Well it’s official. Looks like winter is already here. Just decided to go right from summer to winter. No autumn. Not even October yet and we’re waking up shivering. Have the space heater out. I have written a little poem about how I feel about waking up freezing cold already and how few months we actually got to be warm here:
Fuck this cold
Fuck this fucking cold place.
I’m fucking freezing and
It’s still fucking September.
Can we get a fucking fall please?!
God am I fucking cold
This fucking sucks.
Fuck this cold place.
How can people fucking live here.
That should do it for now. might need to tweak it a bit. Haha.
Anyway, woke up this morning thinking more about what we were speaking about yesterday. The whole strengthening the will and discipline muscles concept. More and more and more thinking about it.
Meantime 32 square miles of fires are ravaging southern California. Knee deep in the apocalypse.
Always a lot of talk about indi rock these days. but all the popular indi rock bands are on major labels with 3 million dollar budgets. (that’s an accurate figure – in fact most label guys will admit its closer to 5 million) So how indi rock is that? Maybe indi rock is just a sound anyway. maybe it has nothing to do with being independent or not. but when you think of indi rock you think of bands like dinosaur Jr. or pavement or guided by voices…. or even the velvet underground.
Last screening: History of Islam documentary. Good stuff. learning a lot.
Sunlight is a rare commodity here in New York. I find myself fighting a subtle depression due to never seeing the sun. I look for little pockets of sunlight on certain streets and I dash to them to stand underneath them for a few minutes.
This week I am replacing all of the lightbulbs in my office with full spectrum lights no matter what the office manager has to say about it. its true what they say about lack of sunlight and depression. I have felt it the last few days.
there is an uneasiness in the air about the inevitability of another terrorist attack to New York. Especially since the Bush reelection. But I would say that it probably wouldn’t matter who won. Its just this feeling in the air. The subways are always being stopped now or re-routed. And it is very inconvenient to us. Every few minutes every day we are reminded over a loudspeaker to watch out for strange activity or strange persons or strange packages left lying somewhere in the subways unattended, and to immediately tell a police officer about anything suspicious we see or hear. This is not a good feeling I must confess. People are always nervous about it.
I cannot say that I am completely happy here yet. I am not used to the cold nor the seemingly constant darkness. I now understand this theory I would see talked about on TV about people who get depressed during the winter. I really want to live here, but I just wonder how long it will take me to get accustomed to this cold and darkness and the inconvenience of having to walk everywhere and take the subways, which at first can be very simulating but after a while I just find boring and depressing and monotonous and a general pain in the ass if you are used to driving everywhere. walk. Cross the street. Down the stairs. Through the gate. Down more stairs. Wait. Dash in the train before someone gets your space. Get squashed. Ride and wait some more. stare off into space. look at everyone else’s blank faces. Get off. Avoid hundreds of people. Walk more. up more stairs. Walk more. and now do the same thing getting back. and now do this two to four or more times per day. everyday. Man I miss my beamer. ok I’ve vented enough for now. I feel better.
Last screening: Commanding heights: struggle for the world’s economies, volume two. If you aren’t a fan of economics before you watch this, you very well could become one. fascinating stuff.