no need to follow the directions. You may only need half doses of many nutrients.
•    Also, take Sundays off. Give your system a complete day of rest off all supplements to relax and reset itself.
•    One more thing: sleep. I know it’s not a supplement, but I consider it just as important. anyone who knows me knows how much I love sleep. I think sleep is highly under rated by most people. everyone has a different need. some people I know need only six hours a day instead of the average eight. But me, I like a good eight to ten hours most of the time. not every night but I can easily sleep like a rock for ten hours and wake up feeling raged and wild and ready to rock the world. Sounds crazy I know but that’s where I’m at and I’m super defensive of my need for it. people say that’s too much sleep and that you’re sleeping your life away. sure. Keep on thinking that, but I’m more than happy with my productivity, daily output, and overall performance. just ask any of my bandmates. Try waking me up in the morning. It’s not pretty. On sleep also, for some reason I notice that my clock is set to go to sleep late and wake up late. don’t know why but its always been this way. no matter how early I go to sleep I still feel tired before 10am.
•    One more thing since we’re on it and I’m feeling generous. Hair. In the music and entertainment biz, hair is everything. so how does the Ambassador maintain his lion’s mane of curly locks? Well besides the above mammoth list, which I am sure certainly helps, the secret weapon in this department is not a supplement but a topical solution called KEVIS. Little vials of an enzyme extracted from sheep semen from Italy actually. Don’t ask me how it works but it can take a receding hairline or a bald spot and go to town on them like nothing on the market. Rogain is for the unknowing masses. leave it for them. Go on eBay and pick up a few hundred vials of KEVIS and rub it into your scalp everyday for a few weeks and watch what happens. your hair will grow like a fucking weed. Now you know. If you’re balding and hate it, don’t ever say no one told you.

Current spin: an ipod arrived today. I loaded it up and man walking down the street with this baby in your ear makes walking in New York is a whole different experience. Subways are boring and routine? Not anymore. You aren’t even aware you’re on a subway. The music is so loud and boomy and you are just fucking transported to this sound inside your head. Its way fucking hot, an unbelievable invention.

On fire!

Working out tonight after a full fucking day I was just rocking like lightening. On fire. Ideas shooting out of my brain. Twenty minutes of cardio, then about a half hour of weights, and then I put on some gloves and hit the bag and practiced jabs and cross for a while till I was just totally fatigued. Boxing is very cool.

Last screening: me and Isaac Newton. This is a documentary about some of the most cutting edge scientists of our time. especially finding the cognitive psychology work of Steven pinker interesting. And michio kaku the physicist. “what I find the most fascinating is that as I am formulating these ideas of a unified field theory here at this time… that there is someone else, another man or woman or being thinking about the same thing a trillion miles away in another galaxy… formulating the same idea…”

Current spin: NEK, greatest hits. Italian pop star. Nothing I would recommend but cool. kind of a Enrique Iglesias of Italy. Never managed to pull me under.

Healthy Living

Went to visit the Coon’s mom, Aldine, today with Juliet. I felt that they would get a lot out of meeting. And I wanted to pay my respects. She now lives in Eugene, Oregon! Hadn’t seen her in about ten years. So beautiful and still so smart and curious about everything. she still has all the latest knowledge at her house as always in the form of books and tapes and cds and magazines. Totally up to date on EVERYTHING. and she is now 82 years old. Totally into raw foods now. for lunch we had peppermint tea, dates, raisins, walnuts, avocado, and hemp seeds with hemp oil and lemon paste. That was strange I must say, eating paste for a meal… but you could feel the nutrition seeping into you, which is what attracted me to the natural lifestyle in the beginning, all those years ago. You can feel nutrition. As it enters the body. Unfortunately we do not consume much nutrition in our lives in modern times. you can feel that when you are eating most days, how un-nutritious what you are eating is. and you can plainly see it in the fact that most of us die of cancer or some other horrible disease rather than from natural causes.

[I am not implying by this statement that we are any worse off than times past. I am not. I think we are healthier now as a species than we’ve ever been. I think most would agree with me. We are certainly living longer than we ever have. I truly believe that we know more about health and nutrition now than we ever have in our short human history. But in general it is not easy to eat healthfully in the modern era. We’re a fast food nation. And we are also a factory food nation. And a processed food nation. None of it bodes well for our health. So no one is too surprised when they learn of themselves or someone close to them having cancer or heart disease or needing bypass surgery or having Alzheimer’s or any other of the hundreds of ailments that stricken the human race still. saddened sure, but surprised no. we think of these diseases as if they are natural causes, because it is just so inbred in us to think this way, because we are all so used to everyone around us dying this way. But I don’t think it will be this way forever. I think we’re coming around. More and more, people are coming around. [I say this as I remember the woman in front of me on the airplane today giving her son and daughter a nestle crunch bar and then a plastic bag full of captain crunch… and these kids were no more than 4 and 9 years old. Or the girl sitting next to me swigging her coke and woofing down a half a can of Pringles. I mean, you cant go to the doctor and wonder why he just told you that you had cancer or heart disease or any other disease for that matter when you are filling your body with mostly non-food and thereby having very little room or desire for real food. Its all kind of right in front of our faces. We are still primarily obsessed with curing diseases than preventing them.]]

It was Coon’s mom who started me and our whole group on healthy living and eating back when we were in college. [for the record I am not a healthy eater currently. As any loyal reader of the diaries could easily attest to. being a child of the fast food nation, my taste buds, my being single, and my love of convenience all make it difficult for me to eat healthfully as often as I should or would like to.] But I was amazed when I reflected on how broad her influence was, on all of us, and how it has lasted. Just one person. because of that one health retreat I decided to go on at her house my whole life changed. I showed up and told her I needed to clean up and she said o.k. well you can come stay at my house but you have to do whatever I say. I will teach you about natural living. I was so strung out on everything and anything and was just a mess. I came into the house with just a little suitcase and she escorted me to this guestroom she had made up for me. there was nothing in the room except for a futon on the floor and a pillow, a side table and a lamp. Next to the bed was a towel and a washcloth, a natural fiber dry brush, and a stack of books she suggested I read while I was there. about ten books. Some on yoga, some on detoxing, one on the dangers of sugar, a book or two on fasting, and of course Harvey and Marilyn diamonds classic on health. Can’t remember the name but it revolutionized the way America looked at health and wellness. Fit for life, that’s what it was called. Great book. Changed my life. I must have given out twenty of them that year.

For ten days I stayed at her house. didn’t do much but sleep, cry, dry brush my body a lot, drank a lot of tea, and some soup. but all it took was a week or so to start feeling the effects of being clean for the first time since I was in my early teens. I had quit smoking cigs, drugs, alcohol, and processed foods and felt better than I had in years. and through that my whole crew started living the natural lifestyle. Madelynne O’Ryan and Mohdie still live that way ten years later. They are still vegans. Precisely because of the influence that Aldine had had on me. that’s an amazing thought. I went in and out of it over the years. never went back to drugs or alcohol or cigarettes actually from that point on because I felt so damn good. but my eating habits have been pretty bad the last year or two since not having Cleopatra around. But because of that change in lifestyle and moving over to the natural lifestyle I frequented health food stores a lot and that is where I met Cleo. Again, if it weren’t for that health retreat with coons mom I never would have gotten healthy and gotten so into health food stores and I never would have wandered into that health food store all those years ago and met one of the most important people of my life. that’s an unbelievable thought. What power we have as individuals to manifest reality for others through our simple day to day actions.  

Last screening: and the band played on. More later. too tired.

Current read: losing my virginity, autobiography of Richard Branson. Great inspiration just reading a few pages each day.

Master of Self

In order to get stronger you have to continuously lift weights that are heavier than what you normally are accustomed to lifting. One week you cannot even think about curling fifty pounds. Two weeks later you are curling fifty-five. You just got stronger baby. And more toned. Lucky you. Deep realizations lately on this concept of challenging myself to do things that I don’t want to do. Once you force yourself to do something that you at one point could not because you are afraid or because you just don’t feel up to it then you really start to flex and test your strength and character.

The key is to force yourself to do it. Just dive in and make it happen. This can become addictive—becoming the master of yourself. Becoming a warrior. Someone who refuses to say no. This is the difference between the strong and the normal person. We hear about strong people everyday. They are strong because they are able to do things that themselves and others don’t want to.

Current Spin: High llamas — Gideon Gaye.
Current Read: Stupid White Men by Michael Moore. Really funny.
Last Good Flick: Bourne Identity. Cool, very cool. What James Bond movies wish they were.