Dark Matter: Believing in the Impossible

Over the last thirty odd years, since as early as I can remember even in childhood, I have noticed that a peculiar phenomenon exists within the consciousness of most people we share the world with, no matter their age, nationality, religion, class or financial situation. Even those considered “intelligent” doesn’t seem to prevent them from operating from this perspective most of the time, despite how limiting and potentially impeding it can be.

Simply put, what we find is that most people are either natural born skeptics regarding anything they believe “does not exist” or “isn’t real”, OR through the years they begin to develop this viewpoint… that one shouldn’t believe in ANYtning, no matter how plausible or enticing, that doesn’t already exist and have the recognition and agreement of “most people”. And when hey refer to “most people”, they’re referring to people like them, in their neck of the woods, in their country, who speak their language. (How many times have we traveled half way around the world to a “foreign” country and discovered something — be it an idea or a philosophy or a physical thing like a new food or a new style of music) — that we had absolutely no idea even existed? It happens, right? But we do find many people who simply don’t believe in things unless it’s what they consider “common knowledge”. Personally I’ve always found it strange. Even as a boy.

For the millions of people who have lived and died since the dawn of man all the way up until the 1500s it was common knowledge and accepted fact that the earth we lived on was flat; AND that the giant fiery sun in our solar system revolved around this flat earth. … That’s what made a year obviously and everyone knew it. No one even questioned it. But a few… And they weren’t treated too well for their questioning. So it’s no wonder that most people tend to stick with knowledge that’s been “approved” by the powers that be and society in general.

The only problem with the flat earth at the center of the universe ideas was that these heavily studied, long established facts simply weren’t true. It took thousands of years for the powers that be to acknowledge this. A knowledge of history reminds us that even after the controlling powers at the time began realizing that these ideas were utterly and completely wrong, they continued to proclaim that they were scientific fact and imprisoned anyone who dared to challenge them.

Humans are funny creatures. As mean, dimwitted and stubborn as they are fascinating and innovative. Of course “power” — maintaining it in the name of a giant all-seeing deity in the sky — was the primary motivating factor behind the above example. Though the world’s major religions will claim today that maintaining power had nothing to do with it and instead they were just trying to defend “the holy word of God” and his “Church”. Underneath it all was a major problem though. The so-called “Church” claimed that it got it’s information from the Big Man upstairs, that the so-called Pope had a direct connection with God Himself. And they’d been promoting these ideas for over a thousand years already. To admit that a mere human being could discover the true mechanisms of the solar system AND that it completely contradicted what the Church and God had been promoting had profound implications. It was no easy pill to swallow I’m sure.

That covers why the major powers of the world refused to accept reality; but what about the common everyday person on the street? What prevents them from dismissing potential realities that seem obvious but have just not been fully proven yet? It’s an interesting thing to ponder. Fear perhaps…

But let’s move on and let those sleeping dogs continue their slumber. For our point is not so much about the large institutions and controlling elite, but rather it’s more to do with everyday people and their unwillingness to believe in anything outside the ordinary unless its existence is formally announced to them as “official doctrine” by some alleged self professed authority, AND they feel a relative confidence that “everyone believes it now,” that they’re “not the only one”.

Therein may lie the root of the limitation: the need to fit in, to feel a part of something larger than oneself, to not feel different or, God forbid, “abnormal”. Which is too bad, because we can only imagine how much faster our evolution would move if as a whole we weren’t always being held back by this group of individuals who refuse to accept the reality of anything that hasn’t already collected dust in an old textbook or two for a few decades. It could also be fear of the unknown. Fear of the potential implications of one new reality or another not being as good for us as things are now. We can all relate to that feeling.. But do we let it cut us off from exploring or entertaining the possibility of new cutting edge ideas that at first glance seem radical if not crazy…?

Don’t get me wrong. I understand the temptation to be skeptical of claims that sound outlandish. Healthy skepticism is a powerful tool for self survival. But we aren’t speaking of healthy skepticism here. We’re speaking of those guilty of gross negligence in regards to branching out beyond their own indoctrination to study research explore and educate themselves on subjects that have popped up on their radar multiple times yet they still refuse to look into it, let alone consider the possibility of it being true.

Consider ideas such as dark matter. THIS is actually what led to this Diaries post. Dark Matter holds much more for some future potential major paradigm shifts in how we view and operate in the world than we are now giving it credit for. (Which if we have time, we can dig into a little deeper down below.) But when Vera Rubin first proposed the idea that empty space was NOT in fact empty at all, but rather could actually be filled with particles (matter) that we simply didn’t have the ability to see, it was almost immediately dismissed, scoffed at and poo-poo’d for decades by the world’s leading scientists as nothing more than science fiction. Until we discovered it that is.



Or consider the idea of multiple parallel (or not parallel perhaps…) universes, what some are now calling “the multi-verse”. It’s not easy to guess that most people when asked about the possibility of such a thing would laugh at first and then claim that they find it hard to believe. There is also the idea, first proposed as a viable possibility by Super String theorists, that there may be many more dimensions in the known universe (at least 10 to 12 according to Super String Theory) besides the three that we all so casually accept as truth without a second thought because it’s what they teach us in school from the moment we sit down at those desks. Hell, even string theory — the idea that at the very core of all matter is actually vibrating energy — (for me personally a much more realistic possibility than what is currently believed) is having a tough time being accepted by the majority of the scientific community; and regular everyday non-scientists, most of them anyway, seem oblivious that the idea even exists.

Further out, there are phenomenon like ESP, the ability to feel or read the thoughts and feelings of others, telekinesis, being able to see into the future or past — what some of us call “finely honed intuition”, astral travel, time travel with consciousness in order to overcome the limitations presently being created by our having physical bodies that could never withstand actual physical time travel…the list goes on and on. How often in our day to day life have we encountered someone or a group of someones who when bringing up any of these ideas immediately turn to sarcasm or making jokes or poking fun without even for a moment contemplating the ideas or studying themselves? It’s as if they’re waiting for it to be broadcast on the nightly news or CNN in order to even ponder the possibilities.


Just Because We Don’t Know it Exists Does Not Mean It Doesn’t Exist


This is what I found myself thinking about while studying some of the latest science on dark matter last night. I still remember learning about it decades ago, and frankly to me, based on the reasons for it being hypothesized, the problems it was meant to solve, and some of the readings future scientists were getting while studying the theory themselves, it seemed a rather sane logical elegant and brilliant solution. But as many know, we were in the minority if we felt this way. Now of course it’s quickly becoming a “thing”. Accepted.

Last night I asked myself, “Why is it that I am so naturally inclined to step out, explore and even entertain the possibility of these more esoteric, unproven ideas? Compared to others who lean more logical, science-based and pragmatic. Then it hit me. I’d been doing it all my life.

The method is simple. In order to break free from this commonly held limiting belief that “it doesn’t exist unless I can see it” is to simply spend a few minutes reflecting on history, either the BIG history of the universe, or even just the shorter history of humankind, focusing your attention especially on major transformative events (the advent of the first wheel as a tool, or the mastering of creating controlled fires rather than just always being victims of them). Then spend some time reflecting on the myriad profound moments of discovery and innovation — such as the invention of flying machines, or the immensely powerful energy of fossil fuels such oil, or the discovery of how to harness and use electricity…). All things that until their discovery or invention had always been dismissed as fantasy, pipe dreams or the ramblings of mad men. These past events offer proof that just about anything is possible if we set our hearts and minds to it, no matter how outlandish it may seem in “the present”, for there’s one thing we know for sure, we aren’t going to stay in the present for very long. The implications created by contemplating things from this angle can be quite profound if one allows their imagination to run free. Given enough time, theoretically speaking, one could posit that nothing in the world is “impossible”.

Now take a moment and consider the world of today and all the many things that we in the modern world accept as realities to the point of taking them for granted. Consider jumbo jets in the thousands flying above our heads no strings attached transporting tens of thousands of people from one point on the map to another. You can guarantee that if you showed this reality to someone, anyone, living 200 years ago they would surely think that either you or they were insane and you’d be lucky if they didn’t immediately think you were “practicing witchcraft or the work of the devil”.

And let’s face it, jumbo jets and being able to fly is just one of countless examples of the new realities we’ve created or discovered throughout our evolution. The point — and the real power — is that even a few minutes of contemplation on where we’ve been and where we are now reveals thousands of “things” that were once considered not to exist or impossible, and yet now are as common as a box of tissue. So to me it’s always seemed quite odd when I encounter someone who just flat out refuses to even accept the possibility of something that is not as yet considered thoroughly proven to be true.

A question arises… So just when DO most people start believing things exist that they once thought impossible? Is it when they see it with their own eyes? Or when they hear other people casually talking about it or announcing it on the nightly news? Most of the time, by the stage that a new reality reaches this point of broad impact and acceptance in the mainstream it has already been in existence or been known for a few years. At least. One would think this is an experience most people would want to avoid, always being the last to know about the latest and greatest; operating from archaic knowledge and thus making important life decisions from there, or even worse, always being that person who insists on arguing that something is not real true or possible when others already have experienced it and know it to be true. These are those “I’m not saying I don’t believe that YOU BELIEVE you had that experience….” You’ve heard the rest of that sentence before I’m sure. No need to repeat it.

Besides the awkward social ramifications of walking around with that kind of “I’ll believe it when I see it” mindset, there’re even more important considerations. Specifically in regards to service to our fellow man. I’ve always referred to it through this quote, “If you’re not on the way, then you’re in the way.” Simply put, for every person who is unable or unwilling to believe in things as of yet considered unproven impossible supernatural paranormal or pure fantasy, that’s one less person helping others on our journey to make “that” (whatever that happens to be) a reality. And all that does is limit manpower, potential resources and perhaps most importantly the creative force of mass consciousness when united behind one goal or mission. For every person who remains stubbornly persistent that some incredible sounding potential reality doesn’t exist or will never exist, general progress slows down and is limited. And that affects everyone.

One Final Note

For other purposes I often practice a similar exercise as the one above, but it’s inverse. Put as simply as possible, I take a specific moment in time when I know I have free time avail and for anywhere from ten minutes to a few days, I attempt to envision and ponder the discoveries, innovations and inventions of the future. Going out at least twenty-five to fifty years I believe is the minimum needed. Going out further just requires more imagination and vision. Of course this requires more imagination than memory or thought, (though remembering and thinking both help the eneavor as conscoiusness weaves in and out of all three spontaneously depending on what it’s going after in each moment). One cool thing you may notice once in a while is that you will jump from imagination right up into intuition. It’s subtle at first. But you’ll get this visceral feeling of excitement and/or perhaps a mental “ah hah!” as you recognize that you are no longer imagining something from the future, but you’re most likely either seeing it (intuition) OR perhaps even inventing it (but in that future time period). I take notes whenever I chance upon something we could use here-now. But in general It’s a beneficial and fascinating way to stay connected with a much larger section of the timeline itself AND has the potential to yield some brilliant discoveries.

More on this later…


– Posted by The Ambassador using BlogPress on an iPhone

Science Does Not Negate the Supernatural

Listening to Jesus Christ Superstar this morning. The Broadway Show album, versus the movie version that I’m more familiar with. Must say it was cool to hear Ian Gillian singing Jesus. Though for the most part I still enjoy the movie version the best.

There’s this one section when Judas is singing, after Jesus is captured and he calls out to God “you knew all along/ why’d you let me do it?” And in that moment I stopped and had this thought that stuck with me…

For all of our intellectual acrobatics about the existence (or not) or God or the nature of God etc…, in the end, when it counts, our “mind” (for lack of a better/easier word) just goes there. To this “something bigger exists”. Call it what you will. Everyone has a slightly different name for it.

But near our perceived death, or when in perceived danger, our thoughts go to this big idea of some larger than life divine consciousness. Or perhaps for some it’s more of a larger than life mass consciousness or super-consciousness. I’m sure the feeling of the idea is different for everyone.

But the point being, in that moment, the simple conclusion was “well there it is… After all our planning and claiming and asserting or denying, after all our pondering and contemplating, postulating and proposing, I bet a lot of people still end up right back at the same place they were in their youth, with this idea being foremost in their mind of the existence of this divine super power.

Then… you know, if that’s the case, then why bother with all the wondering doubting or denying? Why not just accept that that implant/engram/idea/program is there? It’s RIGHT there. Look for it. See it? It’s undeniably present at the very least in (what some might call) most people’s subconscious if not right in their present consciousness. (Some might say for them personally it’s “just below consciousness”…). Still there. Just not present all the time. But still there.

For me personally it just provided a freedom to stop playing with the idea of ITS existence so much and just ease into acceptance more often. Like easing into a hot but soothing healing bath.

Now yes, I admit that the next immediate thought was “okay sure that’s THERE for most of us, but that does NOT imply nor equate to the existence of THAT thing in any way. It just means we were programmed or indoctrinated to believe that from a very early age. Hard indoctrination. Not easy to overcome.”

(We could discuss this aspect of the subject a lot more of course. It’s deep. Like have you ever met anyone who was simply just not raised that way? Like they just were not raised to believe in any type of divinity or super-divine sentience at all in their childhood…? It’s really almost a supernatural kind of an experience right? Because it has the ability to create a sincere lack of shared reference points… Which of course can lead to a lack of understanding of viewpoints that another totally takes for granted as being undeniably “true”. But let’s keep moving…)

Then i watched “the mind” go to “you know, I bet very soon we will discover the neurological causes of this…. the mind (of almost everyone…) automatically going to the Divine in certain situations, like death or near death or close to death or in times or real struggle or intense elation. We probably just experience endorphins and/or neurotransmitters releasing more which trigger access to unchartered regions of the brain. High probability of being the case.

So…. What does that mean? Or at least imply?

Well for one thing, for me, after a few seconds it led to this: One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to believe that once we discover how something works “scientifically” –that once we discover that a once-past “something” considered so astounding or impossible seeming that it’s called “supernatural” now has a potential scientific explanation, that it somehow negates it’s potentiality as being something true or “real”.

Not enough time now to dig deeper. And I don’t want to leave you hanging. But you get it. If we ever discover the neurological correlations or causes of what we now label “prayer” or “talking to god” or “hearing the voice of God” or feeling “taken care of” or protected or “saved by God”, or even near death experiences…, this won’t negate the reality that it’s still happening. It’s real. We just now know some of the neurological mechanisms of the phenomenon. See?

Real quick, another great example is how for centuries we believed light to be composed of waves, as in “not material”. Then after tens of thousands of laboratory experiments later, scientists began seeing light “miraculously” turn into particles all of a sudden — as in “light” as we know it was no longer limited to JUST being composed of waves, and furthermore, “light” could then be said to be “matter”. Minds blown. Though no one knew how this was happening nor why. To make the matter even more stupifying (and one might say seemingly-supernatural) light seemed to be able to transform itself from waves into particles any time it wanted to, and then back again, with no necessary rhyme or reason. Scientists were and still are stymied by several aspects of this phenomenon. Through the years we have gathered more and more data about this strange anomaly in our understanding of the laws of physics. But we’re still 100% clear about how it works or what the larger implications might be to the world of modern physics. Though we have collected a lot of data and understand much more about the mechanism of this strange unexpected oddity. Even with all the data collected, even if we one day discover everything there is to know about it — how it works or why it does it at all, these scientific explanations will never dull the phenomenally crazy and exciting feelings we have about it. It is one of the most mind-blowing anomalies of modern physics, has broad, far-reaching implications in regards to how the universe might work, and is just generally uber cool. The science behind it, if anything, just helps us understand it a bit better. But the process itself, as impossible and contradictory as it is, still happens.

In the bigger picture, the larger point being, just because WE eventually discover (or some might say “create”) our own scientific explanation for some phenomenon does not make it any less astounding, NOR any less real.

More later of course. Bye for now.

– Posted by The Ambassador using BlogPress on an iPhone

Songwriting in Your Sleep

A funny thing has been transpiring lately. Something completely unexpected and almost supernatural in a way. If there is any “one thing” that I do well, out of the thousands and thousands of things we do or learn to do or are forced to do while we’re journeying here in the earthly realm — for surely every person possesses such a trait — for me personally, if there is one thing that I do better than every and anything else it is having a natural proclivity to prolifically writing songs and music composition. This is no secret, I know. It is common knowledge. So much so that I don’t even believe the main point of this entry should be to even remotely explore this strange character trait or why it comes so easy to me compared to so many other things. I am sure we have discussed it before here in these pages over the years.

Instead I simply wish to make note of this rather incredible new event that has begun transpiring lately on a near nightly basis. A little backstory…. We just finished recording and finishing over 45 new songs for the “new album”, which we now know will turn into three new albums that will be released over the course of this year. Choosing the songs is always one of the most challenging aspects of entering the recording studio with the guys. For I come in with alphabetized binders filled with thousands upon thousands of songs. Each in my humble estimation as good and worthy as the next to be included on our latest new album. So begins the process of me sitting there singing and playing the guys and the producers and engineers the songs that I have tabbed for whatever new album we happen to be working on and together as a group we semi-democratically choose which songs are yeses, which songs are maybes and which ones are flat-out nos.

Sometimes the decisions make sense to me — often times we go in with a set idea of concept in mind and thus only certain kinds of songs would be appropriate. While other times the group’s decisions about which songs are definite nos disturbs and confuses me. Everyone hears music differently. It is so subjective that it is impossible for one person to even be able to comprehend how another person hears a song let alone why they may or may not like it. And I must admit that at times I even find myself getting hurt a little at how quick they are to dismiss a song that I absolutely believe is “an incredible song!!!” But that feeling is usually fleeting for as soon as the discussion ends I start up another and the process begins all over again — every song carries with it such a special collection of feelings and memories and emotions that it is easy to get carried up and away with it as it was with the last. We will easily listen to a hundred or so songs before we eventually narrow it down to fifty or so. And from there we are all keenly aware that the hard part is yet to come as we have to keep narrowing it down to the ten or so that will eventually be known to be on that new album historically.

With this latest project — lord knows we were very aware that time was of the essence and that we needed to record and release the follow-up to Ballad On Third Avenue as quickly as possible. Ed Hale the artist had never garnered such overt commercial success before and never at such a level as what we were experiencing in that moment. But instead of being disciplined and finishing quickly the project soon turned into yet another large epic battle to not only record a mammoth batch of 45 new songs, but also to create three completely new and totally different sounding albums, AND to incorporate several new innovative techniques into the recording process — using musicians from all over the world to record their parts virtually at their own studios and send them in to our engineers to import the songs into our system — a process that would at the very least create an extremely confusing and disharmonious sound but at best could just possibly create something completely fresh and unique sounding. (Since I am writing THIS post-recording now and we are in the mixing stage, I can relay that it did indeed create an incredibly massive oftentimes muddied even noisy fusion of sound and cacophony at times, this is true…but some of the songs are sounding fantastically unique and innovative in their “sound”, a sound no one has ever heard us create before with more instruments and a wider variety of instruments and sounds than we’ve ever incorporated into our music. Not that it doesn’t still sound like “us”. It does. It has the Transcendence sound all over it… Still basically Brit Pop with a classic rock bent… But the new technique we attempted worked. It is very exciting to listen to. Goosebumps inducing at times even. The mad experiment worked. It’s just taking longer to mix and finish. But the wait will be worth it I believe. )

Needless to say that since all of our attention and focus at the moment and for the next few months if not the entire year will be dedicated to finishing these new albums and then to marketing and touring , the last thing in the world I want to spend any time doing is writing new songs. But what to do when you are able to write new songs as easy as breathing, when it comes that easy to you? You see a guitar, pick it up and bam out comes a song. You sit down at a piano and within minutes I am deeply inside of the inexpressible comfort and pleasure of “new song composition”, completely adrift in it and oblivious to everything else going on around me. Not the most productive way to be when your attention needs to be on marketing and mixing and planning and implementing a new album release.

So when we moved back to New York full-time late last year I decided to store ALL of my musical equipment including all guitars and keyboards in our storage warehouse with our other house items so that way I wouldn’t and couldn’t even be tempted to pick up an instrument and write any songs. For we already have far too many to believe we will ever really be able to get them all recorded. That’s just the hard painful truth of the matter. One that is still hard for me to bare the thought of. Thousands of songs literally equates to hundreds of albums at an average rate of ten songs per album. We’ve done the math. It’s a no-brainer. We will never even come close to recording all the songs that I’ve already written… let alone all the ones that I am destined to still write. In a word, it sucks.

And in that, this strange character trait, this gift as some call it, is (and has always been) both a blessing and a curse. For with each new song that I have composed for years going back and from this day forward I am immediately made aware that one of two not-preferable things will happen: either I am pouring my heart and soul into bringing this song down from the ethers into the earthly realm only for it to sit on paper forever never to be recorded, OR for it to be recorded which instantly mandates that another ten that came before it will suffer the same fate. It is very much like being forced to choose which of your children gets to eat and live a long and prosperous life and which you must starve, knowing that they will surely die never to live a full life or be known by anyone but yourself and never to be known by history.

I’ve played this game with the Divine Force many times before. Refusing to accept the gift and refusing to write any new songs for a while, despite the fact that it is my very nature to do just that more and better than anything else that I do in this life. Sometimes I fear that He/She/It will punish me for my impudence and take away the ease at which I can write a song. But that hasn’t happened yet. Truly I don’t believe that it ever will. For I believe that God knows and understands that I know and understand that my ability to pull these songs out of thin air and bring them to life is as pure an expression of Him/Her/It and their glory more than anything else that I can possibly do or say in this life. They serve through their very existence and how they are brought to being in this world as a glorious reminder of the mystical magical supernatural nature of the Divine Force Itself. My guess is that God gifts every person on earth a special and unique ability such as this as a means to express His/Her/It’s Divinity on earth. Our task is to find what that special gift is and become great at it and share it with the world as a reminder of this powerful connection we share with this mysterious Divine Force that comprises and creates and flows through everything in the known and unknown universe.

But I cannot help but feel impulsively rebellious at times. It is a large task. A time-suck like no other. If I did nothing but sat in a room for 24 hours with a guitar and a piano I would easily be tasked with what I guess would be at least writing fifteen to twenty-five songs in those 24 hours. That’s the easy part…the writing of them… The subtle nature of hearing them come to life in your ears, in your mind’s eye… They already exist… Somewhere else, in some other dimension, and all I am doing is hearing them as they already exist and bringing them down to this earthly dimension so others can hear them. BUT from there there IS still work to do. Flushing out the lyrics. Discovering what THEY wish to be… For they too already exist. Arranging and producing the sound of it. So it is a time consuming burden as much as it is a gift or blessing. But I believe God knows this and accepts that at times I may feel prone to rebel from the obligation.

And such was the case this year as I decided to not bring any instruments with me. And here I have lived now for more than four months without having access to any guitars laying around the house.

But something changed. A few months ago I started having dreams where I would hear these incredible songs — usually it was some random character in my dream performing the song on stage or just sitting there in a room with me and couple of friends or I even hear them on the radio or playing in the air…and then this voice in my head says “Ed you are dreaming. It is you who is writing this song. Wake up and record it NOW. Do not let this song go. Do it now.” So I do just that.

This isn’t the first time this has happened to me. And many other songwriters tell stories of having similar experiences. So I have became accustomed to keeping some type of recorder on my nightstand for just such these occasions. Now I can just use the voice recorder on my iPhone to do this. And so I do. What strikes me most though about this most recent string of new songs is the sheer quantity at which they are coming. Near nightly now. As if God had a leg up on me the whole time and decided “okay then son, if you refuse to pick up an instrument to pick out the songs from the ethers then I will just deliver them to you fully formed in the dreams of your sleep. For that is what is happening now. I hear them fully formed in my head while I am sleeping and I just wake up enough to turn the recorder on and sing them into it. I always listen back to them the next day to see if they are total shite and I was just kidding myself as we are prone to do in our sleep and yet they never are. They are always totally original and beautiful glorious new songs. And yet I have to do absolutely nothing to make them this way. I certainly am not “writing them” or creating them myself. I am simply singing into the voice recorder exactly as I hear it in my dream. It is very close to being almost supernatural. Like channeling. And it leaves me impressed with God’s persistence and ingenuity. And of course with his generosity. I thought I was in control and perhaps had one up on Him, but it turns out that the joke was on me. Truth be told, I am more than fine with this.

– Posted by The Ambassador using the BlogPress app on an iPhone

Removing the Cross from Christendom

In the days before the time of Jesus, when Israel was under roman rule and occupation, killing people was a common practice. One could be executed or “put to death” for any number of countless reasons. (One might observe the similarities to some modern day Middle Eastern countries in today’s world, sadly.) There were used a variety of different methods to torture punish and execute those who broke the law or even just stirred up trouble. One could be stoned to death (yes this practice is still in use today in some parts of the world as shocking as that may seem to those of us in more compassionate and evolved countries…) — as barbaric as that sounds they indeed would literally throw large heavy stones at a person for hours until that person eventually died from the abuse or at least passed out. Beheading was anther popular method. Hanging was another. One of the most common methods used during the time of Roman occupied Israel was what they called crucifixion, whereby a man would have his hands and feet nailed to two planks of wood fashioned together in the form of a cross and be set upright to slowly die from thirst hunger exhaustion bleeding out and/or the grueling effects of gravity’s exertion on the body’s organs, especially the lungs — they would literally die an excruciatingly painful death from being suffocated to death or worse having their organs cave in on themselves. For more details on the practice of crucifixion, google it. It’s quite a feat of human ingenuity and imagination and takes a truly sick mind to come up with.

Crucifixion was so common during the time of Jesus’s day that on any given day up to fifty to (some historians claim) one hundred men would be crucified. Crucifixion simply put was not a special form of execution. It was common practice.

Over the last two-thousand plus years since the death of this man we know as Jesus of Nazareth a slow moving (at first) but heavy handed cult of propaganda has been thrust upon humankind, much of it involuntarily mandatory and by force, which has turned much of the modern population of planet earth into self-professed “Christians” I.e. followers of Jesus. Granted some come to it by choice, while most are simply born into the belief system and never give it a second thought.

One of the many ideas and belief systems that automatically tag along with Christianity is this symbol of the cross, or “crucifix” as it is called by some; in fact many people both christian and non-christian alike would claim that the cross just might be the single most important and enduring symbol representative of the christian faith. Anyone who sees a cross automatically associates it with Christianity. But is this even a desirable reality? That’s the question Christians and the larger governing body should be asking themselves.

We all know why this is. Jesus the man died by execution for blasphemy and heresy at the hands of his own people by being nailed to a cross and crucified. So the cross quickly turned into a symbol of Jesus and his ministry. It was a simple and easy to recognize symbol.

But as explained above this was no singularly important event, this crucifixion of Jesus. Thousands before him died this way. Tens of thousands after him. Hell, Jesus wasn’t even the only man who was crucified that DAY, the one that is now known (ironically) as “Good Friday”. As everyone knows there were three men in total who were beaten tortured and executed by crucifixion that very day, Jesus being just one of them.

There was nothing special about the way Jesus died. On the contrary, it was a rather ordinary and commonplace event. When one studies the life of Jesus one is not impressed by or taken with how he died, but rather with how he lived. There are countless more intriguing stories regarding Jesus than his being one of three “criminals” put to death that day. This is why the event itself is barely allotted even one full sentence in any of the history books we have of that time [See the works of Pliny the Elder or Josephus], and most likely why the event is so casually dismissed and NOT paid attention to by Jews. Jesus was after all a fellow Jew. But to them, from their historic perspective, Jesus from Nazareth was just one of thousands of criminals who was executed during the reign of King Herod. So there isn’t much to pay attention to.

The real meat in the life of Jesus, in the stories and legends that have cropped up over the centuries about this legendary man is to be found in the countless miracles he purportedly performed — healing the sick, giving sight to the blind, walking on water, ESP, telepathy and even bringing the dead back to life. The man was a veritable David Copperfield of his day.

His life, though we know so little of it, is filled with magical stories of truly mythic proportions. And this is where and when one begins to become impressed by him. Get to know him well enough and one can easily be led to swoon, for not only was he a quick wit and a charismatic character, but there is much “magic” surrounding those few years we know of his short ministry. He was both infinitely loving tolerant and compassionate towards others AND vehemently disciplined and dictatorial in his rigorous commitment to what he believed to be his mission and calling by none other than God Him/Her/Itself.

This is no small claim, to assert that one believes they are not only in touch with but being guided by the highest most evolved and primal force in the entire universe who created everything. On several occasions Jesus even claims he was the the “son” of this infinitely powerful, all knowing force. Quite a claim indeed.

Perhaps greatest of all the wondrous miracle stories about Jesus though is this idea that less than 48 hours after he died and was confirmed dead he miraculously came back to life, albeit in a more ethereal and less earthly form. THIS is the event that is celebrated around the world on the day known as Easter Sunday. Jesus’s alleged Reserection from the dead. Depending on whose account you read or believe he “rose from the dead” and appeared before many of his disciples over a period of days — some say 40 and others say up to 300; he even still purportedly had the holes in his hands from where they hammered the nails through them some stories claim. Others say he appeared more like a ghostly apparition. But most accounts claim he stayed here on earth after he arose from the dead to preach a bit more and hand out certain orders from God and then he disappeared — as it was retold by witnesses and then embellished over centuries by the Roman Empire, a group not exactly immune to gross exaggeration and fairytale-like hyperbole, he reportedly ascended (as in magically floated up in the air) into “heaven” to sit at the right hand of his father (that would be God… Just where God keeps these chairs and what keeps them afloat is still a mystery…) — never to be seen or heard from again.

Before doing this he promised to return one day and save us all (believers that is…) from a hell on earth that would be flat out apocalyptic. (Are we there yet? It sure feels as though we are. But then again it probably felt that way during the Great Plague or the Dark Ages or The Inquisition or during any number of World Wars we’ve had the pleasure of enduring due to a few overly ambitious selfish and greedy assholes). Hence the whole “Jesus is going to come back (“the second coming” as its called — perhaps because fundamentalist Christians don’t stress the importance of secular education very much — subjects like math and science — it would actually be his third coming if we are going to be literal) –once the great temple in Israel is rebuilt… Bumper stickers referring to “The Rapture” or “End Times” are also related to this idea.

If all that isn’t enough to render the actual crucifixion a rather mundane event, Jesus is also credited for completely reforming humanity’s conception of God and Divinity. A simple examination comparing the God of the Torah and Old Testament with the NEW God Jesus speaks of in the New Testament shows a completely evolved, nearly transcendent idea of divinity itself — more akin to the Godhead of Eastern religions of the day or even the Buddha — compassionate, infinitely loving and tolerant, intelligent, no more playing favorites or being wrathful or vengeful, as compared with the overtly human God of the Old Testament, savage and barbaric and filled with human attributes and weaknesses. Jesus was killed precisely for these reasons. He was if anything a revolutionary and a visionary — in addition to his more mysteriously magical abilities.

It is for these reasons that the cross should not only NOT be the most important and significant symbol of the christian faith as it is today, but it should not even be a symbol of Christendom at all. The cross that Jesus was hung on, just like all the other alleged criminals of his day, is a small detail of the bigger picture, just as an image of a hangman’s noose would be had Jesus been hung rather than crucified. Not only is the focus inherently turned toward something mundane for the time and the larger scope of things, but it is also a rather violent, gory and negative aspect of the Jesus story when considering how overtly positive the story really is. In reality isn’t the whole idea of the christian Faith tradition a celebration of the miracles, the message and the Reserection of Jesus? And not his unfortunate death or how he died? Those are mere sidebars when compared to what impresses the most about the man, his message or his myriad works of miracles.

The cross may be simple and easy to recognize, but that doesn’t and shouldn’t automatically qualify it to be the grand and perfect symbol that it’s become of Christianity.

Some modern day pastors, especially the more “Fundamentalist” oriented, and even some theologians may argue that the most important aspect of Jesus’s life was and still is the crucifixion because of this concept put forth by Calvin and Luther called Substitution — the idea that “humanity is inherently so sinful so as to not be good or righteous enough to have a direct relationship with God, and thus needed Jesus to act as a substitute for us, to die on the cross as a sacrifice to atone for the “sins of man”, and as much as I get this idea and appreciate the beauty of it — Jesus became in essence “a new sacrificial lamb” rendering the regular sacrificing of animals to God unnecessary, thereby creating a new covenant between God and humankind — I do not believe that it is inherently necessary as a Christian (or any other religion for that matter) to believe the idea that humankind is born eternally sinful so as to not be able to experience a direct relationship with God or The Divine on their own.

Of course I make this claim AFTER the fact. I am well aware of this potential irony. Jesus has already performed this action some two-thousand years ago and therefore I am speaking from my own personal experiences of my relationship with The Divine now, after he did this; therefore I cannot possibly relate to what humankind’s relationship with God was like before Jesus’s death. But I would submit that God, if there is one — and because I have had so many personal tangible experiences with this Divine Force we call God, I can easily and confidently claim to know there is — is much bigger than most people give Him/Her/It credit.

While it is true that some people stay focused on and nearly obsessed with their own inherent sinfulness and therefore the Substitution, sacrifice and Atonement aspect of Jesus, this is strictly their trip and as much as they’re entitled to it, it certainly doesn’t have to apply to all of us. Jesus himself when speaking of God drew from such a deeper more evolved enlightened and intelligent viewpoint that he essentially retired this old fashioned idea of a God who is “too good for us lowly humans” from mass consciousness.

This is not to say that there is no credence or relevance to the sacrifice that Jesus the man made when choosing to be executed when he obviously could have so easily escaped or fought back successfully — he was after all the most God-like being in human form that history has ever known, quite possibly he may have literally been “THE God” in human form as he occasionally hinted he might have been. So his execution via crucifixion was clearly his deliberate plan and doing, and not the doing of others — regardless of how much those who did the deed believe they were actually responsible for it. (They’re kidding themselves). He was well versed in the prophecies of the Torah and the Prophets and he planned and executed a very direct path of actions and events that literally fulfilled those prophecies of the coming Messiah of the Jewish people to a tee. [If this is a subject that interests you there are several books — or probably now even websites — that delve into the life of Jesus directly as each event in his life specifically correlates to a prophecy that was predicted and written about hundreds of years before bis birth. Right down to his execution and even HOW he was executed AND his subsequent Reserection.]

So clearly Jesus, after much time attempting to change the hearts and minds of his fellow Judeans through his message and the example of his actions turned out unsuccessful, decided at some point that he would venture down this alternative path of mass atonement of humankind’s sins through his own sacrifice — even though he was flat out telling people for years the good news that God did indeed forgive them automatically because He loved them so much, all they had to do was ask for it and it would be granted; but they just didn’t get it… And then of course to really hammer the idea home he went further and resurrected from the dead.

After all (one is sure he probably thought at the time) who would not be shifted changed mesmerized convinced or transformed through witnessing a man transcend death itself? If it happened in modern times it would be hard to imagine anyone not being completely transformed by witnessing or even hearing about such an event. And yet as we know from history itself the political powers that be in the Jewish religion in Jesus’s time were either too frightened of the repercussions of admitting to owning such a miraculous event OR too pissed off at Jesus for his version of Messiahness being so different than theirs: they were looking for a very primitively temporal and human freedom from bondage and enslavement and instead he offered a much larger version of this idea of freedom.

The truth is we will never know exactly why they decided to kill a man as innocent and harmless as Jesus and save a man as sinister and wicked as Barabas, because we weren’t there. And there exists no known notes from those times, at least none that the Jewish religion has ever released publicly, that explain the reasons for their actions or even their feelings about the incident. Mum has always been the word from the Jewish people regarding Jesus. As stated above already, as far as they are concerned he was “just another criminal who deserved to be executed.”

But even if every single thing that happened to Jesus throughout his short life on earth was preordained by a higher power and even he himself was aware of what was to come and planned it all out — including the crucifixion and Reserection, one still finds that the method of execution was by and large nothing more than a mere sidebar compared to the bigger picture of his message and actions and therefore the cross is simply too simple and too irrelevant a symbol to represent the immense proportions and importance of what Christianity means today. Im not saying it will be easy to create another symbol that better represents the life and message of Jesus. I’m simply saying that it’s well past time for all of us to transcend the symbolism of this simple image and create something else that is a better more relevant fit.

– Posted by The Ambassador using BlogPress on an iPhone

What the Afterlife is Like

I’ve said it before and will continue to say it until the majority realize it: atheists are just as zealot, just as religious as religionists such as Christians or Hindus or Muslims. They have no proof for what they believe. Only an idea of the absence of proof on the other side. Therefore their entire belief structure is based on faith.

The biggest misconception that both atheists and religionists have is this ignorant and stubborn idea of exclusivity, assuming if one belief is correct then another is false. In reality the universe is nothing but consciousness, and as such it is large enough to hold all realities as true simultaneously. Therefore what happens to a person after death is entirely up to them. Whatever they believe will happen happens. For those still pondering what the afterlife is like, they should look no further than their own personal beliefs. Some will choose heaven. Some reincarnation. Some will choose hell. Some will choose complete disintegration because they don’t believe in an afterlife. Some like myself may choose to “stay open; surprise me!” and that’s precisely what they will experience. Their experience of the afterlife will be determined based on an amalgamation of ideas that ring the most true or real to their own belief system.

Down deep within us, within our own consciousness, in that special place where very few others have ever been permitted to experience, is our own personal treasure chest of truths, what we really believe without pretense fear or conceit. Sometimes they are closer to hopes and desires rather than pure beliefs (a pure belief being something one claims is true that ranks very high on their conviction scale). At times a belief can be less solidified and feel more like a strong desire or hope. But if there is less resistance to it than desire for it then it will ring true for that individual as a belief. In that place where we hold these most cherished ideas and ideals lay some of our most important beliefs. Even though consciously we prefer to claim something else — such as “I am not sure what happens to us after death” — most of us have already crafted a very precise narrative and framework for what we desire or hope the afterlife will be/is like. It is from there, with the beliefs that compose that narrative, that framework, that the reality of our experience of the afterlife will manifest. So even if our conscious idea is “I am not sure what it will be like”, down deep we have already formed an idea of it. More than an idea as mentioned.

While it is true that we may be more prone to a vectoring of several different cosmological ideas — both a heaven AND the possibility of reincarnation if we so choose but ONLY after we meet and converse with something that “appears to be Divine” based on our preconceived notions of what Divine means to us — compared to someone else who is more certain of one possible outcome, i.e. “I will go to heaven” or “I will turn to ashes and nothing shall remain of me for I have no soul”, but we will still experience exactly what we believe we will experience. For as soon as consciousness gives something thought, it appears to give it life; or at least the possibility of life, whatever that reality happens to be.

Of course there are those who will claim that this is impossible. That they could easily create a world in the afterlife comprised of dancing pink elephants and jellybeans who rule this world and that they don’t believe that reality would manifest for them. And they would be right. Because they are just talking, thinking, pontificating, playing with ideas. They no more believe that scenario than anyone else. There is a difference between what we “really believe” and what we discuss academically when playing in thought or imagination. That is why it is important to have a system with which we can access our deepest i.e. most seemingly true beliefs. Not just so we have a means to explore who we are –for what are we but the combination of everything we believe –and to communicate that to others sincerely rather from pretense, but also so we can deliberately change who we are based on changing these beliefs when we so desire to.

The operating word being “choose”. For the choice is theirs, based on what they choose to believe. The only problem is that most people still desire for everyone else to believe as they do, wrongly believing that there is only one potential reality post-death, one truth regarding the spirit, when in reality there are infinite possibilities, just as consciousness itself is infinite.

The question that boggles my mind still quite regularly is how long is it going to take humankind to get to the point where the majority understand this? For surely as soon as this idea is accepted as truth then we can all get to the business of repairing the world and stop fighting over which religion or religious viewpoint is right or wrong.

This is the latest, and the most succinct manner in which to describe it, re cosmology that has come to me. More later.

– Posted by The Ambassador using BlogPress on an iPhone 8s Custom

Suicide Solution

The living may not “like” it, but suicide is not necessarily “bad or “wrong”…


Hold on to your bootstraps because we’re going to rapid-fire this one, due to the fact that my wife has issued a personal challenge to me to finish at least one of the 22 different books I’ve started in the course of my short adventurous life. I’ve always maintained that “writing” — proper writing or authoring of proper books and such, is “something I will do when I am older”. To me it was enough to take plenty of notes on each and every book that came to me, a discipline that I’ve stuck with diligently for more than twenty years now. I do everything necessary to eventually write the book at some point. Except actually write it. I just always figured that writing was something I would fall back on once I got too old to make music for a living. But for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that making music for a living has fast become an oxymoron due to ever increasing faltering sales and revenue growth in general in the music business; it would appear that “when I’m older” time period I envisioned for the last twenty years or so may have finally arrived to the here-now.

I must admit, I mean it’s only fair, that it does seem a bit odd that some of these 22 odd books that I have completed in various stages and have up to 400 or more pages typed within them — (thousands in the case of The Adventures of Fishy series…) and I have still yet to complete or release one of them. THIS is what so confounds my wife. And I can totally understand her frustration. Especially since I still find time to write in these here Transcendence Diaries on a regular basis. Ahhhh, I’d be a very rich man indeed if I had a nickel for every time over the last year or two Princess Little Tree has said to me “if you would just write the exact same number of pages in one or more of your books as you write in your Diaries every week, then you’d be finished with half the books already! Maybe all of them! So just get to it boy!” And i fully admit that I see the logic in that.

Though you’ve heard me say this before… I don’t just enjoy writing the Transcendence Diaries. I need to write them. There’s something very therapeutic about the process for me. Yes it’s occurred to me more than once that there is probably a lot more money in finishing small to medium sized books than there are in these Diaries… (the fact is there is very little to no money to be made in a blog — especially the kind of non-commercial, not-sponsored one that I demand to run). It’s also occurred to me that there may be something of an “instant gratification fix” to these Diaries that I wouldn’t necessarily be able to obtain from finishing a book. After all, I am able to write these entries in ONE sitting, anywhere from 500 to 5,000 words, and release it all in one go of it. From thought to expression in a matter of minutes to hours. One fulfilling mental and emotional release. No need to ever go back and review or edit or amend. And certainly no concern for readability or demographics or target audience or the potential for publication or other mass consumption worries. It’s a very selfish endeavor, I admit. But again… it’s MY endeavor. And in years or decades from now, when they look back and say “you know there wasn’t one damned thing he DIDN’T write about in all those years in those damn Diaries?!” my ghost, wherever it shall be, will surely be smiling. Maintaining these Transcendence Diaries over the last 13 years has been a thoroughly satisfying process.

But alas it is true. I have promised to complete at least one or more of the books this summer. So I am trying my best to refrain from coming here to whittle away the hours in self obsession. But sometimes I just have to. Right this very minute is one of those moments. And I’ll tell you why.


Over the last few days the world of social media has lit up in a way that we have NEVER seen before. It could be because of the subject matter — namely the death of Robin Williams, OR it could just be that we are presently peaking in the social media aspect of the Personal Expression Age. My guess is that it’s a little bit of both. But for whatever reason, social media is abuzz with posts and articles related in one way or another to Robin Williams and his alleged “suicide”. Today I was studying a graph that showed that there were over 5,000 articles a day being released online in the United States related to Robin Williams on Tuesday and Wednesday. That figure has calmed down over the last 48 hours. To a mere 2,000 or so. Still an amazing quantity of information and opinion being created over one subject.

For me personally the most heinous aspect — and there have been many — of this phenomenon has been the number of people who have felt compelled to come on one platform or another and bitch about how “selfish or cowardly Robin Williams is for committing suicide”. I know I know… People don’t have anything better to do, and God bless them for having a platform to express their emotions. Lord only knows how these impassioned feelings would be expressed if it weren’t for social media. Things could be a lot worse. People are FEELING a lot right now and need to get it out. People just want to have a voice.

After all, THIS is exactly what the Personal Expression Age is all about — giving people a voice who never have had one historically and would normally never have one. Lord knows I appreciate that aspect of the Age. I think it’s more than healthy. For ALL of us. Especially for those who would otherwise be victims of those who can’t find any other vehicle for their emotional need to vent. But this one meme, the idea of Williams somehow being wrong or bad or irresponsible or at fault because he decided to choose suicide is really rubbing me the wrong way. For several different reasons, not just one.

Before we go there though, let us first just collectively vent how annoying this new fad of coming onto social media and giving speeches about depression and addiction has become. My God. What an obnoxious craze this is. As if all of a sudden, literally overnight, everybody and their brother is an expert in mental health. I think we can all agree that engaging in an intelligent discourse about depression is healthy for the country and for our species in general. God knows we’ve hit some bumps in the road with it in the past. Remember that whole Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields fiasco a few years ago? But this has gotten way out of hand. All of a sudden everyone is an expert on depression. Shooting out hotline numbers and even their own cell phone numbers, saying things like “I promise I’ll take your call and get you through the night to the next day.” I’m not making this up. I’ve read this more than once. If you’re alive and breathing, surely you too have been reading the same type of posts or similar ones.

Besides just being generally annoying, can we step back for a moment and acknowledge that we don’t even know the real story yet regarding how Williams died? Sure his wife and publicist ran for the throttle in order to control how the story was going to be told. Whose family wouldn’t? Especially when dealing with a franchise as large and profitable as Williams’ is. So they’ve got the whole world discussing “depression” before we even have ample evidence of HOW he died. Yes they claim it was “suicide”… But considering the other options, as non-preferable as suicide is, it surely seems the better option. Better than “he was really high and just screwing around” or “accidental asphyxiation” or “accidental death due to drug overdose”. All of which are perfectly legitimate options still. The truth is we just won’t know until the whole story comes out. And that’s IF and WHEN the whole story comes out, IF it ever does.

Another question that comes to mind is this one: Where the hell was Williams’ wife during those 14 hours that he was allegedly alone in the house? She immediately posted that she lost her “husband and best friend” after his death was announced, and we know that he was in rehab at the time for possibly regressing back to “using”; so what kind of wife or “best friend” goes to bed at 10 PM, wakes up in the morning and leaves the house to “run errands” without first checking in on her husband who’s STILL IN rehab for substance abuse? Especially if they’re “best friends”? And especially if he “was suffering from severe depression” as she is so wanting to make sure the public is aware of?

I must admit that I personally have had a tough time with just the story that she “went to bed in another room and left Williams by himself in his office at 10 PM”. Even that seems strange for a married couple. Especially when one of them is so apparently “sick”. And especially if they are “best friends”. I know my wife and I have never encountered that scenario in all our years of marriage. If I ever regressed in my staying off of drugs you better believe that there isn’t a chance in hell that Princess Little Tree would ever leave me alone in my office at 10 o’clock at night and go to bed without making sure that I came to bed with her. And let’s say that they had some sort of altercation or argument in that moment, as some have suggested — she was mad and went to bed by herself alone and hurt, one would think that she would still come straight to his room in the morning just to see what he was doing or how he was doing, considering that he was officially checked into a rehab facility at the time. ESPECIALLY if he was “severely depressed” as she claims.

Frankly the whole story just doesn’t vibe. Now that we have had some time to recover from the shock of it all, the pieces of the puzzle just aren’t adding up. But eventually I am sure we will learn what really happened. Like many, I personally am not expecting a clean toxicology report. In fact, I admit that I believe that part of me is maybe even HOPING for some substances to be in his body just to make sense of the whole thing… I assume this is just denial on my part. A hidden desire to not believe that Williams was THAT depressed and THAT discouraged… to have gone THAT far. Suicide seems so drastic major and final.

The whole affair seems a bit like Williams’ wife and publicist got together very quickly over the phone to strategically plan HOW they would spin the discussion around his death. And to be fair, they’ve done’ a fantastic job of it so far. The whole country is busy talking about “depression” instead of any of the other details regarding the case like where SHE was, or more importantly where she wasn’t; and why the hell was Williams found in such a strange position? Seated but with a belt around his neck for God’s sake? And we’re supposed to believe this was a suicide? But he was seated?

One would think that if he really intended suicide that he would have implemented a more elegant way to do it, especially someone of his wealth. He could have easily obtained — most likely already had in his possession — plenty of pharmaceuticals to do the trick in a much cleaner manner. IF this was deliberate. So why the belt around the neck? Seated in a chair? Seriously? Suicide? I don’t know… Just seems a bit sketchy. Suicides for people in Williams’ position are usually of the cleaner more elegant pharmaceutical kind. A belt around the neck sounds more like what you me and everyone else doesn’t care to admit: that he was high, got a little screwed up in the head, was just fucking around and next thing you know he stopped breathing and didn’t know it.

But even if it WAS that, how and why would we love the man any less? That’s what gets me about all these self righteous know it alls popping up all of a sudden making all these claims that they suddenly dislike Williams because of how he died. Fucking a talk about fair weather friends. If you WERE a fan, then why not be a FAN now? What’s the difference? Whether he did it on purpose or he was just fucking around and killed himself by accident, either way it’s sad if you’re a fan or even just a compassionate human being.

Let us say that we believe the current narrative. Just out of respect for the deceased if for no other reason. What the hell is wrong with these people coming on social media saying that they “don’t respect Robin Williams anymore” or “will never look at him the same way now” or “his legacy will always be tainted now in my book”. These are all direct quotes of things I’ve read online over the last 48 hours from various people. Some more than others are writing lengthy rants about how deathly tragic the situation is AND at the same time demonizing Williams for choosing to commit suicide. They’ve fallen for the story hook line and sinker AND have now taken to being judge and jury about the ethical and criminal nature of suicide, some calling it “cowardly”, others calling it “the most selfish act someone can take”, and still others claiming that “murder is a crime, so isn’t it just as criminal to kill one’s self?” I am not making this up. Human beings continue to amaze with their short-sightedness, ignorance and arrogance.

Before we go demonizing Robin Williams for “choosing” suicide, we need to first be sure that that’s what happened. But let’s say that we just assume it is, out of respect for him and his family… IF that’s truly what transpired, shouldn’t we examine the finer points of the matter of suicide first? Before we go casting judgment?

Number one, since when did we collectively decide that LIFE, or being alive here in this form on planet earth, was the end-all be-all BEST option for everyone? You may have to step back for this one, but think about it: WE the living only know life, so we choose to believe that “life” is the best of all possible worlds for ourselves and everyone else. But do we really KNOW this for sure? That “life” in this form is the best of all possible options?

If we can all admit that we have no idea what else may possibly lay on the other side of death…. then perhaps everyone would quiet down and contemplate more how Williams and plenty of others were feeling at the time of their “suicide”…. Perhaps they were thinking that life on the other side might be better than it is here. We really don’t know without a suicide note of some kind. We can only guess. And at best we can give the person at least a wee bit of the benefit of the doubt.

Let’s be honest, almost everyone claims to believe in some kind of an “afterlife”. Most people choose to believe in a GOOD afterlife of some kind in fact, something akin to “heaven” or nirvana or “union with God or The Divine” usually. So the question is, what would be so bad about that? What would be so bad about a person choosing to go to heaven a few years early if that’s what they so decide?

Even if someone doesn’t believe in heaven but instead believes in an afterlife comprised of some kind of a spirit world, or an afterlife as a waiting station for reincarnation… all of these different options still present a relatively healthy alternative to suffering here on earth. IF we’re to assume that Williams really committed suicide, then we are to assume he did it for a good reason.

(Unless he was just really fucked up and not thinking straight. Now I know… Plenty of people have been writing long blog posts and articles and status updates about how “irrational people get when they are plagued with the disease of depression” And that may be so. Lord knows I’ve had my share of severe battles with depression through the years. It’s a horrible monster. As if our own mind is our enemy — because no matter what we are doing or what we take, we just always feel “sad” or worthless or devastated or discouraged…. as if life is unbearable and we’d be happier dead than alive. Yep. Been there. More than once. I get it. But let’s give the guy some credit. He was working. He was functional. He was just at an art gallery exhibit the day before hobnobbing with the locals. If he made the decision to commit suicide — which again, is a big IF, who are we to say that he’s irresponsible, selfish, or even “wrong” in his decision? We just can’t. Because we aren’t HIM.)

The truth is we have NO idea what lay on the other side of “death”. So all we’re really doing is lamenting the fact that the person is “not here for us” any longer. THAT’S what’s really going on. We aren’t sad for those we lost to suicide. We’re sad for ourselves. We believe that what they did is “wrong”, one, because we are going to miss them — they cut their own life short and therefore cut the time WE will have with them short, and two, because of the stigma attached to suicide. People still judge suicide to be bad or wrong or sinful in some way. So they often judge people who commit suicide in a negative light. And so too the loved ones who are left behind. As if they have to live in a nasty world for the rest of their lives where everyone is talking about them behind their backs. But truth be told this is ONLY because we are pretending that because we are ALIVE that being alive is the best of all possible worlds, totally forgetting to consider that death may be not only a viable option for some — someone who is terminally ill or in pain for example, but might even be a better place than being HERE NOW. WE just don’t know. Someone who commits suicide –depending on their belief system or religious faith tradition — may hold a belief that life after death may be a groovier place than life here on earth. They may believe that their soul disconnects from their body and floats off to “be with God” for an eternity. And being that beliefs create experience, who are WE to deny them that reality? Just because WE may not believe that? I call bullshit.

In terms of suicide being cowardly, says who? For some it may seem cowardly… IF they are coming from the viewpoint that “life is hard yeah sometimes it really sucks but you just HAVE TO endure it no matter what and if you don’t then you’re a pussy” I suppose. But really…. says who? That may be one person’s viewpoint, but it certainly isn’t everyone else’s. And to assume so is just yet another example of the short-sighted arrogance of many human beings currently walking the planet making life unbearable for the rest of us because they are constantly assuming THEIR viewpoint is the only one and should apply to every one else. Someone else may consider suicide to be the bravest thing one can ever fathom doing. Frankly I have always tended to lean in this direction, personally feeling that suicide would be a terribly frightening thing to do; I would be way too scared myself to commit suicide. It sounds extremely frightening to me. And therefore I do not see how a person would be cowardly to do it. I am unsure as to how someone else could possibly label another person a coward for doing it. It is obviously a major life decision, and like most major life decisions there doesn’t seem to be anything cowardly about it.


Now I know that many of the people who are labeling suicide “cowardly” are doing so because they are self-described atheists. It isn’t the absence of a God or creator that is operating here as much as an absence of belief in any kind of afterlife. To them, suicide literally means “the end of it all”, as in nothing left, it’s over, the person is gone forever. They hold a view that after life there is literally “nothingness” or “just ashes” once one passes from these mortal coils. And yes we must acknowledge that there are plenty of people who now who hold this belief to be true. They ONLY believe in THIS life and that’s it. Which is perfectly acceptable if that’s what serves THEM. It just doesn’t mean that it applies to others. Human consciousness is large enough to encompass ALL possible beliefs that human beings can come up with. And even more. ALL of them have the potential to be “true” and possible. The truth is that we just don’t know yet WHAT lies beyond human consciousness once the body ceases to exist. But to those who choose to wholeheartedly subscribe to this idea that they definitely KNOW that NOTHING exists beyond human consciousness in a body, yes, one can see that to take one’s life through suicide may seem cowardly — as it’s a final act that literally leads to “nothingness”. It’s as if it’s “an easy way out” because once you make that final decision and have breathed your last breath, that’s it, the whole kit and caboodle is over. No more pain, no more responsibility, no more struggle or heartache or depression.

But here’s the deal: SO WHAT? So what if that’s what a person decides is best for them? Who are we to declare that they’ve made the wrong decision? After all it’s THEIR life, is it not? Again, I get the feeling that the primary motivating force for those holding this viewpoint is that THEY want the person to stay alive for THEM — regardless of how much struggle or pain or heartache this person may be going through or enduring. They don’t care. They just feel that this other person — the one in pain — owes it to them to stay alive and endure anything and everything just so they can be there for THEM. So in reality it is really the person wanting the person to hang on that is being selfish; NOT the person wanting to commit suicide. They’re thrusting their own views about life onto others because they desire certain people to “stay alive” for THEIR sakes and for THEIR pleasure or happiness, and they’ll do and say anything to try to do this. They’ll tell the person “life is a precious gift” or “you owe it to the ones you love to stay alive as long as you can” etc etc. But these are all just stories, myths, fabrications all in the name of attempting to keep another person alive so YOU can get out of them whatever it is that you believe you’re getting out of them. You’re not really thinking about the other person or what is best for THEM. You’re making their life all about YOU.

So much for the argument that “suicide is the most selfish act a person can make”. Hey maybe it is. It’s certainly major and final. That’s for sure. But if there’s one thing we learn along the path of life out of all the myriad lessons obtained it is that only WE are ultimately responsible for ourselves. No one else is going to be there for us the way that we are. No one else is going to help us as much as we are going to need and have to. No one is going to be there for us as loyally as we are. And NO ONE is going to feel our pain or our struggle as much as we are. It is true, we DON’T have a choice in being born or not. It’s something that is thrown at us indiscriminately without our say in the matter. Then as we’re growing up everyone around us is constantly saying things like “life is such a blessing”, “we should feel so blessed to have the gift of life”…. When in reality, for some, for many millions and millions of people being born all over the world every minute of every day, life is pure hell from the moment they are born till the moment they breathe their last breath of relief.

We have no choice in being born into this life; we try our best to make it enjoyable, or for many just “bearable”. That doesn’t sound like a gift or a blessing to me. It sounds like what it really is. Random obligation of necessity. A spin of the wheel and out we pop and we are expected to not only do well at it, but to enjoy it and even consider it “a blessing”. It’s funny when you start to look at life more realistically. It ain’t as black and white as everyone would like.

With the fact that we had no choice in being born in the first place, no choice in who our family is, or where we grow up or who we grow up with, the one thing we SHOULD have a choice in is when and how we die. And one thing we DO know is that we have fought very hard over the centuries to secure for ourselves a certain level of freedom and liberty. At the very least each of us should be permitted the freedom and liberty to decide what WE want to do with OUR life, or our death to be more exact. That should be one of the most basic freedoms of any “free” society. And in many countries it is. This whole idea that “taking someone else’s life is murder and illegal, so why shouldn’t taking one’s own life be considered murder and be illegal” is a ridiculous non-sequitor. It’s completely illogical. So that shouldn’t even be something being discussed. And it is true that only the greatest of fools are saying it. Suicide is frowned upon in society because it seems to go against our most basic primordial survival instincts. But we aren’t animals struggling in the jungle to keep the species alive anymore. We’ve evolved. We’ve transcended mere survival. In fact one could easily argue that we have evolved to a state at this point that transcends “survival” being priority number one. Perhaps self determinism is priority number one now at this stage in our evolution as a species. And rule numero uno of self determinism surely is the freedom to decide is we want to be alive or not and for how long.


Granted, it IS terribly sad for those left behind. That’s a given. It’s downright tragic for them. But see, our presence here is a GIFT to those around us — IF we’re so blessed to have people around us who care for us that much, but it’s NOT a guarantee. Our presence here is not guaranteed and it certainly isn’t meant to be forever. The truth is there’s just no guarantee about anything regarding our lives here, nor the lives of others. So any amount of time we have to spend with those we love is a gift and a blessing. And if one day one of us decides that we are thoroughly finished with being alive here in this form and on this planet, so be it. That’s a decision that only we can decide for ourselves, each of us on our own, in our own way and in our own time.

The idea of Living Wills as an example address this issue squarely and directly. The basic idea of them is that while we’re alive and healthy and fully cognizant we create a Living Will that states what our loved ones should do with us in case we should ever become physically or mentally incapacitated; whether or not we should be placed on life support and for how long etc. These are decisions that are regularly suggested by medical doctors for everyone of sound mind and body to make AND to put it in writing. So if a person does get into an accident and tragically gets put into a vegetative state mentally or is unable to move or function physically, it is THEY who make the decision whether or not they are left for years on a hospital bed hooked up to a bunch of wires and machines, OR if the plugs are pulled and they are left to pass away quickly and quietly in a more natural manner. Everyone in civilized societies across the globe agrees that this is the “right thing to do”. (Whether or not it is, I cant say for sure. I can see arguments for both sides equally. But that isn’t the point.) The fact of the matter is that we have already reached this state of civilized self realization and self determinism. Good.

So why shouldn’t that same person, being of sound mind and body, be able to make that decision in cases where they are NOT in a coma or a vegetative state? Let us say that in the case of Robin Williams that he was just overtly depressed — and again we have no proof of this yet… or, as his wife now implies, that he “recently learned that he had Parkinsons Disease” and THAT was the reason that he decided to end his life early… again we just don’t know for sure — but let us say that he just decided that he didn’t want to live like that anymore… Should that decision of whether or not he lives be up to us? Or up to his family? Or up to him? I’d submit that every time no matter how many times the question is posed that that decision should solely and wholly be HIS decision and no one else’s to make. And the same for every and any one else in the world we live in.

I’m as shocked and saddened by Robin Williams’ death and the WAY in which he went as anyone else. In fact I have been surprised by how hard the news was for me, and the after shock. But I am certainly not feeling any negative feelings towards the man. Not labeling him irresponsible or selfish or cowardly or weak or anything else of that nature. If anything I remain intrigued by the details surrounding the event and especially concerning his decision IF it turns out that that’s what really happened. I am curious as to what he’s presently experiencing, if anything. Did he get to meet the Big Man or the Divine Mother? Did he turn into an angel and is currently floating around the earthly realm caring for those in need and making other angels laugh in hysterics with his latest impersonation of the Archangel Gabriel? If he burning in hell as punishment for taking his own life as the Catholics propose? Is he laying in wait in some strange state of limbo or Purgatory? Or has he already reincarnated and is celebrating his one month old birthday in Korea or Paraguay or Zimbabwe? If so, is he funny? Is he even human? Or is he a cow or a dog or a fruit fly? We don’t know. Truth is, we have no freaking clue. For all we know he could just be dead, done, finished, over, mission complete. Regardless of what happened to the man or where he is or isn’t, that isn’t our business, but only his. And that is what we call a truly free democratic point of view. People need to step off their soap boxes and back away from their homemade pulpits and just allow the man and his work to breathe a little. He gave us so much for so long. That’s the least that we can do in return.

Yours truly, sincerely and very much still alive,

AKA The Ambassador,
AKA Ed Hale

The Difference Between Healthy Fantasy and Dangerous Cults

A group of wide-eyed young Mormons stopped by the other day. I couldn’t help but come into contact with them, for I was already outside, doing some writing and enjoying a good cigar. They seemed like nice enough guys and there was no way I was going to get away with not at least having to say hello to them. They come through our neighborhood at least once every few weeks. From the outside they seem like just about as normal and average American youth as you can get. Well-attired, clean cut, polite and friendly. Regardless of what I was doing, and no matter how much I really didn’t want to engage with these kids — for I was deeply immersed in what I was doing at the time, there was just no way I was going to get away with not at least saying hello to them. And so I did. Though I didn’t look up from my laptop, figuring that might be an easy fix to not having to engage fully with them for an extended period of time. I am well aware that the majority of people these pubescent traveling missionaries come into contact with on the streets and in the neighborhoods of modern America avoid them like the plague, and though I get that — no one invites them into their space; they are by all accounts unwelcomed invaders into our personal space in this very modern world — I also see the advantage of unplanned spontaneous person to person contact with strangers now and then. We just never know when the universe is going to drop some unexpected miracle into our lives. How else would we know of it unless we stay open enough to allow such occurrences to transpire occasionally?

So rather than shoo these short haired, short-sleeve starched-white shirt wearing boys away as most people tend to do, I felt the least I could do was be polite, say hello back to them & listen to what they had to say. I did warn them that if their intention was to stay committed to the faith of their upbringing that speaking to me would be the last thing in the world that they should probably do. But they laughed off my warning and came over to where I was sitting. Frankly once we were past the uncomfortable tension of me calling out how ridiculous the very foundation of the Mormon religion is, I enjoyed our ensuing conversation and their company. I was intrigued and impressed with their youthful vigor and their eager longing to proselytize what they take to be the “Word of God”. The whole time of course I was very very aware that in reality the beliefs and so called doctrines of the Church of the Latter Day Saints (it’s formal name) is nothing but the word of a shameless, ego-maniacal huckster pathologically addicted to not telling the truth, the infamous Joseph Smith.

If you aren’t familiar with this particular “religion”, do yourself a favor and check into it. At least enough to know what it is and what it’s about. It’s important. Even if you aren’t a religious or spiritual person, remember for a moment that former U.S. presidential candidate Mitt Romney is a Mormon. So too is Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. Mormonism, or LDS as it is called for short, is a surprisingly widespread and popular religion in the United States, especially in the West. If it were your average run of the mill Christian denomination, with a shade or two of different colors splashed here or there for texture, ala Methodists or Baptists, one might not feel that it would matter that much. America for better or worse is still largely a Christian nation (albeit with plenty of dissension and “texture” to be sure), and we assume that no matter what one calls it, it still falls under the Judeo-Christian-Muslim monotheistic God category. There’s a certain safety in that I suppose — (but from a larger perspective, considering how much pain and suffering Christianity has caused humanity through its history, I’m not so sure that this safety is implicitly warranted…) But there’s a certain safety even in finding out someone is a self-professed atheist or agnostic. At least we know where they stand. We know they’re intelligent and that they’ve got their head on straight and can think for themselves.

But here’s the rub: Mormonism is no average, run of the mill Christian denomination. In fact, it’s not even a Christian religion. I had always heard rumors. Attempted to read the Book of Mormon a few times. Found the basic premise of the first few pages ridiculous, so I always put it down rather quickly. But this time, I was so moved by my encounter with these young men and their sincerity, I promised them that I would look into it more. And look into I did. I easily spent 40 hours researching the Mormon faith, it’s history, it’s dogma and doctrines. They seemed so absolutely sold on it. Maybe there was something there I thought…. As always I left no stone unturned. But what I continued to find was shocking. A far more complicated and convoluted belief system than your average Hollywood SciFi movie frankly. All sorts of gods living on different planets with strange made up names roaming through space, each taking multiple wives. Real crackpot stuff. Similar to both Scientology and the Jehova’s Witness organizations. Fantasy stuff. But with one difference: it is said to be and purported to be “the word of God”.

[With Mormonism this is an oxymoron, because they don’t actually believe in ONE god, but many gods who at one point “created” the one god most of humanity is familiar with, Elohim. SO this is clearly not even a monotheistic religion number one and therefore they cannot purport that their texts are “the word of god”. We would constantly have to be asking them “which GOD is this the word of?” The other problem here is that we know academically, based on the etymology of the word “Elohim”, that it is a plural word and was originally meant to describe multiple gods, not just “one” god. Going all the way back to the Sumerian culture. This is THE basic problem with almost all things Mormon: the large majority of it’s doctrinal beliefs stem from supposed visions that their “prophet” Joseph Smith had back in the 1830s when there was no internet and well, you could possibly fool some of the people all of the time…. But in this day and age, scholars have discovered that nearly everything Smith claimed was just flat out wrong. He was either a really bad guesser or an unscrupulous liar. For example there’s a good chance that young Smith used this word “Elohim” to describe this “new god” that the other gods created and didn’t even know the real definition and origin of the word as we do today. This is just one of hundreds of examples of historical and scholarly facts that Smith got wrong and that prove without a shadow of a doubt that he was certainly no prophet.)]

Instead what we find is a man so wanton in ethics, morals and scruples that it is hard to believe that he even existed. History is challenged to find examples of people so overtly willing to make things up and pretend they’re true as this guy was. Yet an entire religion is based around his silly books. It’s astounding. He seems more the stuff of legend, rather than real life flesh and blood. Historically this is a man whose entire life from start to finish was a fraud, nearly everything he said or wrote was either plagiarized or just made up BUT passed off as (not only) his own works, but the “work of God translated through him”.

I spent about fifteen to twenty minutes in total with the young Mormon missionaries. I shared with them my own experiences with The Divine through the years and what a marvelous and miraculous experience it is indeed. I also encouraged them to continue to study and learn on their own and to not take anything related to God or the Spirit from the mouths of other men or from books, but instead realize and accept that God has the ability to and does communicate with us if our heart is longing for it (and sometimes even when it’s not) and that He/She/It will reveal themselves to us if we focus on that intention. I also shared with them my view that God, The Divine, is plenty large enough to encompass ALL of the various inventions of “God” that humankind has come up with through the millennia. This is something I wholeheartedly believe — that for the most part, human beings are safe in regards to how and where they were raised, that God’s love is infinite for us all — for are we not all but little pieces of Godness in the end (physically speaking)? As well that God would also be infinitely intelligent: He/She/It is smart enough to accept and encompass ALL the various incarnations of “God” that humanity has ever or can ever dream up — meaning that no one has to worry about there being “one true god” or “one true religion” in the end, for in the end God will sort it out and accept every soul with an equal amount of love and adoration.

But I must admit, this Mormon cult is one frighteningly crazy group. One of the strangest belief systems I have ever studied, period, or even heard of, (Scientology included). Just out of this world cuckoo stuff. I really don’t get how people are led this far astray out there into lala land. I found myself wondering just how open God truly is when it comes to Mormons… I suppose if we stick with the basic premise that God is unconditional love and forgiveness and truly understands the heart of all humankind (and even all conscious or sentient beings, human or not), with the same love and understanding that we tend to give unto ourselves, that he will even find compassion and understanding and acceptance of Mormons — especially if they’re heart is in the right place. (Not that I personally believe that is a prerequisite to receive God’s love. I don’t. But that’s another story.) But what of the LEADERS of the Mormon faith? The ones who KNOW and fully understand how full of shit it is? Does God afford them the same forgiving heart? Give them the same benefit of the doubt? I wonder.

The same thing happened to me when I researched the Jehovah’s Witness religion. Again, we are led to believe that they are “just another protestant denomination of the Christian faith”, but that is far from the truth; it’s utter rubbish. A scam perpetrated on the masses who just never bother to check it out. Jehovah’s Witnesses is another one of those non-christian cults disguised under the flag of Christendom just to easily gain followers who are familiar with or grew up with “Christian” values and ideas. When studying the beliefs and history of the Jehovah’s Witness organization I was so taken aback by the horrendous nature of their twisted views that I found it very hard to believe that such a thing even exists legally as a religion. A science fiction or horror film? Okay sure. But a legal religion? Not possible. Yet it is.

So repugnant and so skewed the Jehovah’s Witness ideology is that as I studied it I was overwhelmed by a treacherous feeling, something truly evil lurking in the room, or at least in consciousness. I don’t say this lightly. It was palpable, something dark, heavy and wicked. I decided that I had learned enough and put away the need to learn anymore. I felt very uncomfortable, as if I was slowly being absorbed by some kind of dark evil force. True story. Perhaps I was just tired and my imagination was getting the best of me. But so what? Something either is prone to make us feel good, or make us feel bad. In all matters we should attempt to set our sights and our attention on the things that make us feel good. In turn we will have that same effect on the world around us.

Consider for a moment that the whole Jackson family were and are Jehovah’s Witnesses…. Poor Michael, if he were raised with those kinds of ideas, didn’t stand a chance at feeling the joy of God’s love, which is a very sad thing; considering what a beautiful soul he seemed to be at times (despite his alleged various weaknesses…). I wonder what life might have been like for him had he known the kind of love and support that I myself have experienced through the years from the Christian faith…

Being The Ambassador carries with it a natural inclination to feel very open minded when it comes to people of all cultures and faith traditions. I must admit that I am not often turned off or offended by, nor critical or judgmental of people who don’t have the same beliefs that I do. If anything I find this interesting, intriguing and life affirming. But I just can’t help but feel critical of the founders and present day “leaders” of the Mormon and Jehovah’s Witness faith traditions now that I have sat down and learned about what they actually believe in and teach; for not only are they flat out crazy and ridiculous and fantastical, but they are also blatantly false, fallacious, erroneous and fraudulent. Worst of all, this practice of spreading these kinds of rigid rules and laws that govern the whole of a person’s life based on the destiny of their very soul is flat out dangerous. Instead of being helpful and life affirming it seems downright harmful and often times life-denying. This is not what we commonly associate with Christianity. Nor with any religious belief system usually. Think of Judaism, one of the most life affirming religions we know of. But with Mormonism and Jehovah’s Witnesses there is a lot of suffering, heavy indoctrination and brainwashing, a strong intimidating corporate hierarchy in place to frighten and control. These systems are not in place to love heal and protect. But rather to frighten people into submission. We just don’t realize it if we’re on the outside of them, because they are trained to NOT tell people what they believe and to try to “act as normal as possible” when in the company of non-Mormons or non-believers. I’d submit that if you have to act in any way that is different when in the company of strangers than you would act when with your own kind that something is wrong from the get-go.

I have no problem if people choose to believe crazy myths and outrageous legends — think of all the lunatics there are out in the world, with their Matrix-like lifestyles or their Renaissance Fair get-ups, etc etc… even if it’s just for fun or the experience of it. But not if they start acting as if it’s “truth” as in “the word of God”, knowingly doing so in a belief system that has already proved to be made up, or stolen from other works, fraudulent or downright dangerous; especially to the good folks they most likely know are being taken advantage of through the perpetuation of these myths and this system. That’s no longer for “fun or a good laugh or a cool experience”. It’s just plan evil. This Church of Later Day Saints as well as the Watchtower organization that controls the JWs seem a very wicked thing. It makes me wonder how the people in it’s leadership are able to continue to defend it or practice it or promote it in good conscience.

I would say that I am flabbergasted that the government allows such things to exist given how dangerous they are, flat out life controlling cults… but I understand that we are very lucky to have a constitutional right to freedom of religion in the United States; think about that for a moment…. In the United States a person can create ANYTHING they want to and call it a religion. One could turn the work of J.R. Tolkein or Game of Thrones into a religion if they wanted to and open up a church and worship a pretend God or anything else they came up with; they could have followers and a congregation and raise as much money as they want to under the pretense of being a “religion” — no matter WHAT they believe. It’s insanely liberal when you think about it. So it’s no wonder that crazy-assed cults like Jehovahs Witnesses and Mormons exist here. And all of this is perfectly legal and protected by law. So the government can’t really do anything about people passing off fantastical science fiction stories as religion and becoming rich beyond measure by doing so. It’s too bad in a way. It feels like we are giving up one thing — protection from being duped, to keep another — protection from religious persecution.

Perhaps it balances itself out in the end. For those of us who have a level head enough to not fall prey to these dangerous ideologies, it probably does balance out. But for those poor folks who do fall prey to them, it’s concerning. Any compassionate person would be greatly concerned about the health and welfare of those who are raised under the chains of these strict and insane belief systems, or even those who come to them later in life, perhaps out of a momentary vulnerability or a sincere longing to have a closer relationship with the Divine. One ponders if we might not be a better society by having some sort of protection mechanism in place. A one stop shop for religious shoppers where they can compare beliefs, ideas, doctrines of faith, testimonials from others, legal records. A health.gov or an Angie’s List for religions. Perhaps that might help people not get sucked into these things so easily and at the same time protect the religious freedom that we enjoy here in the States. The thing is that no matter how good of an idea this is, the religious powers that be in the US would never allow it. They’re so damn rich that they will continue to contribute as much money as is necessary to prevent such a thing from ever becoming even possible, let alone the law. For better or worse, religions still have a huge influence in America. Can’t say I believe that to be a healthy thing.

There is more of course. There is always is. But for now this is enough. If you’re like me, you’ll want to learn more. I’ve embedded a few videos below that will make that easy. Fair warning: frightening stuff. You may never look at these religions the same way again. But that’s a good thing. Consider yourself lucky.


Quick Notes on the Real Origins of Humankind and the God Concept

Haven’t pieced these thoughts together yet. Just note taking. But thought it better to copy and paste here rather than not. (I am literally sitting on hundreds and hundreds of pages in various places on my phone or hard drives that have not yet made it to the Transcendence Diaries. So in order to prevent that from continuing to happen, this — though perhaps tending to lead to some confusion in reading comprehension — shall be the fix, quick copy and pastes when a lack of time necessitates. I can always come back later and edit or amend).

Yes still studying… No not that, that, that or that. BUT this: So it turns out that the Abrahamic Torah/Bible/Qur’an stories of Genesis, Creation, the Flood, Moses, the Tower of Babel and hundreds of others are copied literally word for word from ancient Sumerian texts written thousands of years before. Maybe this was already common knowledge (?), but i honestly had no idea… Mind blown. This is not “Jewish oral history of their ancestors written down by scribes”, nor the “word of God (capital G) transcribed by man”, but rather ancient stories (true or not is arguable) from clay tablets written between 4000 and 2700 BC in Sumer. And there are tens of thousands of these being translated still… It ALL seems to go back to and originally come from the Sumerians. (Modern day Iraq…. Go figure).

And yes, undoubtedly the first humans to do just about everything — writing, advanced math, create the alphabet, astronomy, physics, human history, astrology, ad infinitum — were people of color.
Which makes me wonder…is THIS one of the reasons why, as we are growing up in the West, are we taught the later versions of these inventions by the Romans or the Greeks or the Hebrews? As in “has it been a conspiracy all this time to misinform people just WHO created and discovered everything? To be more exact, to HIDE the fact that it was actually people of color…?
OR… Is it simply due to the fact that this is fairly new data and “we” just didn’t know all this when we were in school? I mean this IS fairly new data… Many of these clay tablets are still being translated today….
I’d venture to say its a little bit of both probably.

For example we know that the entire book of Genesis was taken from two different sources, which were written over 500 years apart (500 BC and 1000 BC approx.) but both told very similar stories… So ancient Jewish scribes and then modern scholars spliced the two together to create one fluid though confusing work. Hence the repeated passages of many of the stories AND the many contradictions.
But they’ve now traced these stories back to their origins — as far back as 2700 BC — nearly 5000 years ago, 2000 years earlier than when we thought they were written. Amazing. All from the Sumerian culture (which then turned into the Babylonian culture etc), and all written down in the three different alphabets and languages that the Sumerians slowly evolved over time — first cuneiform, then eventually the more advanced Phoenician (phonetic) alphabet that so many cultures used as their starting ground for their own language and alphabet.

We have always been told that the Hebrews / Israelites eventually discovered writing and when they did they started writing down their oral history. “The Gods created human beings from clay and earth”, “created woman afterwards from the rib of man” = Sumerian. “Moses abandoned by his mother in a basket sealed with pitch and let loose in a River to be adopted by a Queen…” = ancient Sumerian. “The plagues of blood etc” “The flood that killed off nearly everything on earth” = Sumerian. But now we are learning that they were in fact just writing down these stories that had been around for thousands of years before; furthermore even their alphabet and language is largely based on Sumerian. The numbers. The letters. The months of the year. It’s crazy.

Now here’s where it becomes “Matrixy”. In all of these original stories, the Sumerian ones, they claim that what they are saying is TRUE. We are told that these are all “myths”… Some believe that. Others more orthodox — Jewish, Christian and Muslim– believe them to be actual history. But they are NOT Jewish history. That we can be sure of. (I know. That opens up a whole shelf of cans of worms for a LOT of people who NEED this to be Jewish history, especially Christians and Muslims)….

At some point the Jews DID start focusing in on this idea of “one god instead of many” — most likely gotten from the Persian Mede people and their Zoroastrian religion (first known stories of “one good god versus one evil god). So they’ve now got this monotheistic ideology going… But the stories they’ve adopted all speak of “gods” — as in multiple gods, i.e. “The gods who created mankind”. Even the Jewish biblical Genesis story of creation has more than one god in it. “We” “us” “let us make them in our image” etc. But the Jews liked this idea of ONE god just as persian Zoroastrianism did. So they began changing the stories to reflect that it was ONE god who was doing all these things. But the stories they are all taken from all refer to a “group of gods” “who come from the sky in spaceships” etc. And this is where they claim to have gotten all their knowledge and technology etc.

Besides elaborate written histories and explanations they also drew tens of thousands of pictures to show their history — our history. They show things like the entire solar system w all ten planets (most of which we wouldn’t “discover” until modern optics in at least the 1500s onward). And yes this is why many are still searching for this mysterious tenth planet — Nibiru — because they even knew about Jupiters moons and Saturn’s rings. Things we didn’t know about till 4500 years later.

Furthermore these gods are giant, like twice the height of humans. They have space helmets on and space suits and they are often depicted in space ships. Jet propulsion is even discussed. It’s all quite mind boggling.

The kings of Sumer all lived to be 900 to thousands of years. Sounds familiar right?

Of course at some point “the powers that be” of both Israel (the priestly order of the temple) AND then Rome did away with all this talk of multiple gods who came from the sky and genetically created mankind. They transformed these historic stories of origin into a more esoteric “wrathful vengeful judging god figure who sees everything and only they (the rabbis/priests) can communicate with etc and created all these laws that most people still believe in today.

But in reality that was just a power-grab to control the masses through fear and we most likely have very good logical rational sources now for where we come from, why we were made, who made us, etc. And it has nothing to do with the “God” of Israel or Catholicism or Christianity or Islam. He at least was a very useful tool being passed down through the ages becoming all the more powerful as larger and larger empires used “him” (who was really “them”) to gain control of land money people and resources.

Which of course begs us to now ask “so when we are in church or synagogue and praying, just who the hell are we praying to?!?”

Questions Regarding the Latest Theories on the Origins of Humankind

Four to five weeks ago I got this idea to start listening to specific brainwave stimulating tones while sleeping in order to up my cerebral potential and increase certain aspects of consciousness. My first thought was to purchase a few Hemisync programs from The Monroe Institute, believing them to still be the leading researchers in brainwave manipulation. But after a little research (primarily looking through YouTube for Hemisync programs that might have been uploaded), I discovered that this field has made tremendous progress. The Monroe Institute is no longer the only player on the pitch. There are a variety of different theories and technologies out there now from all over the world in the field of brain and consciousness stimulation and modulation using tones, monaural tone tech, binaural beats, 532 Hz, A432 retuning tones, chakra balancing, third eye and pineal gland stimulation, subliminal affirmations, audible affirmations, meditations, etc etc.

This research still continues on my part, and I’ll report on it at a later date IF i decide that I’ve found ONE technology that I believe works better than another. So far I am enjoying and seeming to benefit from using a variety of them — every night, while sleeping. It seems to be working.

As often happens in these scenarios — especially for those of us who tend to have a broad attention span (sounds better than ADD doesn’t it?), while studying this particular field, I chanced upon other topics of research too, specifically various videos dealing with expanded consciousness. Some of you probably remember. I began posting what I was finding to Twitter and Facebook to share whenever I found anything that was particularly earth shattering. I quickly landed in the world of Sacred Geometry (which really was mind blowing), then ancient knowledge meets cutting edge new science. For weeks this is all I studied. I managed to get through every bit of new data that up until that point I was not familiar with or hadn’t already studied. And it is, I must admit, very interesting stuff. I created playlists on YouTube, so if anyone else wants to catch up with the latest research in these fields, they can just go to these Playlists.

What you’ll notice though is that the playlists tend to have a lot of cross pollination. Some of the videos clearly go into the Ancient Knowledge heading. Some of them start veering into the Conspiracy Theories heading. Some of them go into Alternative Spirituality. And still another group tends to lean more in the direction of Alternative Anthropology, Archeology or Cosmology.

The problem is due to the fact that just about everything that we think we know about ALL of these subjects is WRONG. The whole world is walking around with all of this alleged scientific or religious or historical data in their heads that we’ve learned since we were kids, but it’s all old, outdated and some of it just flat out made up bs. So once you start down this path of “catching up” in one arena, say the history of human civilization, you soon enter into the Conspiracy field — because so much of this information IS commonly known among certain circles but kept from the mainstream. But as soon as you want to learn more, go deeper, then you have to leave the broad world of Conspiracies and head into a more specific field where the actual researchers in that specific domain are doing the cutting edge research — i.e. anthropology, economics, religious studies, etc.

What I noticed is that no matter where I went and what I studied, everything seemed to lead to the same conclusion: there is a mass global conspiracy going on by a very small group of elites who know a whole lot more about the world we live and the history of this world than the common person does, and they use this knowledge to gain and keep power and control the masses. Makes sense. Nothing new there. Though much of the latest data was new to me. It was good to catch up. But further down the rabbit hole you begin to hit this — what i would call — “dead zone”…. a place where ALL the documentaries tend to freeze… they are TRYING to tell you something, they desperately WANT to tell you something… but they just aren’t sure WHAT to tell you. Because everyone has either their own viewpoint or their own agenda OR they simply don’t know anything beyond their own personal conclusion.

For example, many of these theories tend to stop at the “the elites who one might call The Illuminati control the world are all satanists who worship Lucifer who is actually The Lord of Light and not really a bad person but they are using this power and all the secret technologies they possess to keep the masses down through the New World Order and stay in control of the world” idea. Okay fine. We know that. That’s their big conclusion. Leading governments, the royals and the Catholic Church are all occultists and/or satanist. Great. We already know that. They possess secret knowledge and these are the signs and symbols of this whole charade etc etc. Okay so that’s sort of the beginner stage. But then it just stops. They tend to end there and go off into a new age lala land of outlandish presumptions or pie in the sky fairytales about how one day the people will be able to take control of the world back through either raising mass consciousness or through mass global revolution. Yep. One can see that happening as well.

But if you look carefully enough through all the various information that’s out there you start to notice one or two very interesting ideas that don’t really get dissected down too much, at least not on the surface: and that is the idea that the human race was not created by a capital G God, but rather by lower case g gods, nor were we descended from early hominids ala evolution theory, but rather we were created initially as a slave race by an extraterrestrial group of beings.

As you might remember I first came upon this idea in ONE book in 1995. That was it. Then this whole Ancient Alien theory really began to take off over the last ten to fifteen years. To the point where it has it’s own mainstream TV show — at least here in the Americas. So it’s reached the mainstream now. Back when i first read it, it seemed like such a foreign concept to me, that I must admit that I just sort of decided to leave it alone for the time being. I didn’t see how it could really help or benefit me in any way to know that. Plus it really bumped up against my own theological and spiritual viewpoints and practices.

Fast forward 19 years and here we are. You may remember a few years ago when I decided to read the whole bible. Circa 2005 to 2007. Every now and then I would post something to the social networks about how crazy it was or how illogical it was or how made up it all seemed, etc. But there were a few sticking points for sure. Such as if God made just Adam and Eve, and they had these two sons, Cain and Abel, where did these other women come from that Cain and Abel married? Things like that. Simple logical things. Obviously there is only one answer if one is to follow this path of thinking: Eve’s sons made love to Eve and she gave birth to a few females, who would have been Cain and Abel’s sisters and they in turn also became their wives as well. In other words the entire human race was borne from incest. Strange and disturbing to say the least.

But then you go deeper. You begin to study the ancient texts where the Torah (the Old Testament portion of the Bible) actually came from. And that’s where it gets really interesting. You begin to discover little known and discussed facts like the fact that the Book of Genesis is actually two or more different books combined — totally separate books written by two totally different people at two different times. But they are so similar to each other PLUS we aren’t sure which one was written first, so biblical scholars just combine them together to make one book. That’s why many of the stories in the Torah and the Bible are told twice, but often contradict each other. Most Jews and Christians aren’t even aware of this, and if they are they just decide not to think about it. Frankly this whole sphere is so filled with anomalies like this that one can easily see how and why most Christians and Jews do not bother to even acknowledge or entertain these facts — they probably don’t even bother recognizing them consciously. Only scholars do. Because It’s simply too mind boggling to most people.

Here’s one that has always boggled me and has continued to stick my attention for years: All through the beginning of the book of Genesis, this “god” continues to speak of himself as if there is more than one of him. He uses the pronouns “us” and “we” and “ourselves” as if he/she is speaking to a group of people. It’s quite odd. And it’s right there in plain site for anyone to read and see. Now before we go on let us acknowledge that 99% of religious leaders out there, people who we call pastors or preachers or priests or rabbis or ministers are NOT invested in studying or researching to gain knowledge or get to the bottom of any great mysteries. That’s not their mission or goal. Their goal is to provide spiritual or religious leadership and pastoral guidance and comfort to their congregation. So they may know certain things… but they don’t tend to know the deep scholarly stuff or the latest cutting edge academic research.

There is also the problem with anthropology. This whole theory of evolution that states that human beings evolved from lower form apes and hominids, BUT they have all these giant missing pieces — they call it “the missing link” — that WOULD prove they were right IF they could only find evidence of other species or animals that they could fit in between we Homo sapiens and these earlier hominids like homo erectus or homo habilus or cromagnun man etc. The problem is that they just don’t have any physical evidence of any of this being true.

Next let’s jump back over to the religious and history books for a moment. Turns out that real scholars — ones withOUT an agenda to prove that the religions of the world are true or accurate or even real — have known for centuries that the Judeo Christian sacred writings that we call the bible etc are actually ancient texts taken from earlier ancient texts from the Sumerians, the Phoenicians, the Babylonians, the Persians and the Medes. The Jews may think that they invented this God and these stories — the Israelites actually. But scholars know that they didn’t. They were just copying the work of other more ancient peoples that they came into contact with. Even ideas such as the creation story and the creation of human beings etc etc.

By this point scholars can even tell you WHICH ancient texts most of these writings come from. It’s incredible how much progress ALL of these different fields of study have made over the last ten to fifty years. From genetics to religious to history to anthropological studies, each of the different fields have made incredible gains in what we know about the history of the world we live and our own history.

In a nutshell, human beings were evidently first created about about 200,000 years ago initially as a slave race by the Anunnaki — a more advanced extraterrestrial race of beings who originally came from a planet known as Nibiru, which happens to actually exist in our own solar system but our scientists have just not discovered it yet. Before you scoff, bare in mind that these SAME ancient Sumerian texts also tell of there being one or two extra planets in our solar system — whereas we have always known there to just be 9 in total — and over the last ten years sure enough scientists have indeed discovered two more planets in our solar system, — I believe the first one they called Sedna and the second one just discovered this year VP2012…(but check on that…) making the total count now 11 total planets in our solar system. Who would have ever thought that the number of planets in our solar system would be different when we were adults compared to when we were children? That fact alone is enough to make anyone remotely intelligent at least consider to start to rethink everything we’ve been taught about our origins.

If one reads the Bible or the Torah with this NEW understanding of what it is actually writing about — OR better still, goes back to the original source material, the ancient texts of the Sumerians and Babylonians, and starts rereading with this new understanding of what and WHO they were actually writing about these texts make a LOT more sense. It’s not some giant wrathful vengeful God in the sky who was bored and lonely and thus created humankind out of nothingness who wants us to now worship him or he’ll send us to hell for an eternity. This is all just garbage that lower minded humans added onto these ancient writings because, one, they either forgot what the real story was, or two, as some conspiracy theorists claim, they did KNOW what the ancient texts really meant, but they hid the real meaning of the stories from the people and invented this giant god in the sky figure and all the baggage that goes along with him — like religion and heaven and hell and other such rewards and punishment ideas — in order to control the majority of the people on earth through fear of the unknown and fear of the afterlife. It makes perfect sense.

In fact, do it yourself. Go back and start rereading the Torah or the Bible based on this new idea of WHO the “gods” were and WHY they created us and HOW they created us. It all starts to make a LOT more sense.

Here’s the deal: My intention here over the next few days, weeks, months or years is not to try to explain this to you the reader or anyone else, nor to try to prove it; there’s way too much evidence now out there in such a wide variety of different fields of human study to doubt these theories. The idea of evolution, at least to me now, is a joke. But more likely it’s a hoax being perpetrated on purpose to steer us away from learning the true nature of the origins of human beings. And the same can be said about the more mainstream theories of religious origins, i.e. a God created human beings because he was bored or lonely. Again, it’s always seemed rather silly to say the least… BUT we’ve made it seem plausible by attaching higher ideals to it such as “divine consciousness” etc etc. No. None of it now to me even seems plausible now that I have learned what I have learned.

But rather than try to explain it here OR try to prove it, I will use this space here in the Transcendence Diaries to just make my own notes and ask my own questions. What I will also do is cite sources and resources so anyone can begin to study the same materials I have been studying over the last few months and years which will allow them to decide for themselves what they believe.

If you’re interested in starting to dive into this research yourself, check out this VERY basic playlist that I created here: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7Cl0OHflU1JAElAKLXd3g8JCDu2LL6_z
At the very least it gives you a starting place or launching pad.

Questions that have arisen for me are the following:

Since we’ve made so much progress in this research over the last 20 years (which I hadn’t realized), do ANY modern religious scholars KNOW what’s really up? I’m referring to Christian, Judaic & Islamic scholars associated with actual churches or religions, NOT academics… (The academics are the ones spearheading this research. Clearly they know exactly what’s what.) But what about more mainstream religious leaders who also happen to be highly intelligent and/or curious…. Do THEY know what the Torah & Bible are really talking about & really referring to? Are some of them hiding the truth from their “flock”? Or are they too as clueless as everyone else is/was? That’s what I keep coming back to…

And let us say that this now-new but once-old and readily-known theory of the origins of human beings IS true… Does that discount or exclude the idea that a capital G GOD exists? Wouldn’t these ancient beings, the Anunnaki, still have to have been created at some point in time way back when? Sure they may be way more advanced than WE are and they’ve been in existence for a lot longer in the universe than we have, but they still need an origin as well. Someone or something still would have had to create them. THIS is something to contemplate.

What it comes down to, still, for me, is that consciousness still is the most likely source of ALL creation, both matter and energy. rather than coming from or out of matter and energy, consciousness gives life shape and form to matter and energy. So yes even more advanced civilizations — some that may have created we human beings — were still at some point created from a higher consciousness, just as the universe itself was at some point.

In other words, on a deeper level, WHEN we pray — if one prays that is, just WHO are we praying to? If we were in fact genetically engineered as a slave race by a more advanced species of beings, THEY would be (and ARE according to cutting edge modern religious scholars) the “gods” that all of these holy books were written about, all of these creation stories are actually about this more advanced species — to ancient earthlings they certainly would seem like “gods”. So now when we pray, assuming all this time that it was to capital G God, are we REALLY praying to God? Or can we not even be sure really that a capital G God really exists? Frankly at this point this is something that I believe that each of us is going to have to explore on our own — within our own consciousness — in order to try to discover what turns out to be true to us. More of a psychic or meditative practice in our own personal consciousness and hopefully through which we can eventually tap into some form of a higher cosmic consciousness in order to really learn what’s really going on.

This is what I hope to do on my own through my own meditative practices and prayer. As always I will take notes here in the Diaries.

PS — I am currently reworking the book/presentation “Not Quite The Meaning of Life and Everything In Between” — something I hadn’t worked on since 2008. It’s a more visual presentation dealing with and explaining these same ideas about cosmology and consciousness etc.



Israel and Gaza: The Game Changer

Time has passed since this war begun fifteen days ago. Another 70 Palestinians in Gaza have been killed, making the estimated death till now over 300. And another 2,500 at least are injured. Just as concerning over 100,000 Gazans have led their homes with nothing but the clothes on their backs in an attempt to head to a United Nations bomb shelter. Many will not have homes when they return. They will be for all intents and purposes be destitute. But we must never forget that it was Hamas — in Gaza — who started this latest battle, by firing some 60 rockets into various cities in Israel. And it was the Palestinians who live in Gaza who voted Hamas into their current position of leadership, indirectly one could argue giving them permission or at least the means to attack Israel as they did.
 Since my last report Israel began their ground invasion entering into Gaza in tanks and on foot. A whole hospital was destroyed today. And worse, the death toll for Israel now is almost 30. I’ve had time to revisit my heart of hearts in regards to Israel’s mission and method to achieve that mission, i.e. It’s right to defend itself and it’s people. So I’ve changed my mind about Israel being justified for this horror that we are all witnessing day in and day out.
 In answer to all of the impassioned pleas from Israeli friends or American Jewish friends who ask “If you don’t believe our hearts break from the suffering of the Palestinians because we condone the killing of them in this war, what then would you have Israel do?” My answer would be: you know that Israel has the Iron Dome Missile Defense System. So less than 1% of rockets fired out of Gaza ever hit the ground. That’s an amazing technology. Thank God for it and thank God for the financial support of US taxpayers for all these decades. It could be MORE than just a way to engage in a bloody lopsided war with our wicked neighbors though. We could really use it to our advantage and instead of bombing Gaza and knowingly killing hundreds of innocent civilians we could instead hold an emergency press conference — EVERYONE would attend obviously — and announce to the world “Today Hamas fired 60 missiles into Israel. Luckily no one was killed or injured. But we believe this is a barbaric act and a blatant act of war. But we here in Israel are tire of war. We on the other hand refuse to stoop to their level. It is beneath us. It is against our Torah and our Ten Commandments. So we ask the international community, especially middle eastern countries who have good relations with Hamas, to do whatever it takes to immediately compel Hamas to stop firing upon us. We trust that everyone remembers what happened in 2012 when this happened and we were reluctantly forced to retaliate. Over 1200 Palestinians were killed. Many of them innocent. We would like to avoid a tragedy of the proportion from happening again. But we can only do so if Hamas ceases from this activity immediately. We ask our fellow citizens of earth to come to our aid both for the safety of our people and our neighbors in Gaza.”
 Now. THAT would really be something. It would blow minds. It would instantly change the way the entire world looks at Israel. In a heartbeat. By taking the high road they could shift the entire conversation — away from sympathy for the Palestinians being slaughtered and focus it instead on Israel’s justifiable fears and their noble and humane response to being attacked.
 In a word, it would be a revolutionary game changer. Something for the history books. Not just the history of Israel. But for the history of the entire human race.
 Hamas needs salaries paid for 45,000 men. Qatar may pay it. As it does sometimes. Or it may instead choose to hold off on paying it until Hamas ceasefires. Israel could also ask, as part of its agreement to hold off attacking, for the Palestinians to hold a mid term election or hold a referendum election and consider voting Hamas out of leadership in Gaza. A third request could be that Israel request a two week peaceful exploratory boots on the ground investigation into Gaza to search for tunnels and other stores of rockets and armaments that they would be free to take and destroy as part of the agreement. Israel might also agree to having a neutral third party to assist them in this investigation so that force is only used if anyone’s life becomes endangered.
 The ultimate goal being to have Israel be the first people in the world to finally live up to the true potential of a compassionate humankind and be that example for all of us all over the world. The US, the most brutal and active military force in the world today desperately needs a mentor and role model such as this. And so too do many other countries around the world. It’s long overdue that we each begin to encourage each other to take the higher road and not the primitive predictable barbaric road of the lower animals as we always have throughout our short history. Imagine the possibilities.
 The point being: Israel does have other options when it comes to it’s stated goal of “needing to defend its people”. The Iron Dome is already doing that. Better than anyone could have ever hoped for. Kudos to the ingenious Israelis who invented it. And if the people of Israel are still frightened of these incoming missiles (which is truth be told hard to believe since they are not acting like it — especially since they literally stand right in the line of fire of said missiles target areas while watching Gaza get blown up as if it’s a spectator sport), then they could easily go into the multitude of bomb shelters that Israel has available for its people — at least for a few days. This is a major inconvenience granted. But a small thing to ask when the larger goal is going to be rising up to become the most noble admired and courageous country on earth in the eyes of the world overnight and most likely receiving a Nobel Peace Prize in the process.
 Imagine that: Israel winning the Nobel Peace Prize. And deservedly. Unlike US President Obama. That would really be something. It would turn the whole conversation upside down and I believe would change humankind forever. There IS an alternative to what Israel has chosen to do. They DO have options. Just for the record let it be here noted. Israel is not out of options. They are not being forced to kill hundreds of innocent civilians. They chose to. Perhaps out of fear. Perhaps out of habit. Perhaps out of ego. Perhaps out of ignorance and not seeing a bigger picture to the bigger picture. But it wasn’t their only choice. It isn’t too late to change this game.
 You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.
 – Posted by The Ambassador

Does Matter Come From Mind? Or Mind Come From Matter?

A note: The post below is based on a variety of information sources and data taken from throughout human history and studied and researched over the last 25 years. The reader is assumed to have already encountered and studied the majority of this information. If one encounters something that they’re not familiar with, a suggestion might be to take a note of it and continue reading.
 Two things. We’re already familiar with evolutionary theory and with creationism. The new form of creationism that’s received a lot of fanfare over the last 10 years is something they now call intelligent design. Creationism and intelligent design usually refer to both humanity and the world in general being created by some sort of a divine being capital D such as a god or goddess.
 Of course there is also another theory of creationism and that is what it has now come to be known as the ancient alien theory of creationism which posits that rather than a singular God that created the entire universe, a collection of extraterrestrial beings from another world other than Earth actually created humankind. In the most popular theory about ancient alien creationism is that the human race was created as a slave race by extraterrestrial beings (simply meaning “not of this earth”) who came from Sirius B star system. We could call them “Siriuns”.
 This theory is an old one. I first heard it proposed back in 1995 when we are still but children and have continued to study it over the last 20 years. There is a ton of evidence, if one is looking for it, and depending on one’s perspective, that portends to prove this ancient alien theory may be accurate. And there are a variety of different theories out there proposing that humankind was created by extraterrestrials or aliens, each with their own idea of from which star system these extraterrestrials originally came. Where they were from or where they currently live now is important, and indeed is fascinating to research and contemplate. But it’s not the main theme of this post.
 Number one: Here’s an important point. Even if we were to assume that this is true – that the human race is nothing but a slave race created by more advanced extraterrestrial beings and we have now evolved beyond a slave mentality and beyond even remembering our origin – this still does not exclude the idea of an even more divine being creating the entire universe. This would’ve just happened before that time period. Someone or something still would have had to create not only the universe but the extraterrestrials who created human beings. So regardless of which theory one chooses to believe in — a God created human beings or extraterrestrials created human beings, it still does not solve the ultimate question, i.e. How did the universe itself get here and who or what might have created it?
 We now assume, the majority of us at least, that the entirety of the known (and unknown?) universe is approximately 15 billion years old. Of course this exact figure is also arguable; everything is. But that’s not the question at hand either.
 Number two: The real question ultimately is this: can mind ever come from matter? As evolutionary theorists propose? Or can matter only come from mind?
 It is easy to be an evolutionist. The majority of intelligent people on earth now tend to believe in it. Theoretically it makes sense. And there appears to be an ever growing body of physical evidence to support it. On earth that is. Especially on earth. Fossil records etc. This is something most evolutionists seem to totally miss: almost all evidence regarding evolution theory is based on earth based life forms and materials — an infinitesimally small piece of the total universe. They totally miss the rest of the much larger picture — the hundreds of billions of other galaxies and star systems in the world we live in.
 Granted, in the greater known universe, in the world of astro-physicists, a simple reading of the history of radio waves that permeate the seeming “empty space” of the universe reveals that it has been expanding — a fact that can be viewed as “evolutionary” to a certain degree. Scientists take this rate of expansion and reverse it and this is how they come to decide how long the universe has been existence. It’s just the rate of expansion times the distance covered in reverse. Eventually they reach a point where everything in the entire universe is all crammed together no bigger than the size of an atom. Before that…?
 Well that’s where we get the idea of the so called Big Bang. The idea that matter itself just mysteriously and miraculously bursted into being from nothing. This is where evolutionary theory hits it’s arch nemesis, namely logic. Because we all know that nothing can come from nothing. Matter cannot come from nothing or nowhere. It can only come from something. This is how and from where Thomas Aquinas got his “a priori” / “first cause” argument. So at least according to some, it’s an impossibility to consider that all of this something came into being from nothing.
 Others persist in asserting that they believe that matter can indeed miraculously come forth from absolutely nothing at all. The operating word here being “believe”. Because at this point (in human history at least) we don’t have any evidence to support either theory. The truth is we human beings simply do not know what happened before the universe began expanding. We don’t know how IT — that tiny microscopic ball of matter that expanded exponentially into everything in the known and unknown universe including ourselves — got here, or how IT came into being, or what it was before it was. We just have theories.
 But beyond this argument of matter coming into being from nothing is another deeper question. The one posed before: can mind or consciousness come from matter? We have been speaking of matter. Not life. Remember, scientists postulate that it was the universe itself that first came into being 15 billion years ago. Not life. The star at the center of our solar system, what we call “the sun” (curious that we have a name for all these different stars in the universe when in reality they don’t really have names…), has only been in existence for 4.6 billion years. The earth for only 4.5 billion. The earliest life forms that we know of, simple single-celled microbes, for approximately 3.5 billion years. And human beings? Approximately only 200,000 years.
 Why is this important? Because human beings, out of either ego or limited knowledge and ignorance, are the only life forms that we humans currently know of so far in our research that have “mind” or consciousness, i.e. an awareness of being. And we don’t know of any other instances where mind has come from pure unconscious matter. From a purely logical point of view it seems unlikely, mind coming from matter.
 Indeed it was this quote, by philosopher Harry Palmer, that first inspired me to read all his works and then take all the Avatar Courses: “The miracle is not that there is consciousness in the universe, but that there is a universe in consciousness”. For whatever reason this made sense to my young mind at the time. I had always thought of us as being inside the universe. As parts and pieces of it. Operating inside of it. It was only then that I began to contemplate the idea that even the universe itself must be inside of consciousness, because after all the universe is just more matter and anything material at its origin must come from some form of consciousness. Matter does not just originate out of nothingness.
 Sure it breeds from itself. Evolutionarily speaking, matter begets more matter, as we’ve seen from studying the evolution of life on earth and even non living matter in the near and far away universe. But initially this matter must have come into being from some form of consciousness. A mind or consciousness could not have emanated originally from lifeless matter. Or could it?
 That really is the question. And the truth is we do not as of yet have the answer.

Left Does Not Equal Atheist, Religious Does Not Equal Right

Surprising for a society that is used to the 24 hour news cycle and to only relegating 15 minutes of fame for each major story no matter how important or big — 48 hours later and people of all ages colors and creeds are still bombarding social media with posts lambasting the United States Supreme Court for their ruling on Monday that “closely held companies such as Hobby Lobby could discriminate against it’s employees by not paying for their full health care coverage if any aspect of it went against their religious views — in this case specifically ‘birth control and contraception’.”
 Let us not get into the case or the ruling specifically. For it is just too nuanced and complex. Not even I have been able to fully decide one way or the other which way to lean. Yet interestingly, in 1998 Justice Scalia voted AGAINST corporations being allowed to break any part of the law on religious grounds because he said it would “create a slippery slow environment in the United States that could lead to any and everybody breaking the law and claiming it was for religious reasons.” I tend to agree.
 On a different note, this morning I was watching a documentary about the advanced knowledge that ancient civilizations held and that is now being kept secret from modern societies around the world. Again, that is not the point of this post. But I do find it interesting when reflecting on 18 years of schooling in America and we never studied how the entire universe and nature is comprised of matter using Phi and the Fibonacci Sequence. We may have learned OF these mathematical coincidences, mysteries, anomalies…. But the extent to which the entire universe and human body is composed of them, including DNA itself, was never brought into the classroom.
 It got me to thinking about God and Intelligent Design. I closed my eyes and just felt into God…connecting more than communicating…. As I relaxed into the quiet of my mind it began to occur to me how suddenly secular the United States is becoming. We don’t go a day now without seeing someone somewhere say something negative about Christianity or religion. Precisely because of this latest Supreme Court ruling. People are angry. They deserve to be. It appears that corporations are taking over the country, even to the point of seeping into the Supreme Court of the United States, one of the most respects institutions in the world today. (But for how long if these kind of shenanigans are allowed to continue?)
 But should this anger be aimed at religion? Or God? It just makes it more and more difficult for those of us who do have a close relationship with the Divine to be open about it. Besides the fact that we are made to feel insulted all the time because of this new trend of constant attacking religion and those who are religious due to “ignorance”.
 I brought it up to Princess Little Tree this morning over an espresso and she and I began discussing it. She made an excellent point. People only are being led to believe that religion is at fault… Because basically people and organizations, primarily on the right, have so completely co-opted and kidnapped all things god religion and spirituality for all of these crazy radical extreme political views and missions (that at their heart have little to do with god or religion) that now, because anyone remotely intelligent in America has shifted to the Left, (which makes perfect sense — It is hard to see how anyone sane or intelligent could or would want to be associated with the so-called right at this time… — the side effect is that this has compelled a lot of people into believing that anything that has to do with god religion or the divine is “backwards, wrong, conservative, right wing, republican, ignorant, etc”
 It’s not the fault of well meaning lefties and liberals. They’re being slowly brainwashed into believing that atheism is the only way to be because religion is being used as an excuse for all kinds of craziness in the political world at the moment in America. So we are starting to see more and more atheist type comments on social media — including near daily attacks on god and religion specifically. From the left. As if being liberal and intelligent means one is automatically an atheist or anti-religion. Which of course they are not.
 It IS making it more challenging to openly be spiritual or religious or just be publicly honest about being a christian or in touch with the divine etc. But I feel it’s important that we do not steer away from continuing to be open about our connection w the Divine. If anything perhaps we need to be even more open about it… To show that rationally minded well meaning intelligent liberty-focused people can still be connected to the divine, believe in god, be religious or spiritual etc.
 These few crazies that support the Hobby Lobby decision for no other reason than people they believe to be in power on the so-called right are TELLING them to support it do not own god religion spirituality or the divine. They’re just using it; as a tool or a weapon. But it isn’t their’s to use.
 Those of us who feel strong and bold enough to do so need to speak out and remind the world that there are still plenty of us in the United States who are deeply spiritual AND intelligent at the same time. The right wing, no matter how much they love believing they have a monopoly on religion in America, doesn’t have any more connection with God or religion than anyone else. In fact, due to the very nature of HOW they are using their supposed religiousness, one could easily assert that they don’t have a very close relationship with God at all and don’t even even remotely resemble what a religious person is or thinks or acts like. If WE don’t do this, who will?
 – Posted by The Ambassador using BlogPress on an iPhone

The Problem with The Bible Code

As impressive and exciting as The Bible Code is — and it certainly is that and more — there’s one major fundamental flaw with the whole paradigm. Using computer programs now — as compared to doing it by hand as the innovative first researchers did in the 1940s — they simply type in their search term, e.g. a word or phrase they are looking for, say 9/11 or Twin Towers, and the program then searches through all the different Hebrew letters in each paragraph on every page of every book in the bible looking for those specific words or phrases — not the words themselves with the letters in order and in a row… But secretly embedded within the text in a numerical code known as ELS, meaning in a specific pattern like every five letters they will find one letter of that word, then the next letter of the word five letters away and then the next letter of the word another five letters away.
 For example 9/11 might appear in a paragraph of the book of Genesis every ten letters. Or Twin Towers might appear in the book of Leviticus every seven letters. If they can find 9/11 and Twin Towers AND Bin Laden AND Airplane all within the same paragraph or two in this ELS form (each letter of the word the same or “Equidistant” number of letters away from the previous one), then they consider it even more impressive because it’s that much more improbable.
 It’s essentially a form of old fashioned encryption or coding that say spies would use in ancient times to disguise their communications in case they would fall into enemy hands. So on the surface while the two Creation stories are being described in the first chapter of the book of Genesis, most readers will just read those stories and that’s it. Of perhaps they might look for symbolic meaning to the stories — looking at them more as allegories that tell a bigger story… But people who believe in the Bible Code aren’t looking for the stories on the surface. In fact they’re completely uninterested in them. Neither are they looking for symbolic meaning or allegories. Instead they are literally playing with letter and numbers. “Let’s see what happens if we start here at the letter L and count every four letters for the next few pages and see if any words are spelled out every four letters. Nothing? Okay cool. No problem. Let’s do the same exact thing but instead count every give letters. Ah hah! We’ve found the word L O V E! Counting from the letter l every five letters! So then they look for other words that might be related to the word LOVE, something like Romeo or Shakespeare. If they find all three of those words all within the same paragraph or two or three or even within one page — what they call matrixes — they then conclude that it’s not a coincidence, but instead that the “true author” of the bible put those words there on purpose as a way to predict that a man named Shakespeare was going to write a famous love story about someone named Romeo.
 Now that we have computer programs that do all the work for us, any own can become a Bible Code researcher. Type in a word related to any subject that you care to explore and the computer will tell you if it can find a numerical sequence in ELS — letters in an equidistant length from each other — that spell out that word. And so on.
 At best it’s cool. Neat. Nifty. Fun. Sudoku for religious nerds. The problem is that if one took any book the size and scope of the Bible (this has only been tried with the first five books of the Bible, what Christians call the Old Testament and what Jews call the Torah) and attempted this same research there is a high likelihood that the same “code” would be found in that book as well. Think of books that are large in scope and lengthy like the bible… such as Rowling’s Harry Potter series… Surely just the sheer law of probability states that the same mind of encoded words and phrases would appear if one sat there long enough and tried a variety of different search terms until they found some. Especially considering that they have NO rules in terms of how close or far apart the letters of any word has to be — the letters of the word just need to be the same number of letters away from each other (equidistant) in order to form that particular word; they can be three letters away from each other, four, five, even ten or eleven or twelve. What’s more, the next word in the matrix — say Waterloo after finding the word Napoleon — does not have to have its letters be the same number of characters away from each other as the previous word. So the letters that form the word Waterloo can be fifteen letters away from each other. They just have to be equidistant within each word itself. So it’s pretty loose in terms of mathematical or statistical rules are concerned.
 Given that, it seems highly likely that though some exciting moments from history have been found “secretly encoded” within the bible — Watergate, 9/11, Russian revolution, the Clinton scandal, the Rabin assassination, etc., the same results could easily be achieved using just about any large book.
 Until someone sets about to testing whether or not this is true then there is simply not enough exclusivity to this relatively easy task to accomplish to give it merit that it is something solely unique or special belonging only to the Bible. Hence it really shouldn’t even be called the “Bible Code” in the first place.
 – Posted by The Ambassador using BlogPress on an iPhone 8s Custom

Dude, Astrology? Really?

The other day I happened to post something to FB regarding this new reading I got from this new astrologer I discovered by the name of, get this, Carole Devine. Yes that IS in fact her real name. And yes you should definitely look her up if 1, astrology is your thing and you’re looking for a good or 2, you’ve always been interested in it but have never found a good one. She’s mind boggingly good at what she does. Very scientific, honest, accurate, sincere and real. In any case, I make a random comment on FB about it and White Bear, who I have reconnected with over the last few years, as I’ve written about here in the past, makes the comment “Dude, Astrology? Really?” Which is pretty much what I would expect from him. It’s one of the many reasons why I love and admire him so much. He’s very left brained. Logic. Rational thinking. A real go-to person if you need facts and figures and an actual answer to something. Besides the fact that he’s also very lacking in the BS department. He states facts. Along with a modicum of opinion. Which are also almost always thought provoking and interesting as well.

In any case, seeing that it is something that I believe in — to a certain degree (see a previous post about the subject) and only if one doesn’t get carried away with it — I wanted to give him an honest answer. Something that might come in handy, be helpful. Long gone are the days where we concern ourselves with what others think. These are the days of true, free Personal Expression. So I just typed without thought, sharing as much as I could think of in the moment so as to relay to him the what and the why of it. Below is that response.

Dude I can SO see the “not believing in it” side — just as easy as the “believing in it” side. Totally. Because frankly the main access we have to it in the mainstream is through so called “horoscopes” which are just … fun, entertainment, no different than say the billboard music awards or “reading about how to give the best bl*wj*b in Cosmo”. Can’t possibly apply to any one individual, because they can literally apply to everyone. Get it. But the actual science of astrology — as in finding one who has been to school and mastered in it for a few decades = mind blowing. You find a good one and get your Natal Chart done… If they’re good at it, then it’s freaking insane how accurate they are. #1 So that can be tremendously helpful. In just having a better understanding of certain things you’ve “wondered about” for a long time, about yourself or about life in general.

#2 that then gives you AMMUNITION in the form of information that you can then use to discreate/let go of/release anything that you don’t particularly like about yourself or your life — for some reason, hearing WHAT it is and WHY it is from an objective third party really helps loosen the grip, adds some grease to something that may feel “stuck”. You know what i mean… things we’ve “struggled” with for years/decades, or that have boggled our mind since we can remember.

#3 If they’re really good, your SIGN will have VERY little to do with who YOU are… (if they’re not good, then yeah they’ll talk all about your “sign” yada yada yada. But that’s all bs. Might as well pick up Cosmo.) A good one, a scientist, will go WAY deeper and really delve into the deep shiite, in terms of things that you may totally take for granted… #4 so that’s always a hoot, just a blast or #5 might tell you something that is SO deeply repressed or embedded in your subconscious that you’ve never really given it any thought at all until they say it and then BAM!!! you’re like “holy crap you’re right!!!” – which again you can then either keep it or choose to let it go.

#6 Bearing in mind that we are all at different levels of evolution — in this life AND in our collection of lifetimes (only IF you believe in reincarnation or the transmigration of the soul… it may not apply to someone who doesn’t believe in that… for all we know, THEY might actually NOT have multiple lifetimes — this is the secret to it all btw, yep, right here on FB, for free, the secret to it all has been revealed on a cloudy Friday afternoon… but nope there is no ONE truth in the universe of consciousness that applies to ALL people — it’s all up to each individual and what they believe. The universe is large enough to encompass all of the myriad beliefs that consciousness holds. Reincarnation, heaven, hell, turn to dust and die after one life, whatever YOU choose… despite what others may believe… the insistence that “what I believe is the “one true way” is just insecurity on the part of the person who is saying it IMHO). So yes, if we are all at different levels/stages in our evolution in this life and in our collection of lifetimes, then SOME of what they will say “may apply” and some of it we may have already “evolved out of it” (which is how it is phrased) BUT a really GOOD astrologer will even be able to discern WHICH is the case for YOU — whether THAT which they see in your chart applies to you or if “you’re over it” (even though it’s still indicated in your chart, as in “should apply”) But again, i am referring to the REALLY GOOD ones…

So it’s not like “whatever your chart says, so you are”. These are just maps… helpful roadmaps, sea charts. If it doesn’t ring true then it doesn’t ring true for you… Only YOU know if it applies to you or not. #6 Everyone has and uses “different tools” to process and maneuver through life — to evolve so to speak. Some may use pure logic and rational thinking, some may use a lot of emotion, some may use religion and prayer, or spirituality and meditation, some may use magic/witchcraft (which i assert is slightly different than religion… (I’ve tried both)), some may use so-called “self-help” tools such as psychology, psychiatry (and perhaps medication), EST, Life Spring, Landmark ,Avatar, Sedona Method, Abraham, Tony Robbins, Dyer, et al. (I’ve done them all; because i dig researching that kind of stuff…). So as long as the person has SOME type of tool(s) at their disposal to manifest and transition and transform… i.e. a way to manipulate life experiences to their liking…even if it’s just good old fashioned Will Power (which is an often overlooked resource/tool) then astrology can be a great addition to that toolbox. It’s like an “inside look or screening on YOU”.

#7 Once you get through your whole Natal Chart and have good mastery over it, i.e. have evolved out of the bad characteristics of your chart and have increased/taken full advantage of the good characteristics of your chart, you can then move on to having them run a Progress Chart for you — which is where the “celestial bodies” have moved to since you were born until now — as in “your current chart” — this isn’t as much about WHO you are, but more about “what is happening” to YOU now, like this year and next… So it can really help shed light on “what the f*&k happened when one minute I was flying high and everything was going great and then all of a sudden I lost my job and my son fell out of a tree and broke his leg???” or whatever. For each it will be different of course.

#8 But that’s the thing: a truly great astrologer will NOT ask YOU any questions. Instead they will just tell you what the Progress Chart is saying… And if they’re really good, it’s usually spot on to what’s actually happening in your life. And no i’m not speaking of things that are “so broad vast relative” that they can apply to anyone at any time… On the contrary, they’re usually things that are so specific that they either TOTALLY apply to YOU or they’re just not very good at what they do. As in they might say to you: “You’re presently writing a book? With three Virgos? All females? But it’s not a novel…It’s a non-fiction book? Does this make any sense?” And VOI-f*^king-LA, sure enough, at that moment in time I happened to be writing a very large non-fiction book with three Virgos, all female. And you’re like “how the heck do you KNOW that???” And they’re like “I can see it right here…” And if you care about such things, you can ask them to SHOW you what exactly they are looking at that shows them “writing” “book” “with others” “virgos” “women” “non-fiction, not a novel” “helpful or not helpful” “profitable or not profitable”. Because all those things will be present in that chart.

#9 Yes this particular area of science has gotten that good. I am truly awed by it on the rare occasion that i meet one who is THAT good.

#10 BEWARE and forewarned. A really good one is HONEST. They don’t hold back based on “what you may like or not like to hear”. You’re hiring them to hear “what’s up”. Sometimes what’s up may not be always good, as we all well know from living life… So I only recommend astrology to people who are strong brave and have their shit together.

#11 But again, remember, it’s all up to US. WE control it all. (talk about chicken or egg paradox…!!!) Everything that they see, that is there, is only “a potential”. It’s not written in stone. So if you hear something “bad” –something that you don’t prefer, it doesn’t mean that it’s GOING to happen. It just means that “it could happen if you’re not prepared for it and you continue in the same direction you’re currently heading in.”

As in, #12 it’s a damn good way to be prepared and forewarned about things that we might be able to prevent if we only knew were potentialities in the first place.  It gives us opportunities to shift realities that we wouldn’t normally be able to even know about had we not checked out “what the stars had to say”. For all these reasons and probably more, yes, I dig it on the rare occasion that I’m in the mood for it. Which for me personally is about once every five to seven years. I find it helpful.

Hope this answers your question.


Don’t Hate the Atheist — Love Them

It’s easy to feel insulted when one hears a callous derogatory remark made about God or religion when one is a believer. It’s a natural reaction. Even if we ourselves aren’t perfect in our faith — we’ll get to that problematic concept of “faith” later — and/or struggle with our beliefs, if we are a practicing or actively religious or spiritual person it just plain stings a little when you hear someone insult religion in general or God. As if they know. Which we know they don’t. Not anymore than we do. It’s the casual callousness of it that feels disrespectful. That’s what hurts. We may not even be that into it ourselves. Or perhaps we’re a three times a weeker seeker. Either way it’s just plain rude no matter how you slice it. No different than if you heard the same person insulting someone you loved or in your family. That kind of hurt. Which of course it is. People take their religion and their spirituality, their relationship with God, seriously. To many people their religious community is their family. And so too is their belief in whatever God they believe exists. It’s a heartless callous hardened heart that is capable of insulting religion or the God concept in mixed company. Such as on social networks like Facebook or Twitter or what have you. Especially when it is unsolicited. I’ve always found it a rather distasteful act.

Of course it’s their right to do so. Their opinion and their ability to express it publicly is protected by the First Amendment of the United States Constitution. Just as all of ours is. And that’s a very very good thing. It doesn’t make it hurt any less I’m sure. But it’s important to remember that we live in a relatively “free society”. [Quotes due to how quickly these once taken for granted freedoms are disappearing over the last 14 years. It’s more appearance and political-speak now than reality. Truth is that any number of covert or secret “intelligence agencies” — whether we’ve heard of them or not — could enter every single one of our homes at a moments notice, search through our home and ransack our most prized possessions, arrest us, and cart any one of us to a known or secret prison here or in another country and we may or may not be ever be heard from again. There are more laws on the books now that permit that than ones that protect us FROM that happening. That’s just how things are in the “post 9/11 America”.]

But that’s not the point. We’ve already established in numerous other posts that for anyone to claim they’re an “atheist” is as radical and extreme as any bible thumping born again christian or stone throwing Muslim. They assert that they KNOW that God “does not exist”. Funny. I know plenty of Christians who aren’t even 100% sure if God exists or not. I’ll take the word and trust the nobility of someone who is that intelligent and bold any day over someone so ignorant as to claim that they know for sure that there is NO God. That’s just plain lack of intelligence. It takes just as much “faith” to believe something does NOT exist just because they can’t see it as it does to believe something DOES exist that they can’t see. We can’t SEE atoms. And we couldn’t for thousands of years and yet we predicted their existence as far back as when Greece ruled the world. Long before we could “see” them with modern microscopes.

Same thing with the earth being round. Sure the doubters said that it was most definitely flat because that’s what it LOOKED LIKE. I get it. It feels safer only believing in what you can see. You’ve been duped before and it’s not gonna happen again. So from now on it’s “I’ll only believe it when I see it”. Smart.

Except that it’s not. Smart. It’s just plain ignorance. Which is why we can’t blame atheists. They’re radical nature inspires them to make such bold proof-less claims the same way that a Muslim’s inspires him to believe that “women should be covered in black clothing from head to foot in public in order to stay pure”. It’s a radical nature compounded by a lack of intellect. Which is ironic when one considers that most atheists consider themselves “intellectuals”, or to be “more intellectually driven” than theists. But as explained above that’s a misconception.

Another aspect of the bigger picture debate — one that isn’t discussed often — is this: the primary reason why any atheist out of a thousand, take your pick, does NOT believe in God is because they have NEVER EXPERIENCED GOD. As stated above. They claim they “don’t believe in such a thing because they can’t see it”. Which means they never have. One assumes that also means they’ve never heard God either. They’ve never felt God. Never touched Him/Her/It. In other words they’ve never had a God experience. You see where this is headed…

Their problem isn’t necessarily JUST a lack of intelligence — though that’s a big one obviously, as explained above: an intelligent person doesn’t claim to know something for sure that is unknowable at a specific moment in history. There is not enough certainty either way for anyone to know or NOT know. So sure it’s a lack of intelligence to make such a clueless claim.

But what it really comes down to is this: the existence of God isn’t unknowable to all of us. Only to some. While it is true that a vast majority of religious people of all faith traditions steer their spiritual beliefs by way of “faith”, there are some who have seen God, have heard It, or felt It. They’ve had viable tangible God experiences. And THAT’S why they believe in God. Not because of “faith”. But because to them God is as real as their right hand or the nose on their face.

I KNOW this to be true not because I have faith. I personally have very little faith. I’ve always found it to be a rather weak cop out, faith. “To believe in something based on nothing or no evidence, solely because you believe in it.” Not really my thing. But rather it’s because I can honestly say that I once shared the atheist’s vehement disrespect and dislike of all things religious. I thought that God the concept was a cop out. A crutch used only by weak people who couldn’t find steady ground or security within and by themselves. Mentally this made perfect sense. There are plenty of examples and reasons in the world that help support the belief that we are alone in a vast expansive empty and lonely universe — no God to help us when we’re down or heal the sick or feed the hungry. Just random joy and pain. Happiness and sorrow. Ups and downs as random and arbitrary as heads or tails. Chaos in a quantum world. Just as some scientists have been proposing for decades. Think Chaos Theory or Quantum Mechanics.

But then something miraculous happened. I don’t use the term lightly. Miraculous because after years and years of searching, studying, seeking and praying God found me. I didn’t find God. Nor find religion. God found me. Why? I don’t know. I sometimes feel guilty and undeserving to be one of the few who can claim that I don’t believe in God because of faith but rather because I have experienced Him/Her/It. In person. Tangible. Measurable. Viable. As real as the sound of my breath when all is quiet.

I just wrote a more detailed account of the experience in the previous post of these Diaries. It’s all there. Everything I can remember. Which is everything. Experiences like the are not something one forgets easily.

This account I spoke of wasn’t the first time I had a tangible experience of God. Nor was it the last. They don’t happen often. I admit. I’d prefer if God were there whenever and wherever I wanted Him to be. And maybe He is. Maybe It is. In fact I am certain that this Divine Force, which we presently call God and personify with all our human attributes simply because we are too young still to know any better — and too frightened of just how gigantic magnificent and powerful It might be, IS with us all the time. Not only with us, but IN us. As we are in HIM/IT. OF HIM/HER/IT. Most likely we are ONE with It and don’t yet know it. Or not.

With that said — and because I can feel you asking — I will share that everytime I have personally ever seen or heard God it did sound and feel like something separate from me. Not JUST something that was a part of me. But something that was at the same time inside of me AND outside of and separate from me.

Yes of course one could claim these experiences were an illusion, or delusion, hallucinations brought on by stress or delusions of grandeur or wishful thinking. We humans have a marvelously twisted imagination. So much so that we both imagine what God is and then teach it to ourselves as children through made up legends and fairytales like the bible and the Qur’an AND at the same time turn around and call the first person who sees or talks with this God “crazy”. And we’ve created a whole catalog of mental illnesses to project onto each other in order to sound more clinical and credible when we are labeling another person “insane” if they admit to seeing or hearing God. It’s an awe inspiring paradox created by a deep seated shared human fear of the unknown. We all want to believe in God, and curse those who claim not to; but claim to have seen and talked with God, you better RUN. Fast. Just a perplexing species human beings still are.

So sure, every single experience could be classified as a hallucination if you will, and yet what is love? Is it not real? Or is it too illusion? Hallucination…? We can’t see it. Nor measure it. But we can feel it. We can see the effect of it. There are some scientists among us who believe that love is nothing but a chemical reaction in the body of the being experiencing it and because of THIS they hypothesize that love just may be nothing but temporary illusion brought about by chemicals in the body. But I dare say that anyone who has ever experienced real love in all of its various forms would find this explanation severely lacking.

Which is the real point of all this… circling back to bring the message home. The last thing in the world we should feel toward atheists is hurt or anger, blame or hate. They are simply expressing their reality — which is to say they have never experienced God before. They have never seen or heard or felt the presence of the Divine. That is not something to be hurt or angered by. But rather something to feel sorry for. To pity. To empathize with. To pray for. Who among us has not at one time or another felt betrayed or abandoned by God because He/She/It has not shown up when we needed It the most? Imagine NEVER having had an experience of God… Never experiencing anything Divine… Of course they’re angry. Bitter. Vehement in their claim that no such thing exists. It’s a natural reaction. As extreme as it is to claim that something doesn’t exist just because you’ve never seen it, it does at the same time seem a rational reaction — especially if those around you are filled with joy and excitement over having experienced such a thing. Envy probably plays a role too.

Behind every hard boiled atheist is most likely an aching heart of a someone who once sought out God but got no answer and is now hardened and filled with sorrow and anger. Denying the existence of something which has denied you, in any context, seems a rational and logical reaction. Extreme? Yes. But we are fragile creatures still.

The answer is love. And then more love. And a sincere prayer that every one who longs to know God in their life is gifted with that opportunity one day.